Author Fighter OneShots!
by KittenHachiChan
Summary: In short, these collective one-shots are all about the insanity and fun of the Author Fighters! What happens when they go to therapy? What about when TL gets the flu? Or when Hikari hits her head? what about when the youngers throw a house party? Rated T.
1. Kiva's Video Assignment

_OKay, this is a one-shot for fun, just to get my creative juices pumpin' and to get some kind of one shot comedy on the road with my OC's and the Authors in this new series. Thanks to Phoenix and X for the idea! Anyways, I only own my OC Kiva and Kitten, everyone else is belonging to everyone else. Please read, review, and no flames! Thanks!_

_**(static)**_

__The Author Fighters HQ was in the background, large and tall, panels of glass over the off-chanced building with a motorcycle in front and several trees on either side, Other building of LA were placed back behind the building, where LA's Defenders of Truth, Justice, and Fighters of Evil-doers and Darksides resided.

Sadly, it was on its side. Literally.

A tanned hand moved the screen of the camera up normally, revealing a teen with blonde hair and blue-round tipped hair spikes. He wore a blue and red dye-dye shirt, had on jeans, faded sneakers, and a Yang symboled gemstone around his wrist. He coughed, and licked his thumb, clearing the screen a bit, and finally revealing the blue sky and very sunny afternoon.

" Yo everyone back home in Japaaaan!" he pumped his arms. " Kiva Saafu here from the Author Fighters HQ, LA Babeh, where the great heros of Fanfics reside! I chose these dudes for my video project because they kick butt, can get hammered, and I KNOW THESE DUDES PERSONALEY! YEAHZ!"

Kiva kept pumping his arms, then stopped and looked for a button on the camera.

" Scratch what I said about them getting hammered."

_**(static)**_

__The scenery was now in the inside of the Author Fighters building, looking around the foyer. Kiva walked forward, camera in hand and whistled.

" As you can see, their HQ is wicked big and wicked decorated," he said and walked down the hallway, seeing the living room.

There was an argument coming from the room as three guys were on the PS3. He stood in the doorway as he filmed TLSoulDude, XProdigy, and Tal Ordo playing at three separate angles of the screen for Super Smash Bros. TL was laughing as he was pounding as Mario.

" You guys are going down more than Doofenshmirtz!" he laughed.

" Not if I use this," Tal smirked as he pressed A on the WiiMote, making his Link character turn Mario into a trophy.

TL slowly glared at him as Kiva moved behind them. " You suck . . . "

X laughed as he smashed Tal. " The pwned get pwned."

" Alright then Hollow man, prepare to feel the stinging wrath of my Mushrooms!"

TL laughed as he started playing on one hand, reallky dpoig a number to X as Tal was trying to blast back at Soul. Kiva smirked and laughed as he kept filming them, not noticing when the three paused the Smash Bros. game.

" Now these three KNOW how to have fu- whoa, what's up?"

" Kiva, why are you here?" X turned and asked confused.

" Oh, uh, I'm shooting a movie for my digital graphics class, and I was wondering if I could cover you guys," Kiva said. " I told them I knew you guys, and you DID say my name on camera, X Prod."

" Don't call me that . . ." he grumbled.

" I don't mind bein' on camera!" TL laughed. He flexed and said," For those watching, I'm TLSoulDude and I'm one epic son of a 'Hog!"

" Yeah, but filming us as I was wiping the floor with TL?" Tal asked, a bit annoyed. Kiva zoomed in physically and with the zoom option. " it's not cool dude, and don't like to be- . . . get that camera out of my face . . ."

" Tou-chy," Kiva said backing up and stepped from the room. " I'm gonna go find DP."

" I think he's in his study," TL said quickly and restarted the game, but Tal's Link pounded him, turning his white fur a deep red in anger. " SON OF A BI-"

_**(static)**_

__Hikari was in her room, sitting in front of a vanity mirror, doorway cracked open by an inch. She brushed her hair slowly, getting knots out of her wet hair. She hummed a beautiful tune as she brushed 100 times on each side, silver falling from her head in dripping beauty. She was only wearing a plain white towel.

Kiva zoomed in on her face then out as he accidentally moved the door slightly.

Hikari stopped for a second, then shrugged as she started singing lightly. She smiled and cleaned a small speck from her white teeth, and stood up as Kiva zoomed in further, getting a close up shot of her chest as he whispered.

" The leader's girlfriend, Hikari Ino . . . she's . . . she's a . . . well, she's hot dude," he whispered, barely audible.

He zoomed back and got her whole body, her arms on the towel, blushing as she began to remove the-

" AAHHH!" she screamed seeing Kiva in her mirror.

" OH MAN I AM SO SORRY HIKARI!" Kiva yelled and amscrayed.

" Kiva you had best watch your back!" she yelled. " PERVERT! SENPAI! SENPAI!"

Kiva started running from her then, the camera bouncing.

_**(static)**_

__The camera wobbled as Kiva turned a hallway.

_**(static)**_

__Kiva shivered and said blushing," Mrs. Hacknie if you're watching then I know that this is not a great thing and I am SO sorry ma'am!"

He sighed and wiped sweat from his brow as he heard someone on the phone.

" It seems that I have another thing to get with . . ." Kiva laughed.

He walked around the side of the hallway silently as a tiger stalking its prey to a halfway opened door where PhoenixoftheDarkness stood talking on her cell phone.

" Yeah, yeah I know Shikamaru," she said, Kiva zooming in on her face, which was saddened. " Yea-Yeah I know . . . but I can't get to Konoha just now . . . why not?"

" Looks like Phoenix is having love troubles," Kiva whispered as he kept zooming in. " Dudes, take note . . ."

He then zoomed in closer as Phoenix sat down and said into the cell," Yeah Shika, I promise I'll be there later, just have to go on a mission with TL later . . . yeah, last time he drove I nearly died of whiplash . . . no, this time I'M driving . . ."

She then looked over and said," Coudl you hold that thought?"

She walked over to the door and said," Kiva, get lost . . ."

Phoenix slammed the door as Kiva ran back a ways screaming.

_**(static)**_

__Kiva started looking around.

" Man, wonder where everyone is?"

He kept walking around as he asked," I wanted to interview Advent and Loony too! Where are they?"

Suddenly, screaming was in the air.

" GET BACK HERE YOU NON-INSANE SON OF A GUN! I AM FAR MORE INSANE!"

" FAT CHANCE, YOU FAKER!"

Lunatic121 ran past wearing his normal attire and carrying Advent's scythe and laughing like a madman. There were chocolate stains on his face, meaning he had found the sugar stash. He ran past Kiva laughing madly as Advent ran past wearing a ballerina tutu and cown shoes.

" YOU JERKWAD!" he yelled.

" EAT MY SHORTS!" Lunatic yelled.

Kiva was speechless.

Silence.

" That answers one question and yet raises so many others. . ."

_**(static)**_

__Kiva was walking down a hallway, camera screen tilting to the right somewhat, as he looked around. A banging sound was heard in the background, as he entered another room where Ranger24 was. Ranger was using a bullseye in a practice room, training his arm and mind. The green hooded man was hitting the bullseyes every mark.

Kiva whistled as he focues the zoom on Ranger.

" Awesome shooting!"

Ranger yelped and turned to Kiva, gun up. He slowly pulled it down seeing kiva.

" Kiva what the hell are you doing here? I thought you were in Japan."

" I'm shooting a movie for class and was interviewing the Author Fighters. Think you can say something?"

Kiva blinked as Ranger sighed and said," Well, if it's one thing I wanna say, it's that being a hero is no easy job, that, and I gotta get back to practice."

He aimed at the bullseye and hit the target, dead on.

" Nice shot dude!"

" Thanks, getting better and better aim," Ranger smirked. " Fangirls of yaoi, beware."

" Huh?"

" I also have to say this to a certain white haired girl," Ranger turned towards the camera and grumbled," Kitten stop stealing my guns . . ."

Kiva turned and looked out of the doorway, seeing Kitten tiptoeing past the two of them in the room, carrying a Tommy Gun. Ranger groaned as he saw her and yelled, " YOU LITTLE BRAT! I TOLD YOU TO STOP STEALING MY GUNS!"

" You have to have a sweet side Ranger!" Kitten yelled as she ran. " GUNS ARE EVIL!"

Kiva started to run after the two of them, the camera screen shaking up and down as he followed.

_**(static)**_

__Kiva ran past Ranger as he and Kitten made a sharp curve.

" DEVILED EGG-!"

_**(static)**_

__He and Kitten rammed into each other at a turn, him yelling "FU-"

_**(static)**_

__Kitten panted as Kiva reajusted his camera. He focused in and placed it down outside, where Kitten and Kiva had ran. The Tommy Gun was gone as he sighed and wiped his brow. Kitten fanned herself with her wing as Ranger's angry ranting was heard.

" Oh man, that was awesome!" Kiva laughed.

Kitten sighed and said," Not for me . . .I do that everyday . . . and, Kiva?'

" Yeah?" he asked.

He tapped on the camera, which was to his side now, showing the screen along with trees and the side of HQ, which was open and more airy for outside training.

" What's with the camera? And why exactly are you around LA?" Kitten asked, hands to her sides.

" I'm shooting a movie for my class and I was gonna interview Authors, say, think you can say a few words? Ya know, seeing as the audience saw you get epically chased by Ranger24 and steal a gun . . .AND get off the hook!" Kiva laughed as Ranger was still heard in the background swearing.

" He still tries to shoot me . . .daily," Kitten said waving him off as Kiva adjusted the zoom onto Kitten, shaking slightly.

" Oh come on and stop being so modest!" Kiva said.

Kitten blushed deeply and giggling.

" See? THAT is what most people love to see!" Kiva laughed.

" So, where's everyone else at?" Kiva asked keeping the camera in place.

" D-Dude's in his lab, DP's studying magic, DJ and Rook went on a mission with Ross and Air, and I haven't seen Jean all day, but last night he seemed sort of out of it," Kitten said, tapping her nose. " I think it had to do with his nose because there was something on it . . ."

" Not saying a word," Kiva shivered and whispered," Hello blackmail . . ."

He and Kitten got up and started to walk back inside.

_**(static)**_

__An open door was to their left as Kitten and Kiva turned into it, revealing Dimension Dude reading something as he looked at his arms, feathers down. Kiva zoomed in and kept focus.

" So, what's he doing exactly? Reminds me of something that my cuz was doing once with a pelican," Kiva said.

D-Dude turned and saw them, his raptor curve showing widely. He smiled and waved at them as Kiva set the camera to the side on the table.

" Hey Kitten, Kiva," he said. " Why are you guys in my room?"

" I'm shooting a documentary on the Authors," Kiva said, adjusting the camera to D-Dude. " Wanna say something?"

D-Dude saw the camera and froze. He stepped back slowly, away from the screen. His face was a frozen fear-shocked place of terror. He ducked and said," On second thought I don't think I can face that darn thing . . . count this dragonsaur out."

" Who knew you were camera shy?" Kiva grumbled.

Kitten stared at it and shivered, ducking as well.

" Scared."

" Wimps!"

" Kiva, do NOT make me claw at you viciously . . ."

" Sorry D-dude . . ."

_**(static)**_

__Kitten and Kiva were walking in another hallway edge, spying a door lighting up with several colors with shadows underneath.

" That's Dp's room," Kitten said. " He said he was practicing with a new spell book he got last week."

" Radical! I can get some extra credit for showing magical feats! I should have gotten you to fly or do ice work!" Kiva said as they walked into the room.

DP's room was purple, lightish gray in most places, and there were several textbooks of magical spells and principles to the side of a podium where he read another spell. DarkPaladinmon smiled as he levitated another spell-book over, flipped through a few pages, and read back from the other book. Kiva and Kitten stared, Kiva focusing the camera on DP's motions, and saw the reaction of the spell, which was an aurora of several altered colors.

" Perfect!" he smiled.

" Hey Dp!" Kitten smiled.

" Yo DP!" Kiva said.

Dp turned to see them standing, now fully facing the camera lense.

" Hey Kitten, Kiva," he smiled. " So, what's with the camera?"

" I'm shooting a movie for my video class, so I decided to pick the Authors as my subject! Radical huh?" He laughed.

DP nodded and sat down on a stool, looking at Kiva and the camera. " I guess you wanna hear me say something, huh? not like I get enough of this from other reporters . . .so let the stuff fly, Kiva."

" Alright, so, what's it like being the leader of the Author Fighters?" Kiva asked, moving the camera to DP's face.

DP put his hand on his chin, then said," Excellent question and I can say this about it: everyday with my friends and teammates is a great day to be alive, saving the day from Drake, stopping the plots of the evil forces of the universe, and even fighting with TL over the last slice of cheese pizza. However, whatever chaos is outside can always leak to us on the inside, like whenever a fight goes on, or when a certain force always mangages to destroy HQ."

" Yeah, that DOES happen a lot, like Bonfire Night, whatever that means, I wasn't around," Kitten rambled and walked out fo the room, still silently talking to herself.

" Then there's the eccentricity of most of the members," DP said then laughed. " And then my beloved HIkari . . . I can just go on and on about her . . . where was I?"

" Maybe I should ask my enxt question before you talk more about your hot girlfriend," Kiva said.

DP glared at him then.

" What was that?"

" NOTHING! Next question! So, what was the worst thing to ever-" Kiva started.

A loud stomping sound was heard as a red-faced and frustrated Hikari came in, wearing normal clothes and hair down and dried. She was steaming as she revealed red fiery eyes.

" Senpai, Kiva was a pervert to me!" she yelled.

" What?" DP asked standing up.

" Kiva was video-taping me as I was getting undressed!" she yelled, turning bright red all over.

Kiva was shaking, the camera shaking as well as the angry two turned to him.

" Kiva, what do you gave to say?"

" KIVA YOU JERK!" Phoenix yelled, running inside. " kitten told me you were in here! I wanna kill you for destroying my love life!"

Kiva was shaking more.

" B ut-But you told Shikamaru that you weren't going on that date!" he yelled. " OH man where's Rook when ya need the poor bastard?"

ranger than came in carrying a water-logged gun, steaming. " Do I NEED to say it?"

" Kiva, you are SO in trouble here . . ." DP said.

Kiva then turned the camera as he gulped, letting it face his now color-drained face.

" And that folks is the end of Kiva SaaFUUU!"

The camera was fuzzed out and fell onto its side as the few Authors in the room began to attack-

_**(static)**_

__A woman with salt and pepper hair in her late 70's wearing a pink dress was weatching the film, seeing Kiva's report on her desk as she tsked once the movie ended. She tapped the papers in order again and reread the last paragraph.

_' And so, with me finishing my interview, I recieved a well deserved roundhouse kick to the walnuts from Hikari, a Half nelson with a Full Hitch from Phoenix, and a magical bone-breaking punch from DP and Ranger. Kitten sent me her regards in a large rose bouquette and said the video-game interview with TL, Tal and the guys inspired them to do a video shoot as well. I still feel pain in my loins from Hikari and I don't think it'll ease up anytime soon . . . and that is the story of the Authors!'_

Silence.

" I give it a C plus."

_With apologies to the Authors!_


	2. A Flustrating Soup

_Alright, here's another one-chot to get the creative juices a-pumpin'! I only own Kitten and no one else here! Thanks and please read, review, and no flames! Thank you!_

" ACHOOO!" a sneeze echoed in Author Fighter HQ.

Kitten Hachi-chan was jostled from her seat on the living room couch as she heard it, volume one of Pixie Pop on her head like a house's roof.

" What was that?" Kitten asked.

Phoenix was sitting on the other edge of the couch, and as her Keyblade next to her spun onto her other side as she was startled onto her back, she said" Sounds a lot like a truck backfiring."

" Feels more like someone punched another wall," Rook yawned, coming in and stretching, hair frizzled. " Who's been withholding anger again?"

The two looked at Kitten, who refolded the manga and sat back up. " Hey, don't look at me."

" ACHHOOO!" another sneeze echoed, shaking the HQ.

" Con sarn it!" Rook yelled and walked out of the living room. " Who's doing that?"

Kitten and Phoenix saw his leave, anger still seeming from him. The two girls looked at each other before they followed the white-haired young adult. They had barely walked down the hallway as they saw a few other Author Fighters near an open doorway to Airnaruto's room.

" What goes on?" Phoenix asked.

" Air got the flu," Lunatic121 said, looking over, looking about ready to bust a gutt.

" Your doing?" Phoenix laughed.

Lunatic laughed and waved her off, saying," OH no, not my thing, my bro did it this time."

" I said I was sorry!" TL said. " Didn't figure dumping a bucket of water on Air's head would cause him to get sick!"

Inside of Air's room, he was shaking on his bed as Hikari Ino, dressed in a splendid white nurse's outfit with her long silver hair in a bun, was checking his temperature. He sniffled and then stratched his nose, as he backed up, nose burning him, then sneezed again.

" ACHOO!"

HIkari stepped out of the way of an Airbender blast, which shook the part of the Author Fighters HQ. The others were stunned to the degree his powers were when sick.

" Sheesh man," DP said walking in.

Kitten, Phoenix and Rook peeked in with Lunatic and TL. Dawn was also standing there, but was more about to laugh from Air's looks while being ill. Hikari tsked as she removed the thermometer.

" TL-san, you were crazy enough to go on a prank war with Air-san and now he's got the flu alright, fever of 101.3." Hikari clarified. " Air-san, please stay in bed. You need rest. And as for the, um, Airbending sneezes, I suggest leaning over the side of the bed to do so."

Air nodded and said, stuffed up," No use arguing Hikari . . . I'm sick. I can't even feel my feet."

" Or see them with that blanket wrapped around you, Airnar," Lunatic laughed.

Air shot his pupil a glare as he fell back behind Rook, who sighed and rubbed his forehead.

" Maybe I can try a spell or something to sure this . . ." DP thought, hand on his chin. " I do have a spellbook somewhere with a specific incantation for these kinds of things . . ."

" So does King but you can't expect him to use it right," Kitten mumbled and giggled.

" Your friends are weird," Phoenix laughed.

" NO way, boss, I'm tackling this the old fashioned way, without the aid of magic, no matter how great the relief . . .may . . . be . . . " Air thought as Hikari tried to help him lay back down. " On second thought, try to find that spell . . ."

DP nodded and said," And Air? Try not to spread this to the others . . . the last thing we need is all of us out of commission thanks to an illness."

He looked towards the other Authors in the room and added," That goes for all, and I mean ALL, of you. The flu is contagious, so please keep healthy and if you start feeling sick, get to Hikari or myself. We need to keep focused and stop this illness from spreading. Now let's give Air some space so he can rest."

DP walked out with his staff in hand as Hikari smiled to Air, who smiled, but blew his nose into a tissue.

" I feel so sorry for you, Airnaruto," Kitten said with large sad blue eyes. " Is there anything that we can do for you to help you feel better?"

Phoenix looked at her oddly. " We?"

Air coughed and said," Just leave me be so I can nap. I'm a quick healer, and thanks for the offer Kitty-cat, but I can just sleep this off."

" Are you sure, because I know this recipe for a great soup that will-" Kitten started, but AdventChild hooked her neck with his scythe and began to pull her back out of the room with a light squeal.

" COME on Kitten," he laughed. " Let's leave the Sniffle-Bender to his nap. You can make that soup later!"

" But, but-!" Kitten yelped as the door closed.

Air sighed as he clapped, the light going off.

" Darn kid never knows when to quit helping. . ."

XXX

MistressofDawn yawned on the couch, the afternoon sun already outside. She stretched and turned over, coughing lightly. She scratched her ear and sat up slowly, feeling dizzy. She sniffled, her nose red and she coughed again. She groaned trying to move her legs over the side of the couch, but shivered.

" Oh man, why is it so cold in here?" she shook all over.

" Last time I go out to eat sushi," TL said walking into the living room, walking past the now sickened Dawn. " I mean that sushi tasted like-" He stopped, and walked backwards quickly to the now pale and sweating Dawn. " Dawn, oh sweet Fictor, are you alright?"

" I think I'm getting the-the-the-Ah-ACHOO!"

She sneezed on TL, who wiped off the spit and sweat. " Gross."

" Sorry," she shivered.

TL helped up the shaking werewolfess and walked her out of the living room.

" Come on Dawn, let's get you to bed and then I'll get Hikari," he said. " Oh boy, first Air now you? Who's next?"

" Don't jinx it, you white furball" Dawn said, her nose now stuffed up with mucus.

" I just hope Loony doesn't get it, when he sneezes, he sneezes ice," TL said, sniffling a bit.

Dawn nodded and said," I think DJ gets the same sensation from Kitten."

TL laughed as he led Dawn into her room.

" Same sensa- seriously, where do you come up with stuff!" TL laughed and held his sides as he closed the door, but sniffled and said," So funn-fun-fa-ah-Ah ACHOO!"

He sniffled as Hikari walked down the hallway hearing him, still dressed as a nurse. She helped TL as his large sapphire eyes went halfway shut and puffy.

" Oh, hey Hikari . . ."

" TL-san, now you're sick along with Dawn-chan," she sighed. " I just hope Sempai doesn't get sick . . ."

XXX

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Kitten was mixing soup together in a large cooking pot. She stirred a steaming liquid, wearing a white puffy apron. Phoenix sighed as she sat nearby, chopping a carrot into slices.

" Kitty, why are you making this much soup anyways? And furthermore, why am I cutting the carrots?" Phoenix asked.

Kitten smiled and said," Because I always love to help out others, and this is no ordinary soup, Phoenix."

" Doesn't answer my questions," she sighed, finishing the carrots.

Kitten scooped the carrots and explained smiling," This is my secret family's recipe for More-Safe-Than-Sorry Spicy Chicken Nikujaga soup, made with fake chicken meat, real carrots and peas, oregano, and other special herbs to add the special spicy zing and secret ingredient that ties it all together! It can cure anything!"

Phoenix sighed and held her head, saying," How about a headache?"

" Only one cup then," Kitten said stirring in the carrots. " I know the recipe by heart, and it cures the flu in less than ten minutes!"

" And the spicy part?"

" I added some chopped up jalapeno peppers, a little bit of mustard seed, and to top it all off, a lot of cayenne pepper."

" That's some spicyness, but fake chicken?" Phoenix asked.

" I'm a vegetarian. What did you expect?"

" Got me there . . . but then why is there this much when there are only four sick members?" Phoenix asked, coughing slightly.

" Because others may catch the flu and to avoid those harsh moments, I am making extras," she smiled. She turnwed tp Phoenix and held up a spoon filled with soup. " Give this a taste, please."

" I'd rather lick TL's sick feet," Phoenix groaned walking off. " Look, I'm not feeling hot, so I'm gonna go lie down foir a while."

" Okay then!" she smiled and waved, then licked the spoon and soup. " Needs more oregano . . ."

" I have to teach her how to be mean once in a while . . ." Phoienix sniffled, then sneezed, blowing her back a foot. " OH no, now I'M got the flu! Curse those stupid germs! I had a Saturday date with Shikamaru!"

Lunatic passed her as she began to run off to find Hikari, laughing.

" Oh man this is just getting better and better!"

XXX

Two days had past at Author Fighter HQ.

The HQ was barely even alive on the outside nor on the inside, half and a quarter of the Authors having caught Air's flu, who was still feeling under the weather. The only ones who were not sick were DP, who was shut up in his room trying to find a get-well spell, Hikari, who was helping those sick, D-Dude, who was wary of getting sick for his Dragonsaur blood and anti-bodies, and three other members who were out on a mission of patrol and inform to the police of their conditions.

Kitten was still in the kitchen, smiling as she scooped the last of the soup into a glass bowl and salted it, then topped it with parssimon.

" There!" she smiled, wiping her forehead. " That's the last of my soup!"

HIkari sighed and walked in, sitting down. " I can't believe most of us are sick . . . my feet are killing me . . . . "

" Sorry, HIkari," Kitten said sadly.

" No need, Kitten," Hikari said, sniffing the spicy soup. " It's . . . not your . . . fault, and that soup smells pretty good, but . . . really . . ."

" Hot and spicy? it clears out the nose, that, or it's the wasabi I added for extra zing," Kitten smiled.

Hikari shivered hearing _wasabi _was in the soup, her hair spiking out.

" Or maybe it's all those jalapeno peppers and the spicier ones I portaled to Louisianna to get . . ." Kitten thought more as she floated.

HIkari shivered more, then sighed and said," Well, are you sure this soup, whatever it's made of, can cure everyone?"

" Of course!" Kitten smiled grabbing two bowls in each hand and one in her tail. " After about an hour, everyone in HQ will be back to normal!"

Hikari took two bowls and nodded. " I hope you're right . . ."

" When have I ever been wrong? I have issues with lying Hikari," she said, flying out of the kitchen.

" I know, and sometimes I worry . . ." Hikari sighed then smiled and walked out of the kitchen.

XXX

Dawn was scooping soup into her mouth slowly, feeling a violent spicy sensation on her tongue. " Jesus Christ on a Sunday that burns!"

" WATER!" TL yelled running past, mouth smoking.

Lunatic downed the entire bowl and sniffed a huge amount of air in, smiling," Not bad! Think I can have seconds?"

" Loony, don't push it," Phoenix shivered as she drank some more soup.

Lunatic sighed," Least I can breath again! I can BREATH again! First time ever in a day I can breath! Hallelujah!"

" Sheesh," Advent sighed," YOU get more philosophical . . . ad that means I BEAT YOU!"

Advent jumped up and kept jumping, feeling better already. Lunatic growled and stood up, jumping after Advent, who was now jumping on the couch. He lunged to go strangle the Jashin lover but missed and ended up still bouncing on the couch.

" IN YOUR SICK DREAMS!" Lunatic yelled.

" I STILL BEAT YOU!" Advent laughed.

" Oh brother," Rook said, sighing happily to smell again.

Hikari smiled as the other Authors were eating their soup in the living room, now in her normal clothes again, DP by her side. DarkPaladinmon sighed and said," Thank goodness that soup is a cure! Wonder how Kitty did it."

" I wonder what her secret ingredient was," Phoenix asked.

" Well, to those who want more, there's no more," TL sighed coming out of the kitchen. " Whole pot's empty."

" Aw shoot!" Lunatic yelled in anguish.

Kitten then stepped in, hair down and not in the usual braid." Are you sure?"

" Yeah, and sweet Hawaiian sunset!" TL said.

Kitten had a pale complexion, her long white hair was past her feet and frizzled a bit, nose red and puffy, eyes swollen, shaking from the cold and forehead warm as Costa Rica. She sniffled as she came in, stepping carefully.

" Kitty you look like you got the flu now," Phoenix laughed.

" I know . . . guess me being the cook this time ended up with me getting the flames out of the frying pan," Kitten sniffled. " I thi-I think tha- I thi-thi-thia-ah-ah-!"

" SHE'S GONNA BLLLOOOOOWWW!" Rook yelled and ducked.

The others ducked as Kitten finally-

" ACHOO!"

There was a large coating of ice all around the room, covering the couch and nearly to D-Dude's head.

" HELP! ICE BOOGER!" TL yelled, foot caught.

DP broke up the ice with DJ's help, who mumbled something about the ice not being the last.

" Sorry, guess the sickness is on me this time," Kitten laughed, sniffling and coughing still.

" Oh brother," the others said.

_With apologies to the AF!_


	3. Summer Swimout

_Here's another funny one-shot worthy of a laugh! I only own Kitten and the Metagang, no one else! PLease read, review, and no flames! Thanks!_

The summer heat belted down on LA, people dressed in shorts and wearing sunblock headed to either the beach or to their own backyard pools. Cars lay hot in the street as the unlucky few were forced outside to do their hotwork, or inside with broken air conditioners and intensified sweating. A dog was barking in the heat, whimpering to go inside.

At the Author Fighters HQ, a few in the living room were suffering from the large heat wave.

" Curse global warming," TL huffed, sweating enough to make his white fur damp.

" Man it's hot . . . so hot I can't breath . . ." DJ panted, his hood still on but sweating underneath and revealing his green glowing eyes.

" THEN pull off the hood, demon reaper," Ranger24 sighed, fanning himself.

" Why don't you?" DJ asked, sweating like a pig. " You wear your green hood around all day . . ."

Ranger growled as Dawn sighed and said, sweating profusely in her normal shirt and jeans," Alright boys, we're all hot and we all know that heat makes everyone go crazy. Let's all just calm down and stay icy chill."

" Easier for you to say, Mrs. Werewolf fur is insulated," Ranger said, sticking a gun out.

Dawn growled at him and sat down as Nukid panted on the floor, trapped in a puddle of his own sweat and tears.

" It's so hot . . . not used . . . to . . . the heat . . ." he dragged along the floor. " Shooooot . . . meeeeee . . . ."

Ranger cocked a pistol.

" NOT LITERALLY!" Nukid sprang back up.

" Keep your sweat to yourself," Phoenix wiped her self off with an already damp rag, sighing happily, the others already laughing. She looked over at the laughing members and asked," Alright, what in Unity's name is so gosh darn funny?"

" Why are you wiping your face with my sweat rag?" TL laughed.

Phoenix screamed and flung it at TL, who caught it as the others all laughed. Phoenix growled and murmured something about it not being funny.

" Hello everyone!" Hikari smiled, walking in. " Why are you all here when we can all down outside to the back?"

She was dressed in a fluffy white swimsuit, her long silver hair up in a ponytail and her face was more of a happy expression as she carried a purple and green lawnchair.

Nukid smiled pervertedly and asked," So Hikari, why exactly are you wearing a swimsuit . . . like . . .that?"

She gave Nukid a look and said," Because, we have a pool, you all remember that, right?"

" But it's so hot out . . ." Phoenix fanned herself.

" Not in the pool!" Hikari giggled. " The pool was melted with Quill and Kitten's ice attacks, the sun's out but you can just sunbathe and it's not going to give you a bvurn today, and Senpai is making hotdogs and baked potatoes!"

" I HEARD THE MAGIC WORD!" TL yelled and ran outside, along with Ranger, Phoenix, Dawn, and Nukid when they heard the word 'ice'.

Hikari shrugged and said walking out," Guess they wanted to chill."

XXX

The backyard of the HQ was mowed down to perfection, trees in the central area of the sides near sidewalks and fences, and a large pool was in the center. It went down several feet in many spots, with a diving board, slide, and guard rails. There were lawn chairs to the side as Hikari was sunbathing, next to her was Dawn in a purple bikini, both coated in tanning lotion.

" This is great, huh Hikari?" Dawn asked, smiling.

" You bet, Dawn," Hikari smiled. " Beats being trapped in a hot building all day, huh?"

" Yeah, and speaking of which, Phoenix using TL's sweat rag was hilarious," Dawn laughed.

" I SAID IT"S NOT FUNNY!" Phoenix yelled as she floated past in the pool.

The pool was barely crowded with seven people in it already. Advent, wearing black and red trunks, was laughing at Lunatic, who was floating on his stomach in blue and red trunks. Phoenix was floating on a blue raft in a brown and purple swimsuit, sighing happily in the moment of sunlight and coolness. Kitten was sitting on the edge of the pool, feet in the water and wearing a light blue one-piece swimsuit, looking nervous. DJ was wearing black trunks and had taken off his hood, revealing darkened imp skin and green eyes. Mora-nara was wearing orange and red on his trunks as he sat on the steps of the pool, relaxing in the water.

" I thought you hated the water, mate," said Nukid, his blonde hair wet over his eyes and wearing green trunks.

" I hate it, but in this case of heat, I'll make an exception," Mora sighed.

Kitten kept splashing the water with her feet as Lunatic and Advent swam over.

" So, you helped to fill the pool, but you won't get in the pool," Lunatic said putting a hand on his chin and then climbing next to her. " Makes NO sense, girl."

" The thing isn't that I can't swim, nor do I hate to, just . . ." Kitten said.

" CANNONBAAAAALL!" TL yelled, jumping on the high-diving board and into the pool.

" SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!" Phoenix yelled swimming over.

TL splashed perfectly into the pool, causing a wave to go and splash Kitten, Lunatic, Phoenix, and Advent. TL resurfaced whooping and swam over to the ladder, yelling," BEST DIVE EVER!"

Kitten rung out her large ponytail. " Aside from TL doing that all the time I just can't swim very well, and I'm five foot nothing, so I'm afraid I'll drown."

" OH pish-posh," Advent laughed and pulled on her arm and thus pulling her into the pool with a tiny splash. " You have WAY too much self-doubt in your system young lady! Now, just try to stand in the water and float!"

Kitten sank until the top of her head was visible, making the two boys go wide-eyed.

" Maybe you DO have a point . . ."

XXX

DP meanwhile was with TL, AirNaruto, D-Dude, and Ranger at the grill, where there were kabobs, hot-dogs, and hamburgers were already sizzling. There were condiments and packages of buns and cheeses to the right of them, but for the moment they were focused on getting the burgers cooked to perfection.

" I'm still saying they're raw," DP said poking one.

" I say they're okay," D-Dude said.

" This coming from the guy who half-cooks things or overdoes it . . . " Ranger groaned. " At least the kabobs are done. Who wants one?"

As Ranger grabbed one, TL kept his eyes on the baked potato with his name on it. It was as though he was in a trance.

" TL's addiction?" DP asked D-Dude, who nodded. " Least in that he doesn't call me Boss Whiz . . . thank the Lord."

" Yep, when he gets like this, he'll do ANYTHING for a baked potato," D-Dude said, then added," Do not try anything. Seriously, he's my brother."

" Swing and a miss," Ranger said after biting a kabob.

DP stopped grilling and flipped the last burger, saying, " They're done! Now who wants a side of angus beef?"

TL swiped a potato off the grill and laughed running off, screaming " HOT! HOT! HOT!" as Air made himself a burger. The others were either still relaxing or in the pool goofing off, and weren't in the mood for a burger or baked potato.

DP snatched one and bit out of it as Ranger took another bite of the kabob.

" Now if only I could shoot a certain someone, then today would be perfect," Ranger mumbled.

" Huh?" Air and DP asked looking at the Twilight Ranger.

" Nothing."

XXX

Advent and Lunatic meanwhile were helping Kitten stay afloat in the pool and needless to say, were in severe need of assistance. In other words, they were more interested into one thing.

" Are you sure about this?" Kitten asked, her being on Advent's shoulders and wobbling back and forth.

" Of course!" he winked to Lunatic, who had Phoenix on his shoulders.

" Alright Loony, now what was it you wanted me over for?" she asked.

" CHICKEN FIIIIIIIGHT!" Loony and Advent yelled and bumped into each other, laughing like the real maniacs they were and shaking Kitten and Phoenix more.

" EIYEEE!" Kitten yelled wobbling. " HOW WAS THIS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME?"

" Help you? We just wanted a Water Chicken Fight!" Advent laughed.

" YEAH!" Lunatic stepped back, Phoenix trying to pund his head with her fist.

Kitten wobbled back and forth, before screaming and falling backfirst into the pool's water, taking Advent with her. He yelled something about how Jashin had to spare him from the agony of the water, then were coated in the cool and refreshing liquid. Lunatic laughed as the two resurfaced, Kitten splashing to stay afloat and swam insanely to the other side of the pool. She coated Lunatic and Phoenix on water as they separated.

Mora, on the other side of the pool, was sighing with delight, eyes closed and soaking up the sun in the higher waters.

" Man this is the life . . . "

His ears pricked as he heard whooshing wind, and then saw a splashing Kitten headed his way.

" SON OF A BI-!"

He was coated with water as Kitten ran out and grabbed a towel, slowly sitting in a lawn chair and fanned herself with it. " Oh-Oh man . . . I am so sorry everyone!" she cried.

" Yeah, it's cool . . ." Mora said, soaked to the bone and growling under his breath," Nothing I won't kill you later on tonight for . . ."

" Dang it, fear for her was motivation," Loony said, then slapped his knee underwater and laughed more of a maniac.

Phoenix sighed and slapped him in the face, smirking," I ALWAYS wanted to do that . . ."

Advent coughed up water, saying," What just happened?"

" What DID happen? All I saw was a water jet!" TL asked, remainders of warm already eaten potato on his nose.

" Uh, bro?" Lunatic said, pointing at his mouth. " You've got something right there . . . nonono, right THERE."

TL noticed and laughed saying," Sorry, addiction got the better of me . . ."

Dawn and Hikari had also been soakedm their hair covering their faces. They walked beside TL, wet and as Dawn's case, slightly sun-tanned. She strained her hair and whipped it back and forth before facing the group.

" I think it's safe to say that today can end on this note . . ." she said shaking.

" Agreed," Phoenix said getting out of the pool.

Kitten walked back over laughing nervously and mumbling, " I'm so sorry . . ." over and over again, towel wrapped around her. Mora was growling at her as he shook off, then walked inside, mumbling about having to blow dry his ears and tail. Ranger sighed and slung his gun around his shoulder. DP stretched and looked at the surrounding areas, the afternoon sun falling deep begind the building and now going behind the buildings nearby.

" Alright Authors, time to wrap this up."

" Thank God," Dawn yawned.

XXX

Advent was stretching in the living room later, getting cricks out of his neck.

" Man, Kitten weighs a LOT more than she says she does . . . it feels like my shoulders were hit with bricks!"

" Might not wanna say any more about that dude," Wildrook said, relaxing on the couch next to Trisha, his nine-tailed Kitsune girlfriend.

Trisha nodded and, one tail flipping to Advent, " Yeah, Jashin lover, you may wanna shut up."

" OH no, I'm saying this, she's a coward and really not-" he turned to see Kitten, who was right behind him. " - light . . . "

She slowly looked angry.

" Trisha, can I borrow your Kitsune anger?"

" Yeah."

" Oh crud . . ."

XXX

XProdigy was on his bed, reading Bleach volume 24 when he heard swears in another tongue and bangs on the floor, the temperature change, and sighed as he heard Advent's yellings. He flipped a page of the book and shook his head.

" I'm not going to even ask this time . . ."

_With apologies to everyone!_


	4. Cosplay Party Night!

_Here's the next one-shot! I only own Kitten and the Metagang members, so please read, review, and no flames! Thank you!_

The night sky was above and stars were sparkling over the city of LA as the Author Fighters HQ was glimmering inside with lights and several people. There were decorations of anime characters all over as people were either dancing to the pop rock music or were chatting near the punch bowl. The light feeling of walking on air was all over, and the costumes everyone wore were making the festivities even more so jovial. Even the newer members of the Author Fighters were enjoying themselves.

" So, you were arrested in China?" Ranger asked. He was sporting a V costume from _'V for Vendetta' _and talking to a familiar teen wearing an Ulquiorra costume. " What did you in?"

" Got involved in the Yakuza . . ." Scorpion said, sipping punch. " WORST idea ever . . . and all I did was get caught holding the bag, I did nothing."

" Still, nice one man," Ranger said.

" Yeah, except I'm not to also step at least 100 feet near the middle section of the Great wall," Scorpion said, his gemstone twinkling in the changing lights. " Do NOT ask why . . . but it also involves my brother."

" DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS!" King yelled nearby, dressed up as Noitorra, but the teeth were not available in sight. He however did have the hair.

Phoenix was talking with Kitten nearby on the couch. Phoenix was dressed as Sora from Kingdom Hearts, her hair done up in his hair style fashion and surprisingly with gel, no scissors required, and her Keyblade was to her side. Kitten was dressed as Chii from Chobits, her hair long and down, but it was tied up in a bow on the end to prevent it from spraying everywhere. She was watching nearby.

" WHY did you invite the Metagang again?" Phoenix asked Kitten, who was shaking.

" I thought it was a good idea . . ." she shivered and slumped on the couch. " I just hope that the worst doesn't happen . . ."

" What's the worst that could ha-" Phoenix started, but Advent passed by, covering her mouth.

Advent was obviously dressed as Hidan with his scythe, but his look at the moment was no more insane than a serial killers, which was just usual for him. He left go of her mouth as she blinked alongside Kitten. He turned and said," NEVER say that line. It's taboo . . .", then walked away. Aside from the music and other laughter and conversation, Kitten and Phoenix were silent and heard silence.

" Advent was sane for a few seconds . . . check hell's temp," Phoenix laughed and fell over laughing.

Kitten blinked. " Huh?"

XXX

Roscoso, wearing the Kamen Rider Kivat costume, was drinking punch with a Kamina from _Gurren Lagaan_, Wildrook. Next to them was a brown haired teen with glasses, and the Yin gemstone, dressed as Aizen from _Bleach_, Banjomaru, and with Dawn, who was dressed in Sailor Pluto's costume while drinking punch, wary of spilling it on the whites of the costume and to not end up being a pervert's target at the costume party. Ross took a sip and cleared his throat. Rook nodded.

" Okay, my go," he said. " Which would you rather do: jump off the Empire State building naked if it saved your life, or bungee jump naked for the hell of it?"

" What?" Dawn asked annoyed.

Ross laughed and said," If it saved my life, why not?"

" My cousin did that already . . ." Banjoamru groaned. " He definitely has bungee jumped off of BOTH areas, but even if he did so, he's sky dive naked before doing it again . . ."

There was an awkward silence.

" He . . . he has?" Rook asked.

Banjomaru nodded and sipped his punch. " Yep, he's a freakin' dynamo . . . "

Danw blinked and asked," What else has he done, just for the heck of the moment?"

" WELL," Banjomaru sighed and took out a pad of paper, numbered off with 1 to whatever number, detailed neatly and all in pen. He flipped through talking and mumbling to himself as Ross, Rook, and Dawn all watched and awaited his final answer. Banjomaru looked up and said," Ya wanna borrow the list or what? There's everything in here from . . . 'streaking in the park on skateboard' and 'followed Hilary Duff to a concert in New York and got her to sign my butt' to 'farting in church alongside to morning prayers in Sunday School' and 'scaled school with bathroom plungers on Janera's dare'. Funniest things he's ever done are all in the back in red along with stuff WE did with him."

There was another silence as someone ran past carrying a Twister board.

" And HOW do you maintain sanity with these guys?" Dawn and Ross asked Rook unanimously.

" I don't . . ."

XXX

" Okay Edge, left foot green," Hikari Ino said sitting on a chair as five other Authors played Twister. She was dressed up as Holo from _Spice and Wolf_, adding her own special touches to the costume, such as more white on her ears and a more elegant costume.

The only problem was that the five Authors playing the game were already semi-tangled, and the costumes worn were not helping. AirNaruto was cosplaying as the Second Hokage, aready having his left arm and leg tangled with Erin Bubble, cosplaying as Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew. Her toy tail and left limbs were stuck in a way with the right arm and left leg of Lion's Edge, a newly added, and insane, member of the Author Fighters, wearing a costume of Graham from _Baccano!_. His head was being pressed on accidentally by DW64's right foot, posing like a gymnist bending backwards with a right hand on red and right foot on blue. He was cosplaying as a wrestler from the WWE. The last player in the game, Tal Ordo, another newer member, was dressed up as Lelouch vi Britannia, somehow keeping his gun on him, and sadly was also having issues keeping balance.

" I think I'm gonna die after this . . ." Tal murmured in pain from staying still in his position.

" Edge? Your go," Hikari repeated smiling," Left foot, green."

" LET'S DO THIS!" Edge yelled and slowly moved his left foot to green, hearing his bones creak as the others moved to be a bit more free of the pain.

" Man this game is painful . . . curse you Hasbro!" DW screeched.

" DID Hasbro make this game?" Erin as about to fall, but stopped herself.

" Not sure . . ." Hikari shrugged.

" I thought it was . . ." DW said.

" Then ask someone," Tal groaned. " And do it before my leg breaks . . ."

Kiva Saafu passed by the game with Tanuki, both dressed up as other characters of the Arrancar. Kiva was dressed as Gin, his hair covered by a white wig glues up to resemble Gin's hair, and Tanuki was dressed as Tia Harribel, bot was not successfully unrevealing her mouth. They turned their heads and saw the commotion.

" Hey Kiva," DW said," was this game made by Hasbro?"

" Yeah, in 1966 by Hasbro," he said smiling like Gin.

" Huh, see, there ya go," DW said shrugging.

Hikari spun the needle again and it stopped. " Alright then, now that that's settled . . . Erin, your go: left hand, yellow."

" Got . . . it!" Erin reached and got it, wary of her shaky leg and arms. " O-Oh God it feels like I'm gonna fall . . . "

" OH yeah!" Tal laughed. " Gonna win like how I beat TL!"

" HEY! DO NOT drag me into this!" TL yelled running over. He was dressed as Rorscach from the Watchmen, wearing the mood changing mask as he saw what was going on. " OH sweet Twister! I play winner!"

" Sempai and DJ have dibs fist, TL-san, but you can get into the game by then," HIkari smiled.

" BOOYAH!" TL laughed.

" Do you even think you can play with your height and weight ratio compared to the others on the matt?" Kiva asked looked over, eyes now open. " Man it hurts to keep your eyes closed for so long . . . ouch . . . am I bleeding out of them yet?"

" No," TL said, then glared at Kiva saying," What's that supposed to mean you hippie?"

" Watch it man, I already KNOW a hippie who lives in NYC, and secondly, I'm saying, even YOU wouldn't survive in a mosh pit like that game for five seconds . . ." Kiva said counting down on his fingers. " Besides, I-"

" Hold it, what's with this?" TL asked watching his fingers, imitating Kiva, annoyed.

Kiva blinked and cocked his head to the side where the matt was, just as there was a slight scream and a large tumbling sound, a thud against the floor, the three nearby turning away quickly more than once as the noises escalated into pain and terror. TL cringed along with Tanuki, Kiva watching with horror. There were moans of pain as Tal groaned limping over.

" I think I busted my foot . . ."

" THAT GAME IS AS EVIL AS SIMON!" Edge yelled, dragging himself off, suddenly getting a devious smile. " Hmm . . . Oh ADVENT!"

TL shivered as Kiva said," THAT is why."

Tanuki walked off. " I am so not cool with this . . . nor am I cool with dressing as Tia Harribel . . . no offence."

" None taken," the real Tia Harribel said as she passed by, drinking punch.

XXX

" Dude, just say it!" Scorpion yelled at Haru, who was dressed as Szayel Aporro Grantz, hair dyed pink because of the costume. They had sparks flying in violent threads and anger was an obvious sign in the mess of it all. " Go ahead ya big baby and just say the line already!"

" HELL no!" Haru growled, eyes red. " I'd rather swallow fishpaste and hide in my father's domain for all eternity!"

" Least THERE people don't tell you you look like a fag!" he yelled.

" THAT'S IT!" Haru stood up growling.

" Yo, chill dudes," Lunatic groaned on the couch, cosplaying as Vash the Stampede from _Trigun_. " It's just Truth or Dare . . . and yeah Haru, ya gotta say it dude!"

" HELL NO!" Haru groaned.

" Sorry dude, you picked the da-are," D-Dude laughed, painted and looking a bit more like HellBoy from the _Darkhorse _comics of the same series. He laughed along with the others nearby and added," It's either you say the line like Scorpion dared you to, or you gotta wear the suit dude."

Haru's pupils shrank and he gulped, then shivered and sighed, mumbling the line.

" I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that," King snickered cupping his ear. " _What _was the line now?"

Haru mumbled it louder, steaming with anger as the others were laughing and Lunatic took out a tape recorder, turning it on and letting it go.

" Now, WHAT was that man?" Nukid asked, cosplaying as Edward Elric, hair still unbraided. " Try it again . . ."

Haru steamed and stood up, yelling " COLONEL ROY MUSTANG LOOKS DEAD SEXY IN A MINI SKIRT! HAPPY NOW?"

The guys nearby laughed and fell over, Lunatic holding his sides and Nukid coughing from his laughter. D-Dude and King were laughing in tandem as Scorpion playfully punched Haru's shoulders like a mock game of Punchies. Janera passed by at the same moment haru yelled out the line, just as others were looking over. She had her gemstone in a familiar braid of red hair, wearing a familiar _FullMetal Alchemist _costume. She glared at Nukid and stepped over.

" Yo, British punk," she growled cracking her knuckles. " WHY are you wearing the same costume I am?"

" Well, no one called dibs . . ." Nukida glared back, mocking her.

" If you didn't make me wonder if I could act more insane, I'm smack ya right in the puss!" Janera said.

" Don't let that bother ya, jack!"

Janera pounced on Nukid and the two were soon in a dust cloud fight as swears were exchanged. D-Dude laughed as Lunatic filmed the scene, the two still going at it as someone yelled " EDWARD FIGHT!"

" It's an international incident," Scorpion laughed.

" Dude, she's gonna SO kill him, and you of all people along with me saw the poor dude's vid," Haru said to Scorpion.

The two shivered then looked at each other, solemn looks on their faces. The ran into the cloud fight and pulled Nukid from the brawl, Janera being pulled back by other girls in the party who were trying to get a hang of her sanity. Nukid growled back at her as Haru and Scorpion ran with him into the kitchen. They set him down in a chair and leaned on the counters themselves. Nukid, Haru and Scorpion were silent then, all looking at once another.

" Okay, why do that? I had the upper hand," Nukid said. " Although DP would have killed me for trashing the HQ again, I'm sure that Janera would have gotten beaten."

" NO, she would have scarred you dude, and let's just say, we've been through our own shares of indignity . . ." Haru sighed.

Scorpion nodded," We, the Humiliated Dudes group, gotta stick together man."

" How have the both of YOU been humilia- oh yeah those pictures . . ." Nukid shivered.

Haru and Scorpion turned red and steamy. " Don't remind us . . ."

" Geez man . . . I'll ease up after we weasel outta here," Nukid said. " But thanks dude."

" Right," the two said.

Dairo walked past, carrying a punch covered white robe and dressed as Kaname Tosen. " Don't ask, don't say a word, I got this . . . and whatevah ya'll do , do NOT tell Janera because then I'll be in bigger watah than I already am . . . "

There was an awkward silence between the three as Haru then said," I thought the costumes were dry clean only . . ."

XXX

Rook was drinking his third glass of punch, groaning, as Trisha came over, dressed as Yoko and carrying a larger pistol to her hip. She put a hand on his shoulder and removed his glasses.

" Hey, calm down, Rook . . . go easy on the fruit punch," she said. " You've gotta relax . . . sure the Twister game was wrecked and a fight already broke out, but that dpoesn't mean the other members of the Metagang are gonna cause some other issues . . . "

" You don't have to babysit them . . ." Rook grumbled. " I swear they are more insane than anything I have ever met in my life . . . just spending even ONE minute in their presence is as bad as having my brain imploded by Deadpool, going through fourteen Bonfire Nights in a row, having Advent stab me in the brain, and to a lesser extent, fighting the Darksides alone in the dark without my clothes . . . I can't stand having to save them each and every time they do something idiotic and stupid . . . it's bad as watching Conan do a jig . . . if I have to save them from ONE MORE THING without this crappy mark that DJ's friend's uncle gave me, I'M GOONA-"

The Metagang was behind him.

Silence.

" Harsh dude . . ." Ookami said, glaring in her Orihime costume, Hollow style.

" Yeah . . . way to say it dude . . ." Tanuki growled.

" Jerk," Janera said.

" Nope, can't think of a word . . ." Haru said.

Dairo had a black eye of all things, and even he was glaring.

" Okay, look, it's the truth, okay? AS doesn't make it any easier, and I right anyone? Anyone?" Rook asked loudly.

" Sadly," D-Dude said.

Kitten nodded.

" Pain-ful," Air sighed.

" You get used to it," TL shrugged.

" Wow, lotta people here with it," Haru said, " And . . . guilty."

" Shut the front door dude," Rook said stunned.

" No lies."

" So am I," Janera and King said.

" Dude!" Kiva laughed. " Likewise . . ."

Rook was silent before saying," So . . . "

" We've gotten it before dude," Haru said. " Not your fault . . . just a matter of us being insane."

" Yeah, we kinda do that to people, even DP, no offence dude," King called over.

" None taken," DP smiled, dressed as Yami Yugi, even wearing the wig of his hair.

" What about Kitty?" Rook asked.

" Please don't drag me into this . . ." she shivered nearby.

The gang laughed along with the others as the party commenced.

Ranger nearby sipped his punch and said," I knew I shoudn't have spiked a punch bowl . . . so much for a calm evening . . ."

_Don't worry folks, the Fictors didn't get the bad punch . . . apologies to everyone! Stay tuned!_


	5. MistaKON Identity

_Here's the next one-shot! It's Mistaken Identity! I only own Kitten and the Metagang, so please no flames, please read and review, thank you!_

The San Diego Comic-con was bustling with several _Star Wars_, _Twilight_,_ Harry Potter_, video game and Otaku nerds, some dressed in normal clothes, come dressed as Storm Troopers, others as Harry Potter poorly and without the proper wand, while others were dressed insanely close to their favorite anime character and older college attending students were dressed in the same fashion, with few daring to cross-dress. Booths of almost every game or show ever premiered there were already set up as several thousands of dollars spent of merchandise hung all over. People were attending the seminars, the noise was chaotic, and even the smell was already driving people insane.

This was where the Author Fighters were making their big scene of the day, mainly because they had gotten tickets, but also because DP's presence was being requested as part of a large _Star Wars _3D presentation.

" Isn't this awesome?" Phoenix screamed, pumping her Keyblade into the air, dressed up as Axel of Organization XIII. " The epic scenery! The sweety posters and DVDs! The sheer nostalgia of it all!"

" Don't forget the bad smell," Quill gagged, dressed as Star Fox from the video game series of the same names, minus his wearing the mask of Star Fox. " It smells like someone barfed on a sweat sock and ended up bathing in skunk oil with goat breath."

" Actually, it just smells like wet sweat socks," Lunatic said walking along with them. He was dressed up as Anakin Skywalker, wearing a wig over his red and blue hair. " A BAD sweat sock . . . like my brother's."

" Funny, Loony, very funny . . . " TL growled walking past, dressed in his Rorscach costume from the Author's costume party. " Now, if you'll excuse me, I see a figure of Rorscach with my name on it- OUT OF THE WAY, JANGO FETT!"

Phoenix laughed and said," I think Goddess ran off to a FLCL exhibit."

" Hey, what DOES Fooly Cooly mean anyways?" Luantic asked confused.

The three stopped.

" Yeah, what does Fooly Cooly mean?" Quill asked, wondering. " I just always thought it was a Japanese term."

" Fooling around?" Phoenix asked.

" Fooly Cooly!" someone yelled passing by, laughing.

" Yeah, see? THAT guy may know what it means . . ." Lunatic said. He sighed and said," How do I have the feeling we forgot something?"

" Me too . . ." Quill wondered. " Something . . . small . . ."

" But what?" Phoenix groaned.

It donged on them.

" DANG IT!" they yelled at once.

XXX

Kitten was looking over a Hetalia wall scroll, dressed as Chibitalia. She was even carrying the pushbroom, twisting the handle in her hands and fidgeting, wondering ab out the details and the scroll itself. She looked both ways and was still shaking.

" I think the others ditched me . . . should I get this? . . . oh man I feel like I'm about to faint . . . someone has to know me here, right? . . . what if there's other things here I could ge- HEY!"

" We didn't ditch you . . . " Lunatic pulled her along.

" Yeah," Phoenix sighed. " You were so excited to come here yo uran out of the ship and ran right past into a crowd. "

" It's just the AS working into," Quill sighed. " Lord knows it's happened to me."

Kitten was crying silently then. " Thanks guys . . ."

" No prob," Phoenix laughed. " So, what should we do first?"

" I say we go to the video gaming tips seminar to improve our game," Quill laughed. " There's this one thing they're gonna show about how to get cheat codes cracked on your hard drives without being a hacker."

" There's an unveiling of the new Kingdom Hearts 3D game for the 3DS," Phoenix jumped excited. " They're even gonna let a select few test out the games! IT'LL ROCK!"

" I'm up for people watching from a bench, BEST way to get a laugh from some of these people dressed like geeks," Lunatic laughed.

The others glared nearby as they heard him.

" Um . . ."

Silence.

" Look!" Kitten yelled and pointed towards another area." It's Vic Mignogna singing the theme to DNAngel!"

The group ran over towards there quickly.

" Thanks . . ."

" Don't mention it. I' did the same thing to help the Metagang once, except for Hetalia and yaoi."

" OH brother . . ." Quill groaned walking off. " I'm checking out those video games . . ."

" See ya later, I'm looking at the Kingdom hearts stuff," Phoenix laughed.

The rest of the group split up, going into different areas of the large and soon-to-be very confusing convention . . .

XXX

Quill whistled at the sheer size of the video game area, where there were several kids and teens, and even a few adults, playing out the newest video games, laughing and sharing odd stories of their baming expriences, past cons, and the decorations were shining from above and on the walls.

" This con gets better and better receptionism every year . . . I'd be amazed if they had a dealer room for stuff like this nearby," he said passing by a Storm Trooper playing Pic-men.

He walked past a group of people dressed like Higurashi characters, who were acting out a scene from Watanagashi-hen, and spotted something . . . odd . . .

" What the hell? Dawn? That you?"

He walked towards a person standing near a 360 in a glass case, that looked like Dawn from the back, right down to her hair and jeans. Even the marks on her skin were nearly identical.

" Dawn, I thought you were here with- JESUS CHRIST!"

" Jerk!" the girl turned around, revealing glasses and braces, which were adding a lisp to her voice. Up closer, she was also a foot shorter than Dawn was. " I'm just cosplaying as MistressOfDawn!"

Quill stepped back. " I am SO sorry . . . I thought you were Dawn for a second . . . "

" Fat chance, though I wish I was . . . she's so awesome!" the girl giggled, then turned and glared at Quill. " How do YOU know her, huh? Fanclub? Database? Online doushinjis?"

" Whoa, no, no and- wait, there are those of the Authors now?"

" Duh . . ."

" Dang it . . . still, I'm gone," Quill ran off yelling," Sorry!"

The girl shrugged and went back to looking at the 360.

" FOOLY COOLY!" the same guy ran past yelling, now riding a Vespa of the same color as Haruka Haruhara's.

The girl turned.

" . . . What now?"

XXX

Lunatic was laughing, sitting down on a bench and sipping a shake. Nearby cosplayers and normally dressed people were passing by, talking amongst themselves, either not noticing the chuckling insane teen, or just flat out ignoring him. He sucked on the shake and spotted an Arrancar walking past.

" Just going to help out Aizen with a bat-sheesh insane plan!" he laughed. " Then I'll tear apart another 'experiment'."

A woman dressed as Monkey D. Luffy then walked past, carrying a large plush Pikachu walked to the right of him waving.

" I'm gonna use my Gum-Gum Rocket and use my Pika-power to defeat evils!" Loony laughed and fell over, almost spilling his shake.

A witchling Doremi walked past.

" Hm . . . where should I go with this . . . oh man, I got nothing . . ." he sighed.

He sucked on his shake again as he got up and walked past a few booths where people were selling doushinji mangas. He sighed and threw his empty cup into a wastebin, looking around and laughing as he saw two people fight over a limited edition _Sailor Moon _comic book with art pages. He shook his head.

" Sometimes you just don't know what people are gonna- OH MY GOD!" he ran off towards a booth.

There, sitting in the booth, was a _Super Smash Bros_. Brawl Game-Guide, with cheats on how to play the game online and wireless, character guides, and limited edition interviews with the game creators and special characteristics of the game they placed into it, signed by the director himself, Masahiro Sakurai. He pressed his face against the case it was being kept in at the booth. He looked up at the seller.

" How much, dude?" he shivered.

" For that rare piece?" he asked, then laughed and said," At retail in a normal place? Over a hundred, but for this con and on the first day? . . . Twenty bucks."

Loony smirked and said," So-"

" Sold!" a voice said next to him.

" Who the Davy Jo-OH MAN, AIR!"

Loony shivered as he saw Airnaruto right beside him. His outfit seemed different as he purchased the gameguide. His hair seemed less spikey, his outfit of the normal attire was looking more . . . fake, especially his shoulder wrap, which was gone, and he looked more and more like the normal Naruto than Air did. Lunatic blinked and poked his shoulder more than once.

" Hey, Air? Air, Air, Air . . . " he said over and over again, the person getting mroe and more irritated.

" WHAT?" the guy finally yelled. " I'M NOT AIR! My name's Jake dude . . ."

Loony looked him up and down, asking at last," Then, why do you LOOK like my master?"

" . . . " Master? Hecks no, I'm Naruto for this thing," Jake said.

Lunatic blinked and said," Then why's your hair brown? Naruto's a blonde . . ."

" Can't you mix it up like this and still call yourself Naruto?" Jake asked.

Silence.

" No, no you can not," Lunatic said.

Jake sighed.

" Dude . . . I'm gone."

" Can I get the gameguide?"

" GET LOST!"

" FOOLY COOLY!" the Vespa riding guy passed by again.

Silence.

The two looked at the vanishing man, blinking never. Jake stuffed the game-guide into his bag and asked," What does that even mean?"

" See, even I DO NOT get it . . ."

XXX

Wildrook groaned as he sat down on a chair, looking around at people passing by. He graned, having a major headache. he turned his head to look to the side, seeing a few Kamen Rider DVDs and CDs of the series, dating back to several decades ago when it was a lot bigger. There was also a figurine of Kamen Rider Den-O in original packaging, and it was autographed by the creator of the entire series. There was also the entire manga set of _Gurren Lagann. _

He removed the Kamina shades of his costume and sighed.

" Man, this is one big thing, but I can't shake the feeling that something's just gonna freak me out or make me go further down the path to insanity . . . " he scanned the area, then gulped. " -sorry, man! Ju-"

" I know dude, talkin' to yourself . . . nutso . . ." said a Stormtrooper walking by carrying a Hello Kitty doll.

Rook blinked as he left, then snickered. " Says him . . ."

He leaned back and said," Still can't shake the feeling that . . . OH damn it all . . . "

Rook glanced to his left and saw back of a familiar blonde, who was oddly wearing a red shirt, a frog necklace, jeans, and talking to a girl who was a few inches shorter than him with green hair, a tail, and laughing and lightly puching him. Rook growled and got up, tapping shoulder.

" Yo, why the HELL are you he- HOLY MOLY! Oh my God . . ."

" Dude, what the hell?" the guy turned, revealing a NOT so familiar face, which had a large mole on it. " Wait, do I know you?"

" No, no you do not . . ." Rook walked off. " My bad!"

" What? WHAT! Come back here and face me, Kamen Rider Lover!"

" I thought you were a guy I knew who was annoying as a fucking manic . . . " Rook groaned. " God Ranger . . . you suck."

(Meanwhile)

Ranger sneezed, wearing his normal outfit as DP was giving a speech to a room FULL of Star Wars fans. He looked back and forth.

" Must have been some rabid fangirl I shot earlier . . ."

(Back to Rook)

He sighed and said," This is some crazy convention . . ."

The Vespa rolled past, the man on it laughing as he spilled liquid from a cup.

" FLCL . . ." Rook snorted.

XXX

At a food pavilion inside the building, the group had regathered. They were exausted of energy, fuel, and for some reason, one of them was exausted of having a migraine. Rook was holding an ice-pack to his head as Quill was looking at his Gurren Lagann volumes.

" How'd you find the whole set?"

" Got a good deal . . . if anything, fans will do ANYTHING for volume number 10."

" After I got out of the Kingdom Hearts room, people recognized me and I was taking pictures for the next half hour," Phoenix said fanning herself. " It was AWESOME. Then I got Quinton Flynn's autograph and we snapped a photo together! That, and I got Birth by Sleep."

" Awesome," Lunatic said, his face painted like Kiva from Naruto. " I got this done, and I got a doushinji of Rorschach!"

He held it up, others at the table whistling at the details. Kitten blinked at it and said," That word there? You do know what that means, right?"

" Um . . . . no?"

" That word means Yaoi."

Lunatic turned bright red as the others were laughing, he then gagged and fell over in his chair, reaching up and grabbing the second shake he had gotten. The others were still laughing, even Kitten, who had her mouth covered. Quill sighed and shook his head. TL laughed as he got to the table.

" Wow man . . . " he said, setting down the Rorscach box with the figurine. " I got THIS bad boy for only seventeen bucks! Ha! Haggled a GOOD way!"

" Darn it all!" Lunatic yelled under the table.

" What'd you do, Kitty?" Phoenix asked her.

" I was just walking around and everyone snapped pictures of me, saying I looked a lot like the real Chibitalia," she smiled. " I also got a Hetalia wall-scroll and volume two!"

" Nice," she high fived her.

" Lucky . . ." TL huffed.

" I ended up mistaking someone for Dawn," Quill said.

The others blinked.

" Wow, I thought someone was Air!" Lunatic said coming back up.

" You too?" Rook asked. " I mistook someone for that nuisance Haru!"

Kitten blinked. " Someone dressed as Holy Roman Empire gave me this," she said, showing a cute plushie of Chibitalia, holding the pushbroom.

" Cute, but you knew him?" Quill asked, confused.

" It felt like I did, but at the same time, I got nothing . . . he had his hat way over his face. I don't think I know him . . . "

" Meh, I think I know, but let's go get pizza," Rook shrugged.

As the group got up and was starting to walk off, a figure was huffing behind a fake palm tree. He was dressed as Holy Roman empire, red faced and full of emotion as he peeked over. He gulped and turned back several times, making sure he wasn't seen. He had black and red hair under his hat, African American skin, and he was shaking as he huffed again.

" Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man . . ." he said over and over.

" Dude, chill," Haru said, dressed as Naota from FLCL. " Marcus, just chill . . . way to follow my advice though!"

" Why are we here again?" Tanuki asked, dressed as the rain spirit from xxxHolic.

" Because, we're part of the Chekov's Gag," Janera said, dressed as Deadpool.

The dude on the Vespa then hit the wall as he passed by Janera, yelling " FOOLEY COOLEY!"

" What DOES that mean?" Marcus asked.

" To fondle a girl's breasts," the whole Metagang said.

_With apologies to everyone._


	6. Hetalia: The Roleplay

_Here's a wicked funny one-shot! For those who haven't seen Hetalia, ask me, TL, Marcus, Roo, HIkari, and Rin. For those who know what I mean, then good for you. I only own Kitten and the Metagang and no one else, so please read, review and no flames. Thank you!_

Thunder boomed in LA as rain poured down like cats and dogs. The streets had rain flowing out towards each gutter and each home was locked up tight. Cars were barely moving in the streets as the public transportation was somehow still mobile. The dark clouds hung overhead as lightning was flashing every few minutes, and the lights were buzzing on and off from the power-compnay having a few power lights down. The grasses had water all over, and even the Author Fighters HQ was being drentched and darkened.

At a window in the living room sat Kitten, Edge, Moa, and Advent.

The four sighed as more rain poured down, thunder booming in sync with them.

TL was watching a show on the TV when he looked back over his shoulder for what seemed like the 14th time. He blinked and shook his head as Quill stepped in, noticing the four looking more miserable.

" Why so down in the dumps, you guys?" he asked.

" Because of the rain," they said in sync.

" Wow, we sounded like the Metagang there for a sec," Kitten giggled.

" Who said the Metagang?" Rook asked, stepping quickly.

The others laughed minorly as he groaned and plopped on the couch. He sat up as TL patted his back, still laughing.

He moaned," PLEASE don't laugh . . . YOU try spending a week with them . . . pain-ful."

" Keeping that in mind . . ." Quill said. " So, because fo the rain, you're disappionted, and that's because your plans for the day were washed away with the rain?"

" Man you catch up quick," Advent said shocked, jaw dropping.

Quill smirked. " AS, dude, AS . . . that, and I heard that all before."

He sat down as they sighed again.

" I planned out a HUGE massacre to Jashin today . . . rain just makes the blood and bones run . . ." Advent sighed.

" I was gonna mess up his Jashin tribute . . ." Edge sighed.

" I was gonna go to an out-door sale today with Phoenix, and they were gonna be selling a TON of awesome things . . . along with great books and stuff like that . . . This rain cancelled it and rained it out to next week . . ." Kitten sighed.

" Play with DJ, moa moa moa . . ." Moa groaned.

TL was then laughing again, actually falling off of the couch as Rook was flabbergasted at what he was watching. The thunder sounded again as more rain just pounded on the building and on the windows. The four kids sank low and fell back on the floors, looking up at the ceiling. Rook rubbed his eyes and grabbed the remote.

" WHAT did the white-haired guy do just then? And why does he sound like Jerry Jewell?"

Quill sighed and helped the four up, pinching a nerve as they slid back down on their backs again. He closed the curtains and looked back at them. " Okay, since it's obvious you four are gonna wait the rain out like bored people, let me go ahead and be the first to tell you that you guys can just use your imaginations indoors today, and try something fun."

" What then?" Edge asked. " The internet's down because of the power fluxes and I can't torture Advent here!"

" WATCH IT!" Advent yelled, standing up with him and pulling out a scythe.

" Enough!" Kitten got inbetween then, arms bracing a space.

" Bored, moa," Moa said, walking out of the room, arms sagging.

Edge and Advent followed, running out.

Kitten sighed and said still low," What can we do without causing too much damage?"

" NOT invite the Metagang?" Rook asked.

Quill and TL laughed as he said it, TL laughing more about the show on TV. Rook busted out laughing at the show as well, which was now showing a small 'girl' in white running from a small blonde boy yelling a familiar phrase. Quill sputtered a laugh from it as Kitten blinked, recognizing it immediately. Her eyes sparkled as an idea came to her head. Quill walked out of the living room as Rook and TL kept laughing. Kitten sand back to her knees in a thinking motion.

She slowly smiled.

" Use imagination . . . Hey TL! Rook! "

XXX

A large bolt of lightning zoomed across the sky at ten on the dot, zapping a large pole. It fell quickly and was blasted down onto some poor sucker's new Sedan.

The lights around the area began to go out quickly from the lack of power-flow.

XXX

Phoenix was reading a new book, which was A Game of Thrones. She was intently reading as she flipped the page to a VERY LARGE LIFE-DETERMING CLIMA-

ZIRP!

The lights flickered out.

" SON OF A WOOKIE!"

XXX

DP was mixing together a potion as he was reading the book, and grabbed a potion bottle when -

ZIRP!

There was a crash in the dark.

" Why is THIS a time when I'm not too shocked about this now? . . . " he sighed and stepped out of his room, seeing nothing but darkness. " I better assemble the team together in the foyer until the power gets back on . . ."

XXX

Slpytlak, a young adult red scaled dragoness, also known to everyone as Shelby, was looking in the mirror, brushing her teeth after a shower, already dressed. She smiled as the light reflected from her teeth and stood back.

" Now THAT is great!"

The lights went out at that moment.

" THAT was NOT great!"

There was stomping as she left the bathroom.

" Loony better not be messing with the lights again . . ."

XXX

The rest of the Author Fighters made their way to the foyer, which was their own decided on storm-plan for when the storm was powerful enough to knock out the lights and the power. They poured out from the steps and stopped in their tracks as they saw Kitten standing a few feet from the door of the HQ, a dry-erase board behind her and candles lit about the room. She was also clad oddly: she was wearing a green dress with a white apron over it, small boots, and her white hair was bundled into a green and white bandana over her head, and a small curled up hair was on her head.

" Hello-o everyone!" she raised a hand up high to wave. " Isn't this a great sight?"

" What, seeing you in front of a white board by candlelight? Not really," D-Dude said shaking his head.

" Yeah, Kitten, what gives?" X asked.

TL walked over, wearing glasses, an airmen's jacket, and jeans, along with having his spines in a new fashion. Rook stepped out, looking frustrated, and him wearing a mini-blue cape with the same colored pants and army outfit with his hair done in a long fashion and fake whiskers drawn onto his face were NOT helping the situation, nor his mood. It was those things exactly that were causing his sour mood. The other Authors laughed seeing them.

" Oh-Oh man, that is BAD!" Advent slank back and laughed.

" Just go ahead and grow a mustache, then let a little kid into your van, Rook!" Phoenix laughed.

" I didn't dress like this on purpose . . . their idea," he pointed to TL and Kitty.

" Alright, I'll bite, what's the idea?" DP asked walking forward.

" Well, I was bored beforehand," Kitty said.

" And I was watching Hetalia," TL said.

" Then Quill came in and told Advent, Edge, Moa and I that we needed to use our imaginations on a day like this," she said smiling.

" AND I was watching hetalia at the time, and yeah, this is important," TL said.

" So, I got an idea and TL, Rook and I helped to make that a reality!" she clapped.

" And the idea is?" Ranger asked.

" We're gonna have a Hetalia war!" TL said punching the air. " AND I'M THE HERO!"

Kitten giggled as Rook huffed.

Everyone was silent as the storm brewed outside.

" What?" Dawn asked.

" Let me explain," TL said, moving in front of Kitten, who was trying to wave behind him. " Hetalia is a combo of 'hetare', in Japanese which means 'useless' and 'italia' which means Italy, and combined with world history and anime typical stuffs, and WHAM! Hetalia!"

Kitten got out from behind him and said," What TL said. . . "

The silence was still on-going.

" We basically planned a fake war inside the HQ throughout the floors and rooms with candle-light," Rook sighed explaining. " There are no cover-areas, although the foyer and the bathrooms are Neutral Territory Zones. No real weapons that can cause damage, and no physical violence unless someone starts to punch someone else, then it's self-defence. There are teams of each set of countries and each team has to capture the most other teams, go in character, yadda yadda yadda- I just felt like I took crack when I watched the show . . . although the idea was great."

" I kinda like it," Air said. " Beats sitting in the dark like a wolf."

" I was reading, so once this is over, I'm going back to the big conclusion in 'A Game of Thrones'," Phoenix said.

" Want me to tell you?" Tal and Nukid asked at once, smirking.

" FAT CHANCE!"

Kitty giggled and said," Well, the game's over when the power comes back on and when the rain stops. I have character sheets and costumes for each character for everyone here today."

" How'd you get those costumes so fast anyways?" Rook asked her confused.

" I borrowed them from Janera via portal," Kitten said passing them out to everyone. " She understood the circumstance when I told her. Alright, Loony, D-Dude, you both are Russia and Austria evenly."

" Sweet! I get the awesome country!" Lunatic laughed.

" Huh," D-Dude said taking the costume.

" DP is North Italy, Quill is Japan and Ranger is Germany," Kitty said.

" I'm the Nazi in this mess?" Ranger growled.

" You can also carry your gun . . ."

" Sold."

" You three will be known as The Axis. The allies are Rook, who is France, Lunatic, who is Russia, TL who is America, and the other two are . . . " she looked ad her sheets," Phoenix and X, WHO are, respectively, China and Britain."

" My home country, sweet," X took his costume.

" I'm the Asian country? Why not Korea?" Phoenix asked.

Kitten and TL looked down. " A bomb threat ended his chance on the anime," they said in sync.

" Wow," Dawn said. " For some reason . . . I'm not shocked . . ."

" Next, are the Northernmost countries of Europe, and some of the funniest by my accounts," Kitten said. " Denmark is Nukid, Finland and Sweden are Shelby and Jose, same order do not get that mistaken, Iceland is Ross and Norway is TSS."

" Huh, cute costume!" Shelby said taking her costume. " Love the hat!"

" And, Finland and Sweden are viewed in fandoms as a couple!" smiled.

" Couple?" Shelby and Jose blushed at once.

" Yep," Kitten smiled.

" Alright," Rook sighed taking the sheets," If anything, let's move on to the Brother-Sister Eastern nations, Liechtenstein and Switzerland, who are . . . " he checked the names and shook hsi head saying," Man this is gonna end badly, Goddess and Airnaruto."

" OH snap," Air groaned taking his costume. " Hopefully, she's not as insane as Loony, no offence."

" None taken, Sensei!" Loony saluted.

" Next, South-western European countries and islands," TL took the sheets from him as Kitty was trying to get them back. " Spain is Tal Ordo, South Italy is Kiva, Belgium is ErinBubble and Seychelles is Alyssa."

The four got their costumes quickly, Erin and Alyssa laughing that they were on the same team.

" I may need a fill-in here . . ." Tal said.

" You get to play guitar, be popular, and control South Italy," TL said. " And by proxy, South Italy is an . . . angry dude who hates Germany and always tries to take him down."

" Now THAT I like," Kiva smirked and quickly put on his costume.

" Next are the Baltic nations," Kitten said taking the sheets back. She coughed and said," Estonia is Angelic Soldier, Lithuania is Tech, Poland is Ucha and Latvia is Xemnas1992."

The four got theor costumes quickly.

" I don't like the shirt much, so can I just add a little more flair to it?" Ucha Nekome asked.

Kitten nodded. " Just not too much . . . if these costumes are burned or tampered with in any way, I owe Janera a LOT of money."

Rook swiped the sheets from her and said the next thing on it. " Next, Belarius and Ukraine are Rin and Dawn."

" . . ." Rin was silent as she got her costume.

" Fine by me, just hoping I don't break my leg," Dawn said taking her costume.

" Greece and Turkey," Rook continued as TL reached over," are Edge and Advent."

" I get Trukey's mask?" Advent asked taking Turkey's costume.

" Why us as that?" Edge asked, a small kitty walking towards him.

" You guys keep the rivalry," Kitten picked up the small kitty, " and you get over your fear of cats!"

The cat mewed at Edge as he shuddered, nodded and taking the small creature, then shuffling off as he glared at Advent. Advent glared back.

" Next," TL laughed swiping the sheets," Cuba is Jean Kazuhiza and the Holy Roman Empire is DIBRAVE."

The two of the got their costumes, Jean looking at his closer.

" A Hawaiian vest and a pair of jeans? Weird," Jean said.

Marcus pulled up a black hat with a yellow trim and placed it on his head. " You're telling me . . . "

" Next are- HEY!" TL said but Rook took the sheets back from him.

" Man, I cannot stand that . . ." Rook said, groaning and reading the sheet. " Next, Moa is Sealand and the next three people are the Middle European Countries: Prussia is Liberi and Hungary is HIkari Ino, with D-Dude as Austria to tie them up."

Moa took the cute sailor suit as Hikari took the dress.

The group was now dressed, and some were laughing at what other crazy costumes the others were wearing, along with hairstyles and weapons they were being given by Kitten from her friend. Rook was looking in a mirror by the candles to try and rub off the markered whiskers. He sighed as he was proven futile in his efforts. Phantos walked up to TL, looking a bit depressed, then opened his mouth to speak.

" Oh, we didn't forget about you, Phantos," TL said handing him his costume. " You're Canada, so don't worry if people pass by you, that just means no one notices you is all."

" Whaaaaa-"

" Hey guys!" Lunatic laughed putting a large pipe down on the floor. " Check out the size of my huge lead pipe!"

" No comment," Air sighed as he held a fake pistol, everyone else laughing.

The group was silent as the thunder boomed again, Kitten coughing.

" And I am Chibitalia, the younger version of North italy and also verbal and physical punching bag of the countries!" she said, arm still up.

" We do not use you as a punching bag . . ." Dawn said, arms crossed, now wearing Ukraine's costume.

" No, but the overall personality kind of suits me," she shrugged. " Now then everyone! Here are the rules! Everyone stays in character and no one gets hurt physi-"

" I think I went over much of it, Kitty," Rook sighed.

Kitty blushed and kicked her foot," Sorry . . . just making sure everyone heard . . ."

" Now then, teams are up, and . . . on your marks, get se-"

Everyone scattered.

" THE WAR HAS BEGUN!" TL yelled laughing off with the Allies.

XXX

DP was moving his curled hair out of his way as he, Ranger and Quill walked down a hallway armed and ready for an ambush by one of the other teams. Ranger had his gun out, safety off, and ready to shoot. Quill had his pistol out, adjusting his Japan costume shirt. A window revealed the darkness of outside and how the rain was still coming down hard.

" This whole fake war thing would have been a LOT more fun minus these costumes, and DP what the hell are you doing?" Ranger asked, stopping as DP did.

" This stupid hair curl . . ." he sighed sadly. " It's messed up . . . WHY on God's Green Earth should Italy have THIS?"

He pointed to the curl, the other two blinking. Ranger pulled hard on the curl, looking blank as usual.

" You mean this?"

DP was looking flushed and teary-eyed as the pain turned into . . . an erogenous zone.

" Uh, Ranger? You may wanna stop that," Quill pulled him off, seeing the reactions, but Ranger was literally steaming them.

" LET ME AT IT! I'M GONNA RIP THAT THING O-"

There were two sets of quickening footsteps behind them.

" Someone's coming!" Ranger said, then broke free of Quill's grasp and pulled out his gun, laughing. " Bring it on . . ."

" I'm gonna hide!" DP yelped.

" Likewise!" Quill and DP shivered and pulled Ranger with them into a nearby closet.

The footsteps passed by as someone yelled," GET BACK HERE!" The three peeked out and saw it was Jean, dressed as Cuba, chasing after Phantos, calling at him to stop. Phantos was yelling back about something involving Maple Leaf and Hocky, a polar bear in his arms. They turned the corner and vanished.

Silence, aside from the rain.

" That . . . was weird . . ." Quill said.

" Yeah . . . so where was I with that stupid curl?" Ranger asked.

" DON'T!" DP yelled, freaking out. " IT'S AN EROGENOUS ZONE! HELL NO!"

XXX

Goddess and Air were walking side by side in the halls of the third floor, looking for a place to hide. The thunder was booming as the rain was pounding, and it was obvious that the candles provided very little sufficient light. Goddess shivered by Air, who was looking around.

" I'm bugging out . . ." she whispered, shaking like a leaf. " I just hope we don't get busted here . . . "

" Don't worry," Air said to her, turning her way. " I'm not gonna let any other team get us . . . I'm also scouting out a willing ally right now, but I don't think anyone else is here right now."

The area was silent as Air looked into a doored room.

It was dark inside and not lit with candles.

" I-I'm not g-g-g-go-going in there . . ." Goddess clung to him quickly. " I wish Phoenix was here!"

" Calm down, Goddess," Air said. " Consider me your bigger brother until the game's over."

They walked in and sat down on the floor as Air closed the door, lightning booming as footsteps and shouts were heard from the floor on the second floor. Goddes was clinging to Air, who was holding her. The two suddenly froze as a third figure moved around in the dark, hearing them

" Alright, bub, I don't knwo who you are, but WHOEVER YOU ARE-" Air started, charging up a blast in his left hand.

" IT'S ME PHANTOS!"

Phantos was waving his arms in the dark with them, Air stopped and sighing in embarrassment.

" Oh, thank GOD . . ."

Silence.

Rain.

" Who are you again?" Goddess asked.

" I'm Canada . . . "

Silence.

" Wanna be allies?"

XXX

Temhota Tech And Angelic Soldier were walking alongside Ucha and Xemnas, looking around in the near-complete darkness. The rain was still pouring down hard as a clock on the wall read eleven. The fake war was going on an hour strong, and everyone was already on their heels, awaiting an ambush in the dark. The Baltic Nations were beginning to quiver like their cosplay selves.

" This is freaking me out . . . and my namesake is for Darkness," Tech said, shaking as Ucha grabbed his hand.

" You're cool, dude!" she smiled. " NO WAY would someone jump US!"

" You are really confident on winning this, aren't you?" Angelic Soldier asked her, looking behind him.

" Yep!" Ucha said, fire in her eyes. " You're allied with GOD himself, so there's no WAY we can lose!"

" It . . . It doesn't work that way, Ucha . . ." Soldier said. " I may be a servant of God himself, but that does not mean I can abuse my own powers to twist fate for some silly game in the dark . . ."

" Awwwww . . ." she said, then perked up and said," Well, I still say we can do this! I invoke Poland's Rule! We win!"

" I don't think you can do that either," Xemnas said, looking and smelling ahead, but smiled back and said," Nice use of character though."

" Thanks!"

Tech was shaking and shoved himself away, saying," You're confident, I'm not . . . my sheet said that I was a person of weak nature, and I am . . ."

" Not literally, dude," Soldier said going and patting his back. You're strong, and through our strength combined, By GOD we shall overcome!"

" Nice mini-speech," Xemnas said, then stopped and unlashed his claws. " I smell someone coming . . ."

" WHO? WHO! WHO?" Ucha asked running up ahead.

She bumped into someone, no where near candle-light. She glanced up as Xemnas, Soldier and Tech stepped back slowly. She blinked as she saw a largely built body, which was gray and had VERY large black eyes, like ovals flipped into a 90 degree angle, like . . . alien eyes . . . She stepped back and looked closer, the lightning flashing, revealing a large gray-skinned and muscular alien, who looked a LOT like America's alien pal-Tony.

Sadly . . . this was not Tony.

Ucha opened her mouth, but promptly closed it and stepped back besides Tech.

" Run," Soldier yelled.

The four ran screaming down the hallway as the alien chased after them. They darted into a room and locked the door. Quick steps and odd music floated from the door as they vanished immediately. The four panted and panted, huddling together as the rain kept on pouring.

" HOLY crap what WAS that thing?" Xemnas freaked. " I thought it was okay with the Fictor brothers, Lucky and myself being aliens, but NOT that freaky thing!"

" I'm scared, hold me!" Ucha yelped and jumped into Soldier's arms.

Soldier blushed in the dark and said," Um, glad I could add some help . . ."

" Whatever it was, I think we're safe from it now . . ." Tech sighed.

" Yeah," they said and sighed happily.

There was a sudden candle lit in the room then.

" Um, wh-who's there?"

A face appeared, scary-looking against the light, with a triangle mark under his eye and spiky hair in the dark that edged up, making him look like a monster.

The four screamed bloody murder.

XXX

TL was in the fourth floor bathroom with Rook, Phoenix and X. They were going over a game-plan for attacking the Axis and others who came across their paths. There was screaming heard above them and running heard below them, so there was obviously more game-playing that was going on. A clock on the wall read approximately 11:30, nearing lunchtime and almost spanning two hours into their 'game'. TL was explaining the game plan to the others.

" Alright, so, here's the plan guys! It's called Plan Alpha, like Alpha Dog, ruff!" TL said. " I used your characters and yourselves to go along with this!"

The others were in attention.

" Britian goes in Suicidal with your Charge of the Light-Brigade!"

" Remind me to kill you once this is over, TL . . ." X said annoyed.

" France give up without a struggle!"

Rook growled and nodded," Aye aye, captain . . . man I wish I was with Trisha and the girls right now . . ."

" Girls?" Phoenix asked.

" NEVERMIND!"

" And China will keep sending the cannon fodder and food!" TL said.

" HOLD it, dude! What are YOU gonna be doing?" Phoenix asked, getting irritated.

" Glad you asked . . ." TL said, then posed and flashed his teeth with a thumb's up. " I'M THE HERO!"

The three were silent as TL sweatdropped.

" I know, It's weak . . ." Tl sighed then hopped off of the bathtub wall. " Just roll with it. Speaking of which where's my bro?"

" I think he said something about taking a leak in another bathroom," Rook said.

" But that was over fourty minutes ago," X said.

TL walked over and opened the door, revealing a smiling Lunatic, who had a roped up group of the Baltic nations. He was smiling and holding a candle, rope in the other hand. Tech was crying silently as Soldier was glaring at him and writing a swear in each line of paper he was using towards Lunatic. Ucha was shaking and Xemnas had a fist on his head

" Hey guys! Check out who I captured!"

" Alright, little bro!" TL laughed, _' ALTHOUGH MY PERFECT PLAN FOR BEING THE HERO WAS TRASHED COMPLETLEY!'_

Phoenix and X walked out of the bathroom with Rook and TL, rejoining with Loony.

" Lunatic, you got all four of them? Sweet! Now we can move along and win this game!" Phoenix clentched her fist.

" Yeah, just watch out for that creepy alien!" Ucha screamed.

" What alien?" Rook asked.

Thunder boomed.

" Bad omen," X said as they walked along.

" What?" TL laughed. " You can';t make your fairy tale friends appear when you want to, Britain?"

" Don't push it."

" Whatever, I say the next people we go after are the bigger three!" TL said. " Let's get the Axis Powers!"

XXX

Nukid, Ross and TSS were sneaking along a wall, looking around the corner. Nukid nodded and the group went along. Jose and Shelby were holding hands as they ran around with the other three to the same sides. There were other footsteps as they readied their weapons.

" ON my mark," TSS whispered.

" Right," Shelby said, unlashing her claws.

The two individual groups jumped out at each other, freaking and screaming in a few places.

" Clam down, it's us!" Hikari said, waving her hands in a defensive motion. " It's me, HIkari! And D-Dude-san and Liberi-san!"

The groups of five and three calmed down quickly, seeing the others in a quicker position. They all sighed at once.

" Man, this game's making me get jumpy!" Nukid said. " I thought you guys were ghosts or something . . . sorry, mates."

" It's cool," Liberi said, gun out. " This game's helping to increase stamina, and since the Allies are the goal, it's also good target practice. Aside from the fact I accidentally fired into someone's room when we spotted Kitty being chased by DIBRAVE yelling 'Join the Roman Empire', or something like that . . . whatever, this is kinda fun when you get used to it."

" Not for me," Shelby said, shaking her head," It's bad enough that we hunt down the Darksides. Being on the opposite end of that's scaring the crap out of me!"

Jose held her and said," Hey, I'm here."

" I miss sempai . . ." HIkari sighed sadly.

D-Dude then said," I also smell something funky down here . . . someone-"

" Sorry, I get nervous quickly," Nukid laughed. " I AM Denma-"

He flopped over on the floor, asleep and snoring loudly. TSS slapped his head as Shelby and Jose sighed at once. Ross poked at NUkid with his foot as D-Dude, Hikari and Liberi smirked, realizing their lucky moment had come.

" Your leader's down . . ." they said.

" OH man we've been captured," Ross said, getting a Chaos Orb.

" Not without a FIGHT!" Jose said.

XXX

Kitten was sweeping the floor where a vase had fallen and shattered into pieces. She sweeped it up with a pushbroom, sighing. She glaned outside at the lighter colored sky and now pouring rain, sighing sadly. She picked up the dustpan and walked along, looking down.

" This is the third mess I found in the last ten minutes . . . not to mention the broken window from Air's blast and a hole in Advent's bedroom wall for some reason . . . no wonder he never lets anyone see inside his room . . . maybe this was a bad idea . . ."

There were footsteps as she jumped, shaking again.

" Oh man . . . not again . . . " she shivered and got against the wall.

A person slid into the hallway she was in, panting and shaking, dripping with sweat.

" Rin! Boy am I glad to see you," Kitty sighed happily, crying rivers.

" Kitty, I'm glad to see you two," she huffed. " I was jsut running from this freaky alien thing here!"

" Alien?"

" Nevermind, can I get out of this game? I just want to read," she said sighing and sitting down.

" Aww . . . but I wanted us all to just have fun together as a family . . ." Kitty said, then blushed and gulped saying," THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

" Oh shoot no, I know what you meant . . ." Rin smiled and said," I know exactly what you mean."

Kitten smiled and said," I have an idea. Why not swap clothes with me? I'm considered a nonexistant nation, so all you have to do is run away from Mar-I mean, Holy Roman Empire whenever he sees you. And you have to pick up the pieces of things that got broken on accident. I can take over the Belarius cosplay role and be with Dawn for a while. How's that?"

" Sounds good to me," she said smirking.

The two walked into a bathroom and after a few minutes, came out wearing separate costumes, but Kitten still had her hair braided.

" So, why do you still have your hair in a braid if Belarius has long hair down?" Rin asked, adjusting the boots.

" Because, it'll trip someone, and I don't want to hurt anyone," she said.

" Ah," Rin said.

The two shook hands.

" When we meet back up, we change costumes," Rin said.

Kitty nodded and ran back around the corner. Rin sighed and picked up the pushbroom and dust-pan, walking off in the other area.

XXX

Kitten kept running through the lit corridors and hallways, turning into another few hallways when she heard the squeaks of footsteps ahead and above her. She stopped and walked back into a lit bathroom sighing. She sat down on a small chair as thunder boomed. She closed the door and held onto the knob, fear suddenly overwhelming her. She blinked as she heard steps outside. She slowly turned the doorknob, hearing breathing from the other side . . .

Two female screams were heard up to the third floor faintly.

" OH man . . ." Dawn freaked, holding Ukraine's rake. " Kitty, it's you . . . um, why are you wearing Belarius' outfit? Isn't Rin supposed to be wearing it?"

" Rin and I swapped costumes," she said shaking off.

The two walked along, the thunder and rain still pounding.

" So, anyone try to ambush you and Rin yet?"

" Not as of yet," Dawn smirked," and with the others on the second floor right now, we may be at a disadvantage."

There was a small silence between them.

" So, who're we going after first?" Kitten asked Dawn.

" The Allies first, then the Axis," Dawn said," and I read Rin'e sheet, so you're gonna be our secret weapon against Loony."

Kitten was silent and blushed over, shaking as well. She knew very well what Belarus was to Russia, and what he was to her.

" I'm already over him, I-I can't do that!"

" I know, but this is gonna be a technical torture for him," Dawn said pulling Kitty along, smirking, " I mean, come on . . . Lunatic's an insane dude who broke your heart, and you were tortured for months afterwards, so maybe . . . this can be revenge on him and then you can move along with your life?"

" Is that what happened between you Nukid when Jiro-?"

" Drop that, alright? I'm still ticked about him going through my room," she growled.

" Likewise . . ."

XXX

" I'm TELLING you, THAT way was where the alien nearly KILLED US!" Edge yelled. " We have to go back downstairs!"

" NO no no," Advent growled behind Turkey's mask. " I'm telling YOU, you terrible calcified CUB! THAT was was the alien, THIS way is downstairs . . ."

" FAT chance, as fat as YOU!" Edge yelled.

" YOU SUCK!" Advent yelled at him.

The two argued as they kept walking, then Advent shivered. Edge noticed as the kitten on his shoulder mewed cutely.

" Huh, what's going on?" Edge asked.

" I-I just felt a sudden freak force . . . like someone's slowly losing it and they're taking it out on someone else . . ." Advent shivered. He flatly looked up and said," Sounds more like Rook and the Metagang."

" WHO SAID METAGANG?" he opened a door, revealing himself and his France costume, " Ah frak . . ."

The others walked out of the room in a line: TL, growling, Phoenix, who was scowling, X who was sighing as usual and Rook left and closed the door. TL was still holding onto the baltic nations: Tech and Ucha were shaking, Xemnas was trying to scratch his ear, which was flipping back and forth, and Soldier was cursing under his breath, in a heavenly monotone, about the revenge he wopuld put Lunatic through for capturing them like so.

" Huh, hey guys," Edge said.

" This did NOT happen in WWII," Rook said.

" No duh," the others said.

" Where's Loons?" Advent asked looking around.

" He said he was somewhere . . . hopefully, he didn't run into trouble," TL said shrugging.

" He's RUSSIA," Phoenix said shaking her head. " WHAT kind of trouble can he get into without us?"

XXX

Lunatic was hiding behind a bed in a room, shaking as the door was being pounded on. He was trembling a lot, looking out of the corner of his eyes at the door, which was being pounded on more than once each second. He was trying not to breath, using a ninja's logic to avoid being caught by the ONE thing Russia, his favorite of all characters of Hetalia, was afraid of . . . which he was slowly becoming afraid of . . .

" Big Brother! Big BROTHER!" a familiar young voice called from behind the pounds. " Come on! Let's become one!"

He gulped and shivered, arms around his legs and the scarf around his neck shivering with him.

" You know you want to! Why do you have to be such a JERK ALL THE TIME?"

There was actual malice in Kitten's voice as she continued the act of Belarus. Lunatic was about to wet himself as he heard grinding on the door.

Outside, Kitten had unlashed her claws and growled as she scraped the door to _literally _claw it apart, her face hidden as she was only seen peeling wood away on large scrapes of the door. Her height was making it hard for her to claw higher, but she was managing to leave a mark.

" Open this damn door this instant, big brother . . . " she said in a low voice, darkness in it as she kept at it. " You and I are going to get togethere whether you LIKE it or NOT! Let me . . . . . . "

" GO AWAY!" Lunatic yelled crying inside.

Outside, on the corner, Edge and Advent were watching and wer gaping.

" Man, I almost feel sorry for the poor chap," Advent said, then suddenly fell onto his back laughing. " ALMOST! HAHAHAHAHAHAA! AL-MOST!"

Edge shook hsi head as Dawn was nearby.

" I think this revenge thing is working out great," Dawn smirked. " That, and after this, I think we can torture Nukid some."

" Still ticked?" edge asked.

" Yep."

" So am I."

The Allies were watching as well: TL groaned and laughed minorly as he said," Oh man my bro . . .", Phoenix fell on her back laughing, X laughed as well and wiped a tear from underneath his mask and Rook sighed as he said," She's going dark on us again . . .".

Phoenix stopped laughing as Kitten kept going, asking," How long are you gonna keep this u-"

A sudden lurching sound and tearing of wood was heard, the doorknob now being torn off of the door and into the same room where Lunatic was shaking. He was coming out from behind the bed, and saw the doorknob fall. He gulped and felt a shiver up his spine as he looked up shaking, seeing a dark figure in fine-detail wearing a bow in her hair standing in the door, devilish eyes and a darkened aura hanging about her and the door itself.

" Big brother . . . the doorknob that was keeping us apart is gone . . . isn't that niiiicccceeeee?" she said with sharp teeth, her eyes blaring. " Now, Big brother . . . . marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, MARRY ME!"

" GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!" Lunatic started to run out of the room, Kitten running after him with a dark aura pressing down.

" YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY ME BIG BROTHER!"

" GO AWAY! KITTY THIS IS NOT FUNNY!"

" SHUT UP BIG BROTHER!"

" SOMEONE HELP ME! THIS GAME ISN'T FUN ANYMORE!"

The others were laughing at the same time they were pitying Lunatic.

" Man, poor sucker," Edge laughed.

TL then raised a brow at Dawn as he looked at her chest, then back at her clothes, then back at her chest again. Dawn took quick notice of his eyes and cracked her knuckles.

" Why are you oggling me?"

" Because," TL asked," why are you Ukraine when you don't have collosal - SHUTTING UP!"

Dawn had a very tightened fist over his head. X laughed and high-fived Dawn at that moment. There was a dragging sound as Kitten came back, pulling Lunatic tied up and shaking still. She was back to normal and smiling, the rope tightly in her hand. The others laughed minorly as she kept smiling.

" I got him! The Allies our ours, Dawn!"

" WHOA what now?" TL asked. " I'M the hero, here, and WE say we have YOU guys."

" I got the biggest country," Kitten said.

Lunatic was shaking. " Heeelllppp . . . meeeeee."

" SHUT up you had your chance . . ." kitten said in a sudden darkened voice. She turned back and smiled. " Back to normals!"

" I swear THAT was where the signal came from . . . " Advent shivered.

" Can someone PLEASE help me out of this and get her off of my back?" Lunatic shivered still as he stood up.

" I-I wouldn't mind . . ." Tech said, hearts in his eyes.

Kitten glared at him. " You DO know what happened between Belarus and Lithuanis right? SHE broke HIS fingers."

" Crap man . . ." Tech shivered scooting back.

" I swear you're more Belarus than Chibitalia," Dawn laughed and high fived her. " We've got the Allies."

" AW crap . . ." the Allies said.

" Now we need to get the Axis," Kitten smiled.

" And that funky alien-thing," Edge said.

" Again with the alien?" Kitten asked.

Silence.

" Not gonna ask," Advent said, him and Edge backing up from the two. " RUN!"

The two ran away from Dawn, Kitten, The Allies and the Baltics.

XXX

Sealand, aka Mora, was tossing aside his sailor hat to match his cute blue and white sailor suit as he spotted a familiar group of 'countries' from Southern Europe around the corner. He had his vectors at the ready, someone sneexing behind him. He groaned as he looked over and saw a quivering black caped individual with a large black had, holy cross on the neckchain. He shook his head and patted him on the shoulder.

" Marcus, you have GOT to stop being to messed up about this," he groaned and got back against the wall.

" B-But when we ran into Rin, I nearly flipped, and running into Kitten all those ties before wasn't intended! How can I tell her I love her when everytime I do I mess up?" he whispered.

" I've got stalkers on me man, so I don't know what advice on love I can give," he said. " Can't get emotions and conflict mixed . . . that's how more blood gets spread. Now shut up . . . I'm concentrating . . . "

" On them? Oh man Kiva's there . . . I remember Romano's anger from the first season, and if anything I read about Hetalia is true along with South Italy's personality, and alongside Spain's brute strength despite his leisure, we're screwed!"

" I know that, but Erin and Alyssa are there as well, and all they're armed with is a giant mackeral and a cat-smile," Mora whispered. " You're just lucky Moa hit his head on a step, otherwise, I wouldn't be here to help you and your pathetic endeavors."

" Pathetic, huh?" he asked annoyed.

Mora shushed him as they heard talking over towards the group.

Meanwhile, Tal was talking quietly with Kiva, Erin and Alyssa, who were staying silent as they went over a plan to capture more countries, specifically the Axis Powers. The thunder was barely hearable now, lightning gone from the skies, and rain still pounding. it was past noon, and for over three hours, the game had been going on strong. Erin and Alyssa were shaking as they looked around near the candle-light.

" Alright, so first we split up, take separate halls, corner the Axis and take 'em down," Kiva said.

" Sounds good to me," Erin said.

" How're you gonna take 'em down?" Alyssa asked, holding the giant stuffed fish. " Dog-pile or single kicks?"

" No, no major violence, but Ranger's Germany, which MEANS I can kill him because of my character's grudge against him, and I'm allied alongside DP's character, so there's the edge," Kiva said.

" Yep," Tal said. " THIS is gonna be a piece of cake . . ."

" Hopefully . . . I just hope we don't get ambushed by anyone else," Erin said looking around. " I think I'm having a heart attack."

" Same, this is really starting to give me the creeps," Alyssa said.

" I so hope the next group we run into isn't gonna be - MORA!" Kiva yelled.

" OH crap WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED!" Mora yelled.

Mora and Marcus came out as the four others charged onto them, but there was a sudden group of screams, making them stop dead in their tracks. There was a familiar song playing as a ball of the Authors, mainly the Allies, Dawn and Kitten, Edge and Advent, and the Baltics, barreled down the stairs and right towards them. The groups gasped.

" I REGRET NOTHING!" Tal yelled.

The two groups were taken into the ball as it barreled down the hallway.

" THIS SUCKS!" Kiva yelled.

" DUDE!" Xemnas yelled as he was on the bottom.

" THIS REALLY HURTS!" Kitten yelped not hearing him.

" OUCH!" Edge yelped.

" WHERE IS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM?" Deadpool asked.

" WHY IS DEADPOOL HERE?" Rook yelled.

The ball kept rolling down into the next floor.

XXX

The Author Ball barreled into the next floor and swept up a quickly panicing group of the bigger three countries, Liberi, Hikari and D-Dude, who had Nukid, Shelby, Jose, TSS and Ross tied up alongside them. They were swept up without a single scream but they were screaming once the ball was rolling.

" Hey everyone!" Hikari yelled.

" AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" they all responded.

" THIS SUCKS BAAAAAAALLS!" Nukid yelled.

" SOMEONE CALL A PHYSICS PROFESSOR BECAUSE THIS SEEMS MESSED UP SOMEHOW!" Shelby asked as the ball turned a corner.

" Don't even try . . ." Rook asked.

" HOW DID WE EVEN GET HERE?" Haru yelled, the rest of the Metagang at the core of the ball.

" RANDOM INCERTION!" Janera yelled.

XXX

Ranger was still trying to yank the curl off of DP's head, who was freaking and red-faced from the erogenous zone. Quill was trying to separate the two of them. Tied up nearby was the Brother-Sister country duo alongside a ticked off Jean and even a vanishing . . . what was his name again?

" I'm Canada . . . WHY am I Canada?" Phantos whimpered.

There was a rumbling as the ball rolled.

" HOLY SHI-" Jean yelled.

The groups were swept up fast.

" Hey HIkari . . ." DP smiled.

" Sempai!" Hikari yelled back happily.

" SOMEONE CALL MY MOM!" Banjoamru yelled.

" I THINK I BUSTED MY LEG!" TSS yelled.

" YO, the leg is the LEAST of our problems!" Goddess yelled.

XXX

The rest of the groups were swept up easily as the Katamari Author Ball went back to the first floor, hit the bottom step, fell swiftly, and broke apart, scattering everyone in the foyer where the game ahd first started several hours ago. They were groaning as they were shivering. Some people held onto their stomachs and sighed.

" Ho-Holy crap . . ." DP panted.

" That was . . . messed up . . ." Rook groaned upside down.

" Call out an Ouch if you're hurt!" King yelled, on the stairs.

" Ouch . . ." Marcus groaned, his legs bent backwards.

Kiva laughed, underneath Phoenix, Goddess, Scorpion and DJ.

" All I did was teleport in with the Metagang and then THIS happens . . . ouch . . ." DJ groaned.

" Get off," Scorpion coughed.

The groups stood back up as Kitten ruffled out from underneath a group, then saw the others. They stood up as well, seeing how they looked after the ball had separated. They all just blinked as the rain kept pouring. The group sputtered as someone started laughing, then another, then another, then another, and then soon everyone was laughing.

" That was a blast!" King laughed.

" We missed all the fun!" Janera laughed on the floor.

" Dude, that was EPIC!" Edge coughed out while he laughed hard.

Advent laughed and pointed at Lunatic," You got your butt ha-handed to you-u-u!"

Lunatic laughed adn said," Yeah, but I'm getting a restraining order," he said the last part serious, but then started laughing again.

Deadpool was laughing as well, making Rook gulp.

" How did YOU get here?"

The laughter died down as there was a ZRIP.

The lights flickered back on.

" HEY!" the group said.

" Lights are back on! Game over!" Kiva said as he tossed off the costume and ran back upstairs.

The other Authors then started to file out fo the foyer and take off the costumes as Kitten took down the bow-headband. Dawn, Ross and Phantos came over, as the Metagang was collecting the Hetalia costumes. Kitten smiled as they walked over.

" That was really fun," Dawn laughed.

" Yeah, despite the ball thing," Kiva said.

" Sorry about that," Haru laughed.

" And the freaky alien," Phoenix said walking over.

Kitten blinked.

" What?" Dawn asked.

" Third time about that alien . . . " she said, putting a finger to her chin. " I hate to break it to you guys, but . . . TL, Rook and I never planned an alien."

" wait, what?" the others in the foyer yelled.

" What did it look like?" Kitten asked.

" Kinda big and bulky," Tech said shaking.

" Yeah, with a big head and eyes," Ucha said trying to act them out. " He scared the poop out of me and the others! . . Was NOT coolio."

Kitten blinked, slowly getting sulken and scared, wide-eyed and fearful, then panted lightly.

" Now that youy say it, it kinda reminds me of Tony," TL said thinking.

Kitten backed up against a wall, clutching her chest. She was panting more and more.

" what?" Kiva asked. " What's up Kitty?"

" That . . . that was . . ."

" Was what?" Ross asked.

Kitten looked up, her eyes dead.

" That was not Tony . . . "

_SU-SU-KU! TO BE CONTINUED!_


	7. Fishmares

_Here's the next one-shot! Be warned, this one is NOT for the faint of heart . . . so, those who have a weak constitution or just can't handle things very well that scare people without laughing, may want to not read this . . . otherwise, I mean no harm, this is just for laughs, I only own Kitten and the Metagang and no one else, no offence to the Author Fighters, please read and review, no flames and thank you!_

The nighttime air was already blowing in LA, nearly every house silent and already almost everyone was back home. The only other people out at this hour were the vermin, those who were early-early commuters and those on trips who had a plane to catch. A white blur moved through the city quickly, speeding past the deserted streets and small strays. He buzzed over one route to the other and skidded to a halt at a stop-sign, panting, then glanced around for a moment.

" Deserted as a graveyard," TLSoulDude said, a box in hand. " Oh well, onward!"

He sped off again and made his way towards Author Fighter HQ, where inside and in the living room, three others were awake and enjoying the early night.

" Wonder where TL is," Quill asked, sitting on the couch.

" Hey, he was the one who offered to get pizza," Rook shrugged," Maybe he stopped by somewhere else?"

" I don't think so," Quill got up. " It's getting pretty dark."

" This is TL we're talking about, not some little lost kid," Edge laughed, sitting upside down. " If he was stuck somewhere, he'd get out in a snap, mate!"

Quill sat down as a white blur made its way inside, shut the door and nearly flew into the living room. Quill was wide-eyed as TL placed the pizza box down and gave a minor salute. Rook blinked as Edge laughed and said," I TOLD YOU!" before falling off of the couch, producing a loud THUD.

" I'm ALRIGHT!"

" TL what took you?" Quill asked him.

" Long line at the pizza place, and secondly, a guy ordered about twenty cheese pizzas for some college frat party," TL said rolling his eyes, then smirked as he opened the box. " THIS is gonna taste aweso-"

" OH SICK!" Rook gagged.

" What in the name of my mother, Garda are THOSE gross things?" Quill nearly threw up.

" Oh dude, gross they look like snails and slugs and whatever ELSE goes inside a sausage in Germany!" Edge gagged, hands on his throat.

" I think those are anchovies . . ." TL said blinking.

Their pizza was indeed covered in stinking and salty anchovies, eyes gone and still appearing gross. Quill covered his eyes as Rook coughed turning away. Edge laughed as he got back on the couch and TL grabbed a slice, the cheese being oily and slimey as the anchovies. He nearly barfed as started to pick off the anchovies.

" Look, i-it's not so bad," he said. " All you have to do is pick off the fishes and it'll taste better!"

" I don't think so," Quill said looking firm.

" OH come on you pansy!" edge laughed taking a slice, shaking off the fish, and then soved it into his mouth.

" Well?" the three men asked.

Edge gulped.

Silence.

" Not that bad, but kind of salty . . ."

" Huh, really?" Rook asked blinking in surprise.

" Me LIKEY!" Edge grabbed another slice.

" Dude!" Quill grabbed one.

" Save me a slice!" Rook yelled.

" OH come on dudes! I'M the one who got the pizza! I'M the hero!" TL yelled grabbing a slice.

The four were too busy devouring the pizza to notice a familiar white-haired woman walk into the room.

" What is going on here?" Hikari asked, stepping in.

" Hey Hikari-chan! want some pizza?" Edge asked, holding up a slice.

She cringed and stepped back, saying," No thank you Edge-san . . . um, uh . . . um, what kind of fish is that?"

" Anchovies," the four said at once.

Hikari gulped and backed off more towards the door, shivering. " Everyone knows what happens when you eat those kinds of foods! You get horrible, disgusting nightmares that don't stop! They plague you in your sleep as long as the fishes are in your system, and they NEVER leave your mind!"

The rant had the four silent, cheese dripping from Edge's mouth. He wiped up in three seconds as Quill smiled and walked over to Hikari.

" Hikari-chan, I know you care but we'll be okay, really," he smiled.

Hikari gulped.

" Well, if you say so Quill-san, but please do be careful . . . goodnight everyone," she smiled and walked off.

They were in silence as Edge busted out laughing.

" Alright, a-anyone else see that coming . . . " he laughed and wiped an eye.

" No, but I'm sure we'll be fine," TL laughed lightly.

" YEAH!"

XXX

_**Hurricane's Quill**_

Quill yawned and walked out of the living room and straight into the kitchen, bidding the others a good-night and sweet dreams, and began getting a glass from the cabinet for water. The salt from the fishy pizza was stuck in his throat and there was a scratchy sensation coming from it, him literally scratching his throat, gagging as he reached his Adam's apple.

" I hope I'm not suffering an allergic reaction . . . if I am, I'm so hosed . . . "

He got the water as he heard a small buzzing noise.

" Who's there?"

He turned on a dime.

No one.

" M-Must be . . . NOnono," he shook his head," Why am I worrying so much? Hikari was wrong, she's being the worrywart about me and I'm worrying about this . . . hm, then again, that means I'm also worrying about my own well-being in the process and thus I worry too much . . . "

The buzzing continued as a large black blur buzzed above his head and landed on the counter. It was a small bee, no more ordinary than a honey bee.

Quill froze and dropped his glass.

He ran and grabbed a magazine, ran and rolled it up, and smacked the bee on the countertop hard as a hammer to a nail.

" Haha! Gotcha, demon bug!" he was shaking.

He pulled it up to see the dead bee, huffing happily.

" Who's buzzing now, you freaky thing? . . . man I hate bees . . ."

He tossed the now curled magazine back on the table and started to walk out of the kitchen. He stopped as a larger buzzing sound was heard, and he froze as he reached the open doorway. He shivered and glanced towards the right, where the kitchen door led out to the backyard, and it was thudding. The door banged as the lights in the kitchen dimmed faintly, then in wide shots of the door slams. Quill charged up his powers, lowered the rim of his hat, and reached towards the door.

He had his hand on the knob.

" Dear Mother help me . . . please . . ."

He jerked it open, released a LARGE flood of angry bees, who began to swarm around Quill as he squirmed and screamed and begged for mercy. He swatted bees off left and right and ran out of the kitchen, the bees following him as he tried to run away. Panting and nearly screaming, fear overmounting, he tried to open another door, shaking and trembling.

" Garda darn it I hate bees!" he yelled. " Open, damned door, open!"

He turned as the bees were heading right for him. He took a turn down another hallway and locked himself in the bathroom. He was shaking more and more, curling into a small ball. He had a hand on the doorknob, gulped, then opened the door gently, looking outside.

Nothing.

" Oh sweet honey . . ."

He smiled leaving and closing the door. The sound echoed, driving the horrific bees back towards him, coming at a break-neck pace. He turned and tried to open the door, but was now jammed, and he yelped as they came closer and closer.

" Oh damn it I forgot this door's sticky! I'M SO DEAD!"

The bees were soon a foot away.

" AAAAAHHHHHHH-"

XXX

" -HHHH!"

He jolted out of bed, a cold sweat on his face, slowly regaining conciousness and wiped his face with a free hand. He was trembling still, looking himself over. No bee stings or stingers. Nothing to indicate it was real . . . he sighed happily.

" Oh man . . . that was horrible . . ."

He got out of bed and wiped more of the cold sweat off, seeing his room in the darkness, aside from the lights of the moon from his window. He smiled and laughed lightly, glad the dream was over. He got up and walked out into the hallway. He decided in his head he'd get a drink to help clear his mind.

" Damn I hate bees . . ."

XXX

_**Lion's Edge**_

Edge was laying on the couch, eyes closed, remembering the taste of the pizza. He jerked his eyes open and lurched off of the couch, glancing around at the empty and darkened living room. He blinked and rubbed his eyes as memories came back. He yawned and hopped off of the couch, stretching to the left and the right.

" Man, must have dozed off," he said," Otherwise, I'm kinda hungry. There any more pizza?"

He saw the empty box.

" AW MAN COME ON!"

He stomped out fo the living room and into the darkened foyer.

" Last time I let TL have the last piece . . . darn it all . . . I might as well get a burger from the kitchen . . . "

There was a creaking noise, making Edge jump. He backed up, looking around the foyer. He gulped and tagged his shirt hole collar, shaking in the darkness. Moonlight was the only light provided at the moment, and even THAT faint light was making the room darker. He stepped more towards the middle of the foyer and felt an icy chill go down his spine. His blood ran cold as there wasn't a single sound. It was the eerie silence of church on Monday, the silence of a graveyard . . .

_' OH man, do not think about the silencea graveyard, don't think about how this is like a horror movie, don't think that this is all too real, don't think about how this can get me to die in some horrible nutty way- okay stopping now . . . ' _Edge thought shaking as he walked slowly towards the front door.

The sounds of creaking steps continued as he faced the doorway, refusing to look behind him. He was too afraid for some reason to move. The steps were too light, even to his ears.

" I-Is someone behind me?" he asked, shaking even more.

" Hello?" a light female voice asked behind him, still on the staircase.

Edge's eyes lit up and he sighed happily.

" Oh man . . . Rin do not scare me like that . . ." Edge sighed, still facing the door, releasing a kind breath. " TRUST me, I have no idea why I'm freaked out right now . . . and it's cold in here, like Ranger's heart . . . Did DP turn down the thermosta-AH-AH-AHHHHHHH!"

He made the mistake of turning around, eyes closed, and once he opened them, he was NOT happy with what he saw: there on the staircase was a glimmering white apparition, a white dressed manifestation of ectoplasm, a stringing haired young maiden of spirit with glowing eyes and a candle in one hand, a dress-hemm holding being of the spiritl world, a fear-stricking, heart-pounding, fear-quickening, soul-sucking, semi-evil natured being called a-

" GHOOOOOOOST!" Edge yelled and ran out of the foyer.

The ghostly being flew quickly after Edge as he ran, screaming for dear life. He ran around in circles with the ghost girl, who was whispering for his soul. Literally. He slid into a closet, slamming the door shut, then silently huffed, red faced from the energy spent. Only his eyes were visible in the darkness.

Silence.

" Oh man, tha-that was crazy scary . . . hope I don't get any more surprises . . ." Edge then laughed," Hahaha, sounded like Rook."

Another set of eyes opened in the closet.

" Yeah, I heard he's funny," the same ghostly voice said.

" I know it, right? Murphy's Law! I stil hate Advent though . . . "

" I heard his humor, it kind of sucks, and I've been here a while to know so."

" . . . "

" . . . I want your soul."

" AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

He crashed through the closet door and ran back into the foyer, panicing against the front-door. The ghost followed, floating over towards him, her eyes loud with energy and with glowing anger from the chase scenes. Edge was frozen as he opened his mouth, but no sound came.

The ghost was upon hi-

XXX

" OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!" Edge paniced off of the couch, blanket falling over him.

He got back up, shaking as he glanced around the darkened living room. He blinked and was huffing with every passing heartbeat. He jolted up and ran to a mirror, looking himself over. He sighed and stuck his tongue out in the glass, retracted it, and collapsed to his feet.

" That was God awful . . . That made he think back to my mummy . . ."

He then sniffled and ran towards the kitchen.

" I REALLY need that burger now!"

XXX

_**Wildrook**_

Rook yawned as he walked upstairs, the pizza not settling well in his gutt. He coughed from heartburn and sighed as he got to the first floor. He rubbed an eye as he kept walking, blinking in the darkness. There was shuffling of feet in another hallway as he walked along, pictures hanging on the walls and a light on from Kitten's bedroom.

" Oh man, that pizza was terrible . . . but why must it be so salty?" he asked annoyed.

The door creaked open as someone emerged, a familiar shape to Rook. He stopped as the figure looked darkened alongside of it, and he was feeling . . . uneasy . . .

" Hey Rook, wanna come in?" a male voice asked with an off inflection. " Kitty and I are in here."

" Haru . . . why am I not surprised?" he sighed and walked inside of Kitten's room.

Kitten was on her bed, Haru walking in and sitting cross-legged on the floor. Kitten was laughing as she was writing down notes from Haru. Kitten's room was filled with plushies and small cute things, such as several anime posters, her desk was light blue and pink with butterflies and her bed was even more girly with snowflake patterns. She was dressed like Chii and on her head was a Yuuske Urameshi plushie, her pen having the Hetalia logo.

" Stepping in here HAS to feel like innocence," Rook sighed, sitting in a bean bag chair shaped like Pinkie Pie.

" Huh?" Kitten asked.

" Nevermind . . . " Rook sighed.

Haru sighed and said," Well, like I was saying Kitten, the next ingredient is the most important. It literally MAKES the cupcake . . . "

" What ingredient?" Rook asked. " Come to think of it, why are you in here?"

Haru smiled and said," I'm just in here to give Kitty a recipe for cupcakes, a specialty, not to toot my own horn, and it runs in the family."

" If it runs in the family, it's gotta be weird," Rook shrugged, slugging back in the chair, relaxing for once. " This is actually comfortable."

" Thanks!" Kitten smiled. " It got the chair from a MLP con that happened a few states over. Doesn't it feel like your just being frozen by the relaxing memory beads?"

Rook sighed and nodded, leaning back more on his back, smiling and actually relaxing for once. He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling cares and worries melt away on the chair. He snuggled more into the chair and showed teeth grinning as he heard scuffling in the room and a clinging sound. There were two sets of giggling as other noises were heard, along with clanging and the sound of a tape being inserted into a boom-box.

" So, what was the most important ingredient in those cupcakes? I want one when they're done," he said, the reopened his eyes, remembering," On second thought, unless they have Splenda in them, I'll have to say no."

" I'm sorry about this!" Kitten smiled over him, something shining in the light in her hand, her eyes looking demonic. " It's just, you're the only one around! And I wanted to try thie recipe."

" Wha-wha-what's going on?"

" Oh man Rook, you didn't know?" Haru asked, drooling a bit. " Remember my species? My blood? I'm an Epipheral Demon after all, and Epipheral Demons are known for eating anything that can run or walk or talk! Even dragons if we wanted to, but their scales are too hard, Darksides taste like feet, and you ever heard of werewolves? Too gross and furry."

Rook gasped, seeing a large cleaver in Haru's hand. He was shaking as he tried to move, but his hands had been braced down into the floor, literally. He was tied down tightly with hemp rope and steel as two people he knew were holding knives, the song "Blue" by Eiffel 65 playing in the background.

" Should I even ask? Wait, this is a joke right?" Rook asked, trying to calm down. " That- that Kiva's filming this for some College Humor sight?"

" Nope," Haru licked his lips." Far from it . . . I've eaten my mom's and dad's cupcakes beforehand, but the ones I make include a special ingredient . . . flesh and blood."

Rook was shaking. Kitten was smiling as she leaned in with Haru, who was still drooling. She smiled and said," Poor Rook, you're like my big brother, and now you're gonna be like this? Too bad . . . at least there's a good side to this, Big Bro-ther!"

Rook tried to break free, too scared to do anything, shock taking over. Here he was, helpless and about to be killed, by the same teen he had tortured, who mocked him back, and by the girl who declared him his older brother, who was now going to eat him. What a way to go . . . he gulped as he saw the cleaver go up in Haru's hand.

" Wanna become one?" they asked at once.

XXX

" AAAHHHAHAHAAHHH!" Rook screamed, jolting up out of bed, shaking like crazy, covered in sweat, nausea continuing from the fish.

He was panting, gulped and panted again, looking around his room. Trisha was beside him, asleep still, but stirring from his scream of terror. The rest of the room was darkened aside from a hall light on, visible underneath his door. Trisha groaned and turned to him, half-awake.

" Rook? What's going on?" she asked.

" N-Nothing . . . just a funky dream . . . " Rook shook as he got out of bed and wiped sweat off of his forehead.

" Okay then . . . why not splash your face or something?" Trisha asked, falling back asleep.

" That's the plan," he sighed unhappily," I'm going downstairs . . . I need a drink . . ."

He walked out of his room still remembering the flashes and before the nightmare got too terrible. He shook his head and kept shaking as he reached the end of the hallway, sighing in defeat.

" I have to apologize to that poor sucker . . ."

XXX

_**TLSoulDude**_

TLSoulDude suddenly found himself sitting in the meeting room of the Author Fighters, everyone talking as DP was addressing missions and talking with Ranger on side matters of the day, along with talking with Hikari about her mission. The other Authors were scattered and were already reading over the mission papers that DP had passed out and gone over accordingly, morning light echoing inside the room from each of the windows.

He tried to wave a hand in front of Tal's face, the Trolling Gunman seeming not to notice, or just ignoring him. He blinked as he looked on, seeing older members and newer members comingling with each other, smiling as DP was getting down to where he was in the table. He was getting down to Phoenix's mission.

" Phoenix, you and Hikari are going on monitor duty on the Darksides, seems they've been cooking up another heist to be executed in about a week, so keep an eye on them," DP said to her. " You up for it?"

" Is the Vongola Family in Italy?" she laughed. " Hecks yeah."

" And now next is . . ."

TLSoulDude was on the table, laughing," I'm up for anything DP!"

" - Wormtail, your on duty with Ranger and myself today."

TL stopped as everyone was now looking at DP. TL climbed down and looked a bit annoyed, but otherwise was feeling off about the meeting in progress, giving them the usual pep-talk before missions.

_' When did I get in the meeting room? Wasn't it nighttime last I remember? How can I even be here without the memories of getting he- oh man what am I saying? I'm starting to sound like Bid Double D on a bad day! I'm sure that pizza last night and what Hikari said are just getting to me . . . I'll be alright!'_

" Authors, let's rock!" DP said.

Everyone left the room as TL followed, laughing, saying out loud," Who's up for pizza after we finish missions?"

No one was appearing to listen.

" Hey Erin, how about we go see that new Avengers movie?"

She walked off, not listening.

" Am I invisible here?" he grunted, then ran to another Author.

He reached out to Air, looking worried, and said," Yo Air, you guys playing silent from me?"

His hand literally phased through AirNaruto's body.

He froze.

" Oh . . . crud . . ."

He looked at his body as he entered the hallway, the Authors now taking separate ways. He stared at his hands shocked, shaking now. He gulped and ran to a nearby mirror, still seeing himself. He sighed and took note he wasn't invisible, but was shaking a lot from fear.

" Man, I gotta lay off of those weird movie reviews . . . maybe I've taken on a Canada thing . . ."

He placed a hand on the wall, laughing to himself.

" Yeah, Canada . . . "

His hand and body phased through the wall, showing a transparent film and his own arm vanishing before he even was taking notice.

He drew back, running throught the hallways, his whole arms vanishing. He was being erased away, and he could now feel his other arm leaving his body behind, but it was still there, like a phantom limb. He panted as he ran down another hallway, then another, then another, feeling no end to it.

" WORST DAY EVER! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

He reached the foyer, seeing Lunatic and D-Dude talking to each other as another Author Fighter was walking by. He smiled happily, weeping as he ran to Loony and DD. He looked down seeing his legs beginning to vanish before his eyes. The other Authors had paid no attention and couldn't hear or see him.

Perhaps his own brothers would . . .

" Loon! D! it's me! TL!" He yelled, trying to get them to see him.

They were walking along, not even noticing their disappearing brother.

" Someone . . . anyone . . . "

he was crying as his head was beginning to vanish.

" Someone please notice me . . . I don't wanna go like this!" he shook his head as his eyes were the last to vanish.

" SOMEONE NOTICE MEEEEEEE!"

XXX

" I AM NOT CANADA!"

TL jolted out of bed, shaking. He looked at his body, swinging his feet out of bed in the darkness, feeling for them. He has happy as he saw their outlines in the darkness, aided by the color of his fur, and layed back on his bed, laughing happily.

" I-I'm still here . . . I'm not vanishing . . . I AM NOT CANADA!"

The hog jumped on his bed and laughing nsaying over and over," I AM NOT CANADA! I'M STILL HERE! I'M STILL ALIVE!"

There was banging coming from next door.

" TL, are you watching Hetalia again? Keep it down! It's two in the morning and I have places to go tomorrow!"

" Whoops, sorry Kiva!" TL yelled. " Wait, it's two in the morning? I thought it was eleven!"

" Nope! Time flies!"

" TL? Is something up?" banging on the other wall happened. " You alright in there?"

" I'm cool Dawn, just a nightmare's all."

" Alright, but if it gets bad, you can come to me. I know how you feel dude."

" Silencer?"

" Yep."

" That sucks," Kiva yelled from his room.

The banging stopped as TL dashed out of his room.

" I'll just get some milk . . ."

XXX

Edge was already in the kitchen, eating a burger at the table. A glass of warm milk was by TL, who was sighing near Quill, who had his hand on the back of Rook, shaking and biting his now down to the quick nails. TL took another sip as Rook poured the last of his nightmare, just as the others had done for the past hour.

" What's worse," Rook sighed," If anything, I know that nightmare was fake and all, but it's MY brain that thought that up, I'LL never forget it, and so far, I'll never be able to get it out! I'll be able to look at the Metagang or Kitty the same way again! THEY HAD CLEAVERS!"

" NOR will you be able to listen to British bands the same way again," Edge said, mouth full. " I mean come on, dude, I dreamt I was being attacked by a sou-sucking ghost in the HQ! THAT is worth something."

" Sick," Rook gagged, " Say it don't spray it . . ."

" Gross, dude," TL said, drinking his milk. " Hey, I was vanishing and no one was noticing me . . .but yours? Takes the cake dude."

" Me being killed by my worst fear?" Quill said, then shivered," Kind of a tie, considering I was swelling in the dream from bee stings . . . and I don't know if I'm allergic or not."

" You may be," Edge said, food spraying from his mouth as he spoke.

The others gagged, a few stomachs gurgling with nausea inducing acids.

" Okay, Hikari was right," TL groaned.

" Agreed," Quill said," I think there's a part two to this pain . . ."

" What part two?" Edge finished.

" Better explain now before we all die of fear, Quill," Rook said.

" Destruction of our gutts . . ." Quill groaned.

" OH MAN . . ." the three said as Quill laughed.

Their gutts groaned from the pizza.

" NOT funny," Edge groaned.

" Most definitely not . . ." Quill gulped.

_Epilogue_

The four were soon back in the living room, watching TV. Their misadventures in their Dreamlands were already a week old, still suffering the cramps and pains of the older than ever anchovies on the pizza, which turns out, wasn't even fresh at all.

" So how'd you find out that the pizza was was going ouit of business again?" Edge asked TL.

TL shrugged and said," Heard a radio broadcast about it having bad side-effects in everyone. Same old, same old."

" Least everything's back to normal," Rook smiled.

" Not so, dude," Quill shivered remembering back. " NOW I'm checking every acre, every hallways and even underneath the place for beehives."

" I can't watch horror movies ever again . . . " Edge shivered.

" I can't watch any Hetalia episodes or read anything with Canada anymore . . . makes me feel . . . weird," TL quivered.

Rook sighed," I think I got over my dream, finally. I've been avoiding Kitten and the Metagang the whole week . . ."

A springing sound as heard as Kitten hopped over, a cupcake tray in hand.

" Hey everyone! I made chocolate-chip chewy cupcakes with a recipe I got from-"

" BEGONE EVIL TORMENTOR!"

Rook ran off freaking out, creeped up against the wall, his heart visibly beating in his chest. Kitten blinked.

" - King . . . the secret ingredient's fudge chunks . . ."

Silence.

" I'll take one!" Edge said happily.

_With apologies to everyone!_


	8. Advent's Second FrightFest

_Okay, due to technical difficulties with my labtop, which will now have ALL of the memory erased, this chapter will have been taking up a while to type, considering it'll be on my mother's computer . . . heh, otherwise, this should let out some laughs, SOOO sorry for anyone pranked, forgive me for those I torture in this alongside Advent, Marcus, Phantos, Rook and the others, I only own Kitten and the Metagang, so please read, review and no flames! Thank you!_

The buildings and windows of LA shined brightly with jack-o-lanterns and autumn leaves, cars standing in the street as people walked about. Very few cars were on the move as younger kids were laughing and already finished planning what their annual Halloween wishes and costumes were, getting prepared for that night. Large winds were blowing bushels of brightly basted leaves to the bustling headquarters upon the higher areas of LA, of the heroes of their fair city, their country, the Author Fighters, who at the moment were also planning something for the holiday of Pagan beliefs and practices.

" Can someone help me out over here?" TL yelped, trying to hand a fake cobweb from the ceiling in the living room. Standing on a ladder while trying to attach it to a hook was proving deadly to the hedgehog.

The other Authors were otherwise decorating other parts of the HQ's first floor for a Halloween party, which was being thrown by DP and Hikari. The foyer had been covered already, but there were still several other areas, and TL was in charge of the living room alongside Shelby, Jose and Angelic Soldier.

" OH SNAP!" he nearly fell backwards, grabbing onto the edge for dear life, cobwebs still in hand.

Shelby ran over and flew up to help. " How's this?"

" T-Thanks . . ." he was nearly falling over on the ladder.

" On edge already, TL?" AS asked, hanging up a fake spider.

TL laughed mockingly and said sarcastically," No, I'm just waiting for my death to happen."

" Oh come on, TL, the Halloween party's around the corner, and you aren't scared?" Shelby laughed as she flew back down. " It's the one time of the year where it's cool to get scared, despite limits. Trust me, it is."

" It's not me I'm worried about," TL said climbing down. " It's Loon. He doesn't do well with anything of the 'Scary' variety."

" You just keep telling yourself that," Jose said as he was already getting the couch decorated.

" Oh sure, and what are YOU dressing as for Halloween?" TL rolled his eyes. " I'M gonna be someone wicked! Someone scary, someone TOTALLY-"

" I don't think Rorschach constitutes as 'scary' in my opinion," AS said.

TL had a blank look on his face as it turned into frustration.

" And Raphael does?"

" He's scary when he wants to be . . . Trust me on this one, TL."

Shelby sighed and shook her head, walking out of the room and into the foyer, wildly decorated with pumpkins and traditional Halloween decor, such as witches and pumpkins, where Hikari and Kitten were hanging mini bats on the walls. Dawn was already carrying a stand-up scarecrow towards the door to stake into the front yard. Shelby waved as she waved back, then she walked outside. Shelby turned to the other two girls in the room.

" How goes the decorating?"

" Very well," Hikari smiled. " Much easier to do this without Advent bragging about how he'll be Jashin for Halloween."

Kitten was shaking then, looking paler than usual.

" What's wrong, Kat?"

" Please don't call me that . . ." she shivered, ducking underneath the box. " Please do not call me that . . ."

Shelby raised her brow. " I strike a nerve?"

Hikari tapped her and said," Remember? her Halloween, um . . . fiasco?"

" Oh, right . . . " Shelby shivered, then said," Kitty, this year will NOT be as bad as it was to you beforehand."

Kitten glanced up, eyes quivering. " R-Really Shelby?"

" Oh no, Kitty-chan, not at all!" Hikari smiled.

Kitten had a large grin then, as Advent slid down on the rail of the staircase beside them.

" Not unless you wanna see something gross, disgusting, horrendous and TOTALLY worth the scare for!" he laughed and landed on the tip of his scythe. " How'd I do this time?"

Kitten was pale and now looking ready to vomit. Hikari and Shelby glared at him, as he was already standing on the tip of it. He laughed and landed back on the ground.

" Dude, we almost had her calm, and THEn you-" Shelby started, but turned back. " Where'd she go?"

Kitten had vanished in a puff of smoke as there was light screaming in another room. She glared back at Advent, who was shining his nails on his cloak. Hikari followed after and was lightened on her feet. X walked into the room and was yawning beneath his mask.

" I know what happened last Halloween, Advent, and I SO do not wanna see anything like that crap again," she said. " Especially this year because of all the other things going on . . . "

He laughed and said almost innocently," I have NO Idea what you are talking about, Shelby . . ."

She started naming them off, one by one, painfully, or in Advent's case, wins.

" You freaked out Liberi with a fake french president and used Toshiro to do it."

" THAT was genius . . ." he laughed loudly. " Still owe him that ice cream . . ."

" You told Phoenix that the Kingdom Hearts series was cancelled then got her in traction for about two weeks."

" Still funny . . ."

" You gave Dawn severe burns from silver . . ."

" Now THAT she will never forgive me for! " he was laughing now.

" You made Quill believe he was no longer loved by his mother and he shut himself up in his room for DAYS!"

" Aspies are really fun to freak out," he snickered, looking a lot more like a Trollfaced man now.

" You made DJ think his teacher was now Tom Jones."

" Came up with that on the fly."

" You scared Hikari with a zombie . . ."

Hikari then looked spooked.

" Now THAT one was unintended . . . although I DID make good use of the other stuff to scare the begabbers out of DP . . ."

" After that, you scared Jose and I with a picture of our 'future kids' and some toothpaste!"

" That was just a gag man . . . not my doing so much, more of my pals . . . "

" You forced Nukid to watch 4Kids."

There was a scream somewhere in the headquarters, Advent smiling wickedly.

" There was ALSO the fiasco with Ranger?"

" Best . . ." he wiped a tear from laughter.

" You told Harribel about Spriggs to X?"

" THAT was personal and a great victory."

" What about spraying Iron Mantis with insect repellant?"

" Never thought it would work . . ."

She groaned and said," You are DEFINITELY missing the point! I-"

" You're also forgetting how I trapped D-Dude in the giant fridge, OH! or when I made Lunatic believe he was sane, or when I told TL that Phil Collins was DEAD!" he fell over laughing, holding his side. " Oh, oh my ribs!"

There was a snapping sound as he turned, seeing TL turn a bright yellow, looking ready to kill. His blue eyes were now red as blood with his own anger and bloodlust. Advent gulped and returned to his feet, saluting. Shelby sighed as TL got back to hanging up a small scarecrow on the wall nearby.

" Advent, you scared the jeepers out of everyone," Shelby said annoyed. " You not only scared the crap out of us, but scared a quarter of us into states of mental regression! You even made X wear a cheerleader outfit!"

" THAT I consider an achievement!"

He grinned wide as he groaned.

" What's the point . . ." she sighed as he ran out of the foyer. TL glanced over and shook his head. " Is there NO way to stop him?"

" Not unless Jashin was dead . . . at least to him."

" . . . Would take more than a miracle . . . and some really strong coffee and motivation . . . ."

XXX

Advent was writing on a clipboard, smirking evilly as he continued to think of ideas and manners for the upcoming Halloween. It was a list he had been working on with each new member that had arrived in the FAF, their strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, powers and weapons, and was determined to officially scare the others into some sort of submission. The previous year had been a hoot, so why not make this year be as fun as the last?

" Alright, so maybe I could get Tal with a reverse gunman? . . . Nah, too easy . . . " he crossed off the previous idea. " How about Rook with the ugly enchrantress?"

DP glanced from his podium, where he was reading more than two books at once, and saw him walk was flipping a page in one about transformation spells when he suddenly felt a shiver as he placed the bookmarks back into the books and closed each. He walked out and followed Advent intensely.

" Advent, a word if I may?" he said stoicly.

Advent turned and smiled widely and insanely at his leader.

" Hey DP! How's the slaying?"

" Advent . . ." he glared. " I've been thinking . . ."

He kept the smile, beginning to sweat.

" Sooo . . . you and Hikari finally reach THAT base yet?"

" After what happened last Halloween, what with all the scares and bru-ha-ha . . . "

" Seen anything nice in the theaters?"

' _Anything to change the subject, anything to change the subject . . . ' _

" I've decided . . . "

" - To let me sacrifice in my room with a lock on the door?"

_' ANYTHING DAMMIT!'_

"- to have someone follow you around for today to prove that you will NOT scare anyone . . . "

Advent's smile finally faltered as he fell flat to DP's feet and started whimpering. DarkPaladinmon's stern look remained as Advent was already feeling crushed.

" Oh come on man!" he whimpered. " I was just gonna pull some small ones here and there! Honest! I-I swear on my blood, my-my scythe! MY BLOOD! I PROMISE NO AUTHOR WILL BE-"

" Advent, you put three of us in the hospital and gave TL and Quill therapy . . ." Dp growled.

" Oh, right, but can't we talk about this?"

" I've set a member of the upmost polar opposite from you to keep an eye on you, so you can learn by example to NOT pull bets and stuff like this again . . . If one more prank against any Author or anyone else for that matter, goes on tonight or today on the 31st, you can be sure . . ."

Advent gulped.

DP snapped and lightning flashed outside, illuminating him like a twisted demon.

" I'll leave THAT little flash . . . to your imagination . . ." he said.

Advent picked himself up as DP took the clipboard and walked back. He cursed under his breath as he turned and saw DP glancing back.

" Remember, the party is tonight at seven."

" Right," he said fakely, then walked off cursing underneath his breath. " Oh of all the bloody Jashin filled hells . . . can't an insane bloke like me just have FUN once in a while? No, I'm stuck with a babysitter for the whole day and night . . . who the bloody Hell would even VOLUNTEER for thi- . . . "

The thought ran over him like cold water in a shower. He gaped.

" OH . . . hell . . . no . . . "

XXX

" Oh come on, smile Advent!" Kitten smiled, blinking three times. " Please?"

The Jashinist was now wearing a bunny hat and lightly colored pink petticoat, and sitting in a My Little Pony bean-bag chair. He was steaming with rage, a look of disagreement, hatred, anger and total humiliation on his face. His scythe was hanging up on the back of her door, which was decorated with flowers and pink, a few Sanrio hookable plushies, and a poster was nearby that even screamed MLP:FiM. The amount of innocence was suffocating with the girlish nature. It would have made a goth barf on the spot.

" I'd rather burn in Hell . . ." he grumbled. " And I thought you hated Halloween . . . "

Kitten was smiling as she poured Japanese tea into a cup, then handed it to him. He growled silently taking it.

" I do, and I've decided on going to the Party tonight in a gentler costume with the others to help me calm down, but Advent, DP gave me this job when Liberi and Ross denied the request," she smiled. " I believe there's good in everyone's hearts, and that nothing matters more than being friends and having peace."

He coughed out," Your parents drop you on your head as a baby or something?"

" What?" she tilted her head.

" Nothing . . ." he sipped the tea, then gagged. " OH man that's hot!"

" It's just Japanese Green Tea, sweetened . . . " she wondered, sipping and shivered. " Y-You're right . . ."

He groaned and set the cup down saying," Well then, tell me, if you ARE going to show me how to NOT pull scare pranks on others, then WHY the HECK am I wearing a bunny hat and dress!"

Kitten smiled and said," Because it's fun!"

Advent was nearly ready to explode.

" Oh, I almost forgot!"

He blinked as he got up and reached for something underneath her bed. He glanced back at his scythe, eyes dancing with light. This was his chance: with her distracted, he could grab his scythe, tear off the clothes and get the bloody Heck out of there before she even noticed. He began to stretch, reaching for his scythe, towards freedom of the girlish prison, towards the glorious time of vi-

" Got it!"

He sat down as fast as she turned around. Kitten got up and forcefully tied up a bonnet on his head, around the bunny ears, with blue colored and white laces. It tied traditionally underneath the chin; it was more of a stereotypical baby bonnet. He groaned as he felt his own anger burst into his veins in his forehead.

" It looks so cute!" she giggled sitting down.

" You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he growled low and neaarly spitting flames.

She nodded.

Advent growled and said," SON of a bitch this is humiliating . . . I'm just glad no one's watching . . ."

Kitten's window, open to the second floor of the building, had a clear view of a large part of LA, and flapping right outside of it was Ross, holding a camera in his Pokemorph form. Advent paled as Kitten waved, laughing and smiling. Ross snapped a few pictures laughing.

" You having fun, Advent?" he laughed, then flew off.

Advent growled and said," I'll show him . . ."

Kitten wrapped her tail around his leg, making him stay put as he started to stand up.

" No chances, Advent . . . I'm following you wherever you go today so you don't scare the crap out of anyone," Kitten smiled, sipping the tea gently. " Much better now that it's nice and cool."

He was steaming as an idea hit him. He blinked several times as he glanced backwards from Kitten to a manga shelf, containing several horror bases mangas and animes. Uzumaki, Higurashi, and even movie versions of Death Note . . . He then glanced back at Kitten, who was calmly sipping the tea, then back to the manga, then back and forth.

_' If I can't get to the scaring, I'll get the scaring to come to me . . . and I could use some help this year . . . '_

He smiled and said," Hey, Kitty, I know your Author Tactics stuff is good . . . right?"

Kitten glanced up, her ears pricking. " Yes, but-"

" And you wanna be better at it, right?"

" Of course but I-"

" So, I'm one of the better scarier Authors, don't you agree?"

" I think Ranger's beaten yo-"

He pulled her over and said," You and I can pull those scares out of our arsenal, you won't be forced to do crazy stuff like this, and I can scare the newer Authors to death!"

Kitten smiled awkwardly, sputtered, then laughed, falling to the floor. Advent groaned and pinched the nearves between his eyes. He had wanted to be the one to laugh like that first, but she had beaten him to it.

" What's so funny?"

" Y-You-your outfit!" She laughed. " S-So cute, c-can't take it seriously-y-y-y-y!"

As she was rolling on the floor laughing, literally, he started laughing as well, hands raised up as Kitten stood up as well. The two were laughing as a cloud, passing over the sun, gave them dark and near blackened bodies. Their eyes were illuminated alongside their mouths and made them look more like demons than 'humans' . . .

" Let the scaring begin!" the two yelled.

There was a pounding from next door.

" Shut up! I have a hang-over, let me sleep it off!" Nukid yelled next door.

" Oops, sorry!" Kitten yelped.

XXX

**Victim #1: Tal Ordo**

Tal Ordo, a newer member of the FAF, was polishing a gun of his as he was gathering bits for his costume, as Advent and Kitten peered at him from a nearby corridor. He was analyzing as Kitten was merely blinking and watching.

" Alright, rule one of scaring someone, make it their worst nightmare . . . " Advent was rubbing his hands together menacingly. " Now, we just need something . . . Tal's is one of the few that I couldn't think of . . . so we need something . . . "

" Like what?" she whispered. " And what do you mean by worst nightmares?"

Advent, still wearing the outfit from before, was sighing as he said," Alright, first off, it's nightmare, singular, and secondly . . . you can lie, right?"

Kitten shook her head. Advent sighed and removed the petticoat, hat and bonnet.

" Thank God that stuff is off- watch and learn!" he whispered loudly.

Advent walked right up to Tal, who was already trying to work with the lightsaber.

" Heya, dude!" he laughed.

" Oh, hey Advent," Tal said. " Rumor has it that Kitten's your babysitter?"

He blew a raspberry and said," Now now now, don't tale pity on me, especially since what I have to tell you is insane enough as it is, and effects you."

" Huh?"

" Trolling has now been declared illegal."

" . . ."

" No lies."

" You're bluffing . . ."

Tal was dumbstruck as Advent's unwavering smile was enough confirmation for him. He stumbled backwards as he said," No . . . nonononono that can NOT be true!"

" Yeah, well, stupid people online are now troll-free my friends. Se la vi!"

As Advent walked off, Tal was shaking as he fell to his knees, murmuring over and over again," It can't be happening . . . it just can't be . . . my trolling career . . . dead . . .?"

Kitten gasped as Advent walked past her.

" Piece of cake."

" Advent that was downright mean!" she whispered loudly as they walked along.

" Oh don't get so cold on the shoulder, YOU'RE doing the next one."

She sighed in defeat as they walked along.

XXX

**Victim #2: Phantos the Hedgehog**

Phantos was drinking a soda as he walked along to his room. He sighed as he glanced out a window, smiling. The young hedgehog was already wearing his Halloween costume for the party that night: Vash the Stampede, coat and guns included, from Trigun. He crushed the can on his head and walked back to the end of the hallway to toss it.

Kitten peeked from the stairs, gulping and shaking like a sick cat.

" Alright, now say what I told you to," Advent whispered nearby.

" I can't lie!" she whispered loudly.

" Just read it off of the script then!"

Kitten whimpered as Phantos reached the foot of the stairs and spotted her. He ran over laughing.

" Hey Kitty! You ready for the party?"

She nodded, shaking even worse.

" You alright there, Kat?"

" F-f-f-f-f-ff-f-f-f-f-f-f-fine . . . . ."

He blinked in silence as Advent, on the opposite side of the wall between them, grunted and mouthed the words to Kitten. She gulped and calmed down, breathing heavily. Phantos tapped her shoulder and smirked at her before flashing the love and peace sign traditional of Vash.

" Hey, just chill, Kitty," he laughed.

" Y-you know, your girlfriend . . ." she whispered.

" Huh?"

" Your girlfriend, Phantos . . ." she said louder, shaking again.

" What about my girlfriend?"

He blinked, beginning to sense an insult.

" YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH LUNATIC!" 

She covered ehr mouth in agony and fainted, Phantos being drained of his color, or whatever color was left. His eyes turned a pale gray as he stumbled around, mentally convincing himself that what the girl behind him was not true. He and his beloved had just gotten back together . . . how could she? How could Lunatic?

" I-I can't . . . can't believe that . . . can't . . . .Can't . . . . CAN'T! NOOOOOOOOO!"

He ran off crying and screaming, sad and fearful, dispairing and terrified . . . and somewhere within, vengeful against a certain redhead. There was the cock of a pistol and far off yelling as there were other crashing sounds. Advent laughed and helped Kitten up.

" Hahaha! OH that was genius! Whadda ya think?" he laughed. " I should havegone with the zombie like last year, but otherwise, perfect thanks to you!"

" I hate myself . . ." 

Kitten was sunken again, a dark cloud over her shoulders. Advent blew another raspberry and said," Oh come now . . . I'M not the only one doing this now . . ."

Kitten's eyes sunk in deeply hearing that. She realized the truth: she had also pranked someone. She pranked Phantos, so in her own trains of thought, she was also a pranker this Halloween. This also meant that by proxy, she would end up being punished by DP and the others . . . all eyes on her . . . As her thoughts spiraled, Kitten was rocking back and forth, whimpering those words she said beforehand.

" Oh man, Kitty . . ." Advent sighed and helped her up. " I think I know something that can help you feel better . . ."

" W-What?"

" I buy you gelato, you buy me another prank."

XXX

**Victim #3: Lion's Edge**

The golden eyed Lion's Edge, whom the other Authors had dubbed 'Cubbie' after arriving, was running down the hallway, laughing as he was carrying a large pumkpin shaped bag to his side. The Leonine warrior was already hyper normally as he was, but today of all days was one day where he would really enjoy himself.

Raking in candy was just what he desired.

" Goodbye old armors, Hello winning that candy bet with that Lunatic-blooke!" he snickered and ran into his room.

He was laughing as he entered, but froze once she stepped inside and was soon drained of color.

" Alright, so WHY are we doing this again?" King asked, annoyed.

" Because you owe me man!" Haru yelled.

King, Scorpion, Haru and Dairo were dressed in yellow and red mariachi band outfits, each wielding either a trumpet, barotone, samba horn or something befitting the Spanish to Mexican heritage. They then glanced to Edge and blinked at once.

" Oh, heay Edge!" Dairo said in his hick voice.

Outside nearby, Advent and Kitten were walking by as she was enjoying a gelato cup. Advent gagged when suddenly, screaming and crashing was heard. They froze as they saw Edge run past, followed by the four members, each yelling something antisubmitic. Advent was wide eyed as Kitten dropped her spoon.

" GET THEM AWAY FROM ME OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD OR WHOEVER PLEASE SAVE ME! MARIACHIS ARE EVVIIIIIILLLLL!"

The two blinked at once.

" Aw MAN! There goes my finish!" Advent grumbled.

" There goes my appetite . . ." Kitten gagged.

XXX

** Victim #4: Kamen Rider DIBRAVE**

" I am NOT doing this, Advent! This is where I draw the LINE!"

" TOO bad, sister! You gotta do this!"

" Jerk!"

" We'll fight later! Now put on the fake blood!"

" I'm gonna barf if I do . . ."

" HELL to the no and he's coming around the corner . . ."

" . . . Screw you."

" ONE winged angel?"

" What?"

" I'm gone! Just do what I told you to do!"

" No cameras! I mean it!"

Advent ran around the corner just as Kamen Rider DIBRAVE, aka Marcus Flores, was turning around the opposite corner, humming a bit. He was African American, hair long and tied back to his waist, and was already wearing a Kamen Rider Ryuga costume, holding the helmet in his hands. He was smiling with the tune, and sighing gently.

" Oh man, I have a good feeling about today . . ." he smiled and kept walking, and glimpsed to his right.

He walked along ahead, but suddenly walked behind. He shook as he glanced to the left, gaping and slowly started to hypervenilate.

" Marcuuuuuuuuusss . . ."

Kitten was dragging herself, one armed, other arm completely gone, covered in blood, outfit scratched and torn in seversal places. Her eyes were wide and fear stricken, yet glinted with a heartful of hope. Her mouth was full of the blood, her arm was broken yet she moved, creating a sickening sound as she moved. Her legs were both broken and twitching as she moved forward.

To Marcus, it was a horrible horror-filled heartbreak.

" K-Kitty chan . . .?"

" Marcuusssss . . . help meeee . . ."

He backed up, hypervenilating worse and worse, then ran a ways screaming before fainting.

Silence.

" Advent you jerk!" Kitten said standing up,pupping her arm back into her torn sleeve. " I told you he would do that! THAT is where I completely draw the line! The blood and the clothes were one thing, but the lines and acting was bad enough to make him that scared! I'll be lucky if he's not in a coma by now! I told you, I love Marcus too much to do something like that to him again. It'll take me WEEKS to get over that and now he's gonna think that I'm dead for real, and I'm gonna start thinking that 24-7!"

" Not my fault if he can't handle a joke . . ." Advent laughed holding a camera.

Kitten glared.

" I'm gonna get you back for this I swear it . . ."

" You REALLY got enough audacity to pull that off?"

" . . . Well, no, but I can find SOME way to do it!"

XXX

**Victim #5: Wildrook**

Advent was pacing as he placed a hand to his chin. Kitten mimiced his movements out of sheer boredom, more or less. He sighed and sat down sadly and groaned, placing his scythe to scratch the back of his head. Kitten then floated and sat cross legged, skirt covering her legs completely.

" Man, I can't think of anything to scare Rook with . . ." he tried thinking.

" Maybe you could-"

" GOT IT! Why not pull a Kamen Rider themed scare?"

Kitten was floating off then, headed towards the kitchen. There were sounds as she was busy preparing something.

" NO, no no nononononono . . . he'd see through that in an instant! Gotta come up with something . . ."

There was the sound of a timer and a single giggle as someone was humming a strange and weirdly melodramatic tune.

" Maybe I could sneak pics of him and blackmail him? . . . nah, he'd kill me-what in Heaven's name IS that sound?"

He walked along to the kitchen as Rook was also venturing nearby, white hair gleaming as he also sniffed the air. They peeked in as they saw Kitten hovering over the counter, humming or singing, as she was making something. The aromas that were coming were already in a brighter sense of the word, but there seemed to be a darker undertone . . .

" Yo, Kitty?" Advent asked.

" What on Earth are you making Kitten?" Rook asked.

That was when they heard the lyrics of her song.

_**" You'll be baked into cupcakes. . ."**_

__She was mixing dough as darkness overshadowed her eyes.

_**" That's what I'm planning o-on . . . "**_

__She poured it into the pan, small place by small place, revealing chocolate chips. She hummed out more as she placed them into the oven, revealing deep red patches and an odd smell. Advent and Rook were shaking then. Rook, more or less, was growing paler and paler.

_**" Oh I'll feel sad when you're gone . . . "**_

__She rinsed the bowl in the sink, smirking somewhat . . . offly . . .

_**" Oh we will soon be as o-one . . ."**_

__She stopped singing and turned around, smiling to the two. Her teeth were showing as she asked a question that make Rook's eyes bulge right out of his head.

" So, wanna eat cupcakes?"

" TRISHAAAAAA!" he ran off yelling, looking more loosely minded as usual. "THE NIGHTMARES BACK AGAIN! TRISHAAAA!"

Advent blinked and looked at him running off and slowly turned to Kitten, who was taking the finished cupcakes out of the oven after a period of silence. He blinked as he saw her, smiling and innocently placing icing on each cupcake, as if nothing had happened. He stepped into the kitchen fully and finally broke the silence.

" What . . . the . . . He-"

" He's got a phobia or something of me and my cupcakes . . . wanna try one?" she smiled.

" These aren't flesh filled are they?"

" No."

" WELL then, don't mind if I do!"

Advent took a cupcake and smiled as he took a large bite. In his mouth, it was tasting oddly, but as he swallowed, the pain began. He groaned and gagged, falling to the floor with a pale face and blue overtone. He hacked more and tried not to yack. He writhed in pain, the cupcake's taste and flavors washing over him in pain than with pleasure. Kitten, still nearby, placed her cupcake on the counter, and screamed, trying to get him to stop.

" ADVENT! Oh no, not again! Is there something wrong? What happened?"

He groaned as his stomach gurgled and he turned onto his side.

_' By Jashin's NAME her cooking is bad . . . '_

** XXX**

The Halloween party was now going on in full force, and the Author Fighters were already enjoying the festivities with genius decorating skills, bright and colorful costumes and the wonders of good company. DP and Hikari were together dancing as the others were also in costume and in separate areas. There were several other heroes and heroines in the building, alongside the Metamorphosis team, DJ's Underworld Team, Wildrook's Team, Team Wanderer, and several more. Punch and cookies, alongside the lethal cupcakes on an accidental delivery, were layed out as the music of Hallow's Eves past blared throughout the building.

Tal was trying to get more information on why trolling was illegal, Phantos was chasing down Lunatic, who was already wielding his chakram, Rook was rocking back and forth with Trisha trying to calm him down, and Edge was avoiding the Metaguys.

" I'm telling you man, do NOT eat that," Advent said to Marcus, who was sitting down and still recovering from beforehand.

" And I'm telling you, if Kitty-chan made it, then I'm gonna eat it!" he smiled.

Advent groaned and sat down. " Dude, HUGE mistake."

" Nope!"

" YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"

" Fat chance."

" Prove it then."

" What goes on?" King asked walking over, dressed as Alphonse Elric in his suit of armor. " Man this suit is painful!"

Marcus was already eating the cupcake as he came over and said, mouthful, " Hey King."

King went bug-eyed.

" Your funeral dude . . ."

Marcus shrugged, then gurgled as he fell flat, grabbing his gutt as he groaned and coughed the chewed up cupcake back out. King patted his back and helped him back up. Advent walked off as King pulled out an antacid and a few ibuprofen.

" It's good going down, but there's no way an angel can be that much of a demon in the kitchen . . ."

" Get over it, Romeo . . .'

Advent, dressed as Jashin as he said he would have been, yawned as he walked past Shelby who was smiling oddly with Jose. Ross was also laughing as Advent passed by, the young appearing boy looking confused. He shrugged it off and walked past the Manhatten Street Fighters, who spit out their punch and laughed loudly as he walked along, irritating him even more. As he walked past the others in each room, they were laughing at him, mocking him, even cutting him down to size and to the insane core he was made out of. Needless to say, it had torture written all over it.

" ALRIGHT," he growled walking over towards another group," WHY the JASHIN is everyone here LAUGHING at me?"

" This," someone showed him.

He gasped as he glanced at the man's iPhone, which showed an embarrasing yet familiar snapshot of Advent wearing a petticoat dress, a bunny hat and the bonnet in Kitten's room as he was sitting in the same chair as he was beforehand. There was even text underneath the picture that read THE REAL ADVENT.

" Whoever posted this is gonna die . . ."

He pulled out his scythe and started to run out of the room, one thought on his mind.

** " KITTY YOU ARE DEAD!"**

** XXX**

Kitten was talking to Dawn, Phoenix and Rin, who were dressed as a vampiress, Marluxia and Raven from the Teen Titans respectively. Kitten was dressed as Stocking from Panty and Stocking with Garderbelt, however her hair was longer and her dress was blue instead of black.

" So why didn't he run then?" she asked Dawn.

" Because, he was petrified by my werewolf form, so I just- Advent?"

Advent pointed his scythe at Kitten then, growling and red eyed with richeous fury. Kitten backed up shaking as Phoenix and Dawn held him back.

" Advent what the Kingdom Hearts II?" Phoenix yelled.

" Holy . . ." Rin yelped.

" What did I do?" Kitten cried.

" YOU UPLOADED THAT PIC!"

" I never had a camera! YOU did! Ross did!"

" YOU KNOW THEN!"

" I remember Ross had a camera so maybe he uploaded that pic!"

" SO YOU SAW IT!"

" I never said I saw it! I remember he took a picture and then I asked for it!"

" SO YOU DID UPLOAD IT!"

" I was sparing you humiliation!"

" This is gonna get nasty," Dawn mumbled.

Advent then sighed and dropped his scythe, just as the girls let go, saying," Ah you know, Kitty, I was wrong . . . and now I'm gonna BEAT YOU DOWN!"

Kitten screamed and flew off upstairs, Advent following and running quickly after her.

XXX

They turned, twisted, crossed paths and ran back and forth. Kitten blasted him with minor ice bullets as Advent swung at her. Each of them missed multiple times and they reached the edge of the hallway where Kitten's room was, the scene of the crime and the scene where the day had begun for their pranks and scares. Kitten dove inside and Advent followed after.

" Just admit it Kitten, you wanted to see me suffer!" he said, circling with her.

" No, I didn't upload it! I'm not mean like that, but if you wanna see me mean like that, then you will!" she said them kicked him in the gutt.

He coughed and spat, as everything went in slow motion. She was suspended, still kicking, slowly separating, as Advent was slowly being driven into the back wall where a hill of plushies from carious animes was lying. He landed in them, being coated in practically poofy plushies and contagiously cute characters. Kitten slowly landed on the ground, ice dragon wings outstretched and hands now clenched in fists.

He jerked upward in annoyance.

" Who keeps piles of plushies in their room like this? HONESTLY!"

" Oh don't you talk about my plushies! I like plushies!" Kitten said cowardly now, returning to normal.

Silence.

" That is the f*ckest thing I have ever heard, Ice-beard the Dragon."

" Ice hearted Jashin!"

" Dragon humping monkey!"

" Giving you my wings up . . ." she spun around, and jerked them upwards, smirking," at full force!"

" Horror whore!"

" Jashin loving piercer!"

" Innocent of the Devil!"

" Fefifoflip you off!"

" Dragon Wagon creaker!"

" Roddle roddle roddle!"

" ' Oh look at me I'm an innocent little dragon girl who's obsessed with things that are way beyond my comprehension and I like horror but hide that from others who see that fit!"

" DICK!"

" Tail knocker!"

" . . . Jerk."

" . . . THAT' S IT!"

The two then started a dust cloud fight on the floor, pulling hair and tails and nerves, tendons, breaking bones, and whatnot. The noise of their argument and the fighting was enough to get someone to come to the door, which was busted down with anger and magical energy. They stopped and were stunned with a sudden yell.

" WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?"

Kitten and Advent froze as they turned upward adn saw DP glaring at the both of them, dressed as the Grim Reaper.

Silence.

" Ironic and dumb to say, but . . . appropriate costume?" Advent laughed nervously.

" Have mercy please . . ." Kitten whimpered.

XXX

Advent and Kitten were hanging upside down from the ceiling in the foyer, Advent looking very irritated as Kitten was crying. They were tied up using hemp ropes, still in their Halloween costumes.

" I NEVER WANNA PULL PRANKS AGAIN! GET ME DOWN!"

" Bah I hate Halloween now . . ."

Lunatic walked past them and stopped, shrugged, then walked on.

" Guess I owe X and Ranger ten bucks . . . they was right . . ."

_With apologiez to everyone._


	9. The Marriage of Kamalia and Jiro, Part I

_And here we are, part 1 of Dawn and Jiro's two-shot wedding! This is a special event, so let's all be polite and accept it as it comes! XD I only own Kitten and the Metagang, please read and review, and thank you!_

" Oh wow this place is fantastic!"

A magnificent ballroom was decorated all over in Greek styled comuns, lace and banners, tables covered in egg-shell white table clothes, plates decorated with swan and dove napkins left and right, all done up with a large crystal chandelier in the center of the ceiling.

The only other people in the room at the second were DP, TL and Air. Hikari was helping a familiar blue-haired dragon teen wheel a large ice sculpture in, obviously looking drained. TL was whistling as he walked around.

It was perfect. Simply stated, it was perfect.

It was as if a miracle had occured, if the Gods themselves had blessed the room.

Kamalia was aghast, alongside Jiro, who was beginning to laugh.

" What do you think?" he snickered.

" I-I never imagined anything LIKE this!" she began to spin. " Now I know what my mother was talking about when she said her wedding was one of the best days of her life! I love this!"

Jiro spun her around then grabbed her by her finger, leaning her back, then forward onto her feet.

" I was expecting this to be at Castle Doran . . . maybe with a Japanese theme . . . but this ballroom . . . " Jiro laughed, then yelled to DP," We love it you old Magicianmon!"

DP sighed and cocked his head over with," I haven't been called that in years, dude. Otherwise, glad you do."

He looked back up, adding," It took a few calls and I had to pull a few strings, but NO one, and I mean NO one in the FAF will wanna miss Dawn's Wedding."

" Dang straight," TL walked past them gawking.

Kamalia grimaced, hearing her former name. The group knew her real was Kamalia, but calling her 'Dawn' . . . it had become old and dry, like carrion. And yet, considering they still called her by the nickname, it was still nice.

" Right, Dawn-chan," Hikari panted, then sat down.

" YOu alright there Hikari?" DP asked her.

" Yes, Sempai," she sighed. " That sculpture is heavy . . ."

TL turned to King, who was writing something down as he glanced around. King smirked as he placed the paper in his pocket and grabbed the sheet.

" Alright, Godzilla, wqhat's the big idea with this?" he asked.

" If I had a nickel - THIS is something I made for Dawn-"

Growls.

" Heh, _Kamalia_ and Jiro for their wedding," King shivered. " Behold!"

King yanked the sucker off, revealing a fairly large ice sculpture, shaved and crystal clear, of Kamalia and Jiro ballroom dancing. The bride in a long flowing gown, the groom in a tuxedo of pure silk, dancing their night away into the twilight years.

" How is this bad boy?" he smirked, placing a hand on the base. " ONly took me ten hours."

Kamalia and Jiro gasped at once. DP and Hikari were blinking.

" Remind me WHY you were doing this again?" Dawn asked him.

King blinked and laughed heartedly.

" Don't you remember?"

XXX~

" Hey Dawn?"

Kamalia glanced over to Kitten, halfway looking through a bridal magazine. She was thumbing through a page about Greek wedding gowns and was halfway through a section about one with purple petticoats when her eyes darted back to Kitten.

" S-Sorry to bother you . . ."

" Oh, uh, hey Kitten . . . " she said, then closed the mini-book on her thumb. " What is it?"

" I had an idea," she smirked. " About yours and Jiro's wedding . . . "

" O-kay . . . ?"

" A friend of mine overheard me talking about it," Kitten was twirling her foot, continuing," and he wants to know if he can make an ice sculpture for you and Jiro . . . "

Kamalia blinked, then sighed.

_' Ice sculpture? Well, if it was his idea, whoever the 'he' is here . . .and if Jiro's alright with this . . . '_

" Well, why not?"

" YAY!" Kitten jumped and hugged her. " THANKS DAWN! You won't regret it!"

" Kamalia . . . " she sighed.

Kitten paled and said," Hehehehe, right . . . Kamalia . . . my bad bye!"

She dashed out fo teh room, the gust opening the magazine back to the page. Kamalia blinked as her hair fell back into place, still dazed.

" How do I have a feeling that will be a problem?"

XXX~

Kamalia blinked and groaned," Oh yeah . . . now I remember . . ."

A sudden boom ehcoed, as laughter was heard. The Authors turned around to the doorway, seeing a laughing Japanese looking teen wearing a school boy uniform run past, laughing his head off.

" WORTH IT!" he laughed," WORTH IT!"

" Ramon . . ." Jiro groaned.

DJ ran after him, covered in ink, scythe a blaze.

" GET BACK HERE YOU CODFISH! I'M GONNA SLICE YOU INTO SUSHI!"

The others laughed awkwardly, Jiro graoning and rubbing his forehead. Dawn blinked twice and glanced to Jiro.

" Think it was a bad idea to have Ramon as the ring-bearer?" Dawn asked.

" Yes, but that doesn't technically explain why the heck Ramon pranked DJ that badly . . ." Jiro sighed.

" Insanity here is just about as normal as day and night," DP groaned, walking out with Hikari.

Hikari had her hand in DP's, smiling. A bright bedazzling diamond ring was on her fingers, a reminder of the winter proposal and the fact that their own wedding would be only a few short weeks away.

The others left as Dawn kissed Jiro's cheek.

" I can't wait for this," she smirked.

" Me neither," he smirked back.

XXX

Lunatic sneezed, tieing a bow around his neck, as Advent and Edge were helping him comb his hair down on both sides. Their pink faced efforts were worth it as his spiked hair was slowly being tamed.

" MAN this is degrading . . ."

" YOU'RE not the one with the comb in hand . . . ." Edge and Advent echoed.

" Point taken . . ."

They stopped as his hair finally stuck . . . until it sprung out with a loud DOING!

" OH COME ON!" Lunatic yelled.

" Dang it all . . ." Advent snickered.

" Man, bad!" Edge laughed, falling over.

Jiro was standing in front of a mirror, smirking. He was dressed in a black suede tux, with a deep black bow-tie around his neck. His hair was slicked back, shoes polished, Italian scent and finish . . . he looked more like he was from The Godfather.

" Damn," Ross laughed, appearing in a purple tuxedo. " You look like a million bucks, Jiro. Imagine the look on Kam's face."

The Pokemorph smirked as the werewolf stumbled, not losing his cool exterior.

" Oh man . . . you had to remind me about that, didn't you?" he growled.

" Yes," he smirked, then stepped up onto the platform and patted his shoulder. " It'll be good, J. Just keep calm."

A sudden screech of a scream eminated through the male dressing rooms as the other male Authors appeared. DJ ran yelping from his dressing room as he was scatter-dancing of sorts, grabbing the tail of his tuxedo, cloak still on, and was yelping throughout.

" Hey guys! Deej's invented a new dance!" Ramon laughed, appearing in a dark blue tuxedo, tugging at the collar. " It's the Black Ice Fever!"

" I-I'm g-g-gonna k-kill you-ou!" DJ shivered, grabbing his scythe. " Your immort-tal soul is-s m-mine fish-boy!"

" Idiot," a Japanese man said, appearing in a gangster style suit, gruff appearance.

" Thanks for that, Rikki," Ross said.

Ramon laughed as DJ swung, just as DP appeared in a deep blue suede and grabbed the hood of his cloak. He then used his staff and spaced the two away from each other.

" No fighting in here guys," DP said sternly. " This is a high class place, NOT the bar down the street . . . either work this out or I teleport you both BACK to the HQ."

" Way to govern, Chief," Air said, giving him a thumb's up.

" Thanks," DP smiled, then grimaced. " Why aren't you trying on a tux yet?"

" I-I don't do tuxedos . . ."

" Neither do I . . ." Rook said.

DP blinked at them twice.

" We're all guys, here," DP said. " It's not like there are female peeping toms . . . as if those even exist outside of perversions . . . then again, it doesn't seem like a bad thing . . . "

" Do you know who you sound like right now?" Ranger asked, stepping out wearing a dark green tuxedo. " Why is it that these things are always so stiff when they're brand new?"

" Who?"

" Sheldon Cooper," Ranger said.

" Hey!" Rook laughed.

" Yeah, see that guy gets it, and he's more Sheldon Cooper than you are, DP."

" HEY!"

" Heh . . ."

Marcus stepped out in a slick tuxedo, smirking. He folded the collar down as Temhota stepped out across from him, smiling into a mirror. He flipped the collar down as the two caught eyes.

Instant sparks of conflict.

" WHAT the hell is going on?" DP and Ranger asked at once.

" Something about Kitty . . ." Rook snickered.

" She's all theirs . . ." Lunatic rolled his eyes. " We may be best friends, but I now see she's NUTS!"

" Amen, brother," Advent said.

" Not really . . ." Edge rolled his own eyes.

They pressed their foreheads together, the sparks still flying as they pushed each other back and forth, growling.

" She WILL be mine, you Canadian darkness tank!" Marcus hissed.

" She likes me more, Kamen Rider Lamo-eh!"

" NICE crack . . ." Rook groaned.

" Anyone else seeing a season three Hetalia reference here?" TL asked, appearing with a black tux on as well.

DP pulled them apart as well, sighing.

" CAN'T you two settle this without causing a scene? Then again, can you both settle this in a LESS violent manner? And over KITTEN no less? What the hell?"

The two glanced to the floor in misery. Ranger shook his ehad as Jiro sighed, slapping his forehead.

" Sorry, Jiro," a few guys said.

" Insanity on a wedding day . . . why am I not surprised?"

XXX

" I do NOT feel comfortable . . ." Dawn coughed out.

" What was that, dollface?"

" T-Tight!"

A woman tightened a strap around a corset, making her face turn bright blue. She loosened the strap after glancing up, and quickly undid the painful clothes.

" Oh . . . oh man . . ."

" Sorry, doll," she said, nearly laughing. " I don't really have much that DOESN'T use the corset, but I do have ONE dress that would work . . ."

" I'll take it . . . to-to . . . to avoid . . . that evil thing . . ." Dawn groaned, coughing and taking deep breaths.

" I'll get it, doll!"

The woman ran off, her frazzled hair flowing behind her. Dawn sat down in her normal clothes. She took out her cell phone communicator of the FAF, purple casing, and sighed as she texted Jiro.

_" Having a hard time finding a dress that doesn't take my breath away. Not a euphemism. Have good luck, baby. - Dawn."_

" This dress is frilly," Phoenix said, walking out from her dressing room.

Her dress was the same as the other bridesmaids, a Greecian fabric-dress with light purple silk over the seams, laces stretching to the floor, satin of pure pearl inbetween each seam, semi-toga straps and came with sandals of fake cow leather from Greece.

" So?" Dawn smiled. " You look great! It fact I-"

" NOT what I meant . . . can't I just get something . . . ya know . . . LESS frilly?"

" If I can cope, you have to as well, Phoenix . . ."

" Crap."

A friend of Kamalia's, Jill, stepped out, brushing hair out from her eyes, as Hikari Ino also walked out, wearing an elegant white lacey dress. She walked up to where Kamalia was sulking and smiled.

" Nervous or just upset you don't have a good dress yet?" Jill asked.

" Little of both . . ."

" You'll get over it, Kam," she smiled.

A fragile girl walked out of another dressing room, tugging at her waist. Being a Sailor Scout, she was used to wearing an outfit like it, but one that drenched to her feet in a silky fashion was already new to her.

" Hotaru, how are you holding up?"

" W-Well . . ." she said, then slowly blushed, saying" I just hope Ramon doesn't think I look ridiculous . . ."

Kamalia and JIll laughed alongside a few other Authorettes as the same woman from before stepped back, carrying a flowing Greecian styled gown. She stood up, as if hypnotized, and allowed the woman to help her slip it on.

It fit like a glove.

" How about this, doll-face?"

Kamalia gasped, seeing there were no straps, it covered much needed areas, a long royal-purple stripe with studs and beautiful sparkles coating the center line spread down the middle of her back and the cover of her bust was royal blue-purple.

" Perfect."

" Great!" the woman dashed off happily yelling. " Be right back doll!"

Hotaru gave her a thumb's up. Kitten stepped out next to her, sighing, wearing the same dress as Phoenix, Hotaru and Jill, braid slung over her shoulder like a shawl.

" Do all bridesmaids wear the same outfit?"

" Sadly," Kamalia said.

" Ah . . . thanks for helping to explain . . ." she sighed, the smiled at her. " You look amazing, Kamalia!"

" Thanks," she smiled, blushing lightly. " I-I guess I do . . . "

" Guess? Of COURSE you do!" JIll laughed, then said, " Tomorrow, you will be the star . . . and Jiro will be your audience."

Kamalia smiled, feeling her blush work over her face. She then touched her cheek, thinking of the incoming day.

" That reminds me," Phoenix turned to Kitten, " how does it feel to be fought over by two guys?"

Kitten blinked, then suddenly laughed.

" Good one, Phoenix, for a second there, I thought you were . . . joking . . . you aren't, are you?"

" No, no I am not," she said flatly.

Kitten paled as Kamalia tried not to laugh.

" Huh?"

XXX

Clangs and clanks of dishes and silverware were discharging all around the ballroom, the FAF spread around with guests in the wings on each end. Couples were all around, several dishes were already out for the rehearsal dinner and everyone was enjoying the food.

" So, why call it a rehearsal dinner when the real-deal isn't until tomorrow night?" X asked, smirking as he swished a glass of red wine.

" I do not know, why?" TSS laughed, leaning in.

X blinked beneath his mask, placing the glass down.

" I was being serious, why DO they have a rehearsal like this when the real dinner is the night after?"

TSS sighed as he was already back to eating.

" No idea . . . good manners and priorities?"

Nukid was steaming as he peeked over to where Kamalia and Jiro were sitting, laughing across from DP and Hikari, eating together . . . Oh how he was loathing the man for marrying the same stunning creature he had lusted after for so long . . .

" Nukid?" Tia asked, tapping him on the shoulder with her knife.

" YIKES!" he nearly jumped out of his chair.

" Are you alright?" she asked, nearly emotionless.

" Just hating Jiro . . ."

" Huh?"

" He wants Dawn as well," X sighed, then said," Nukes, face facts. Give up, she's marrying him tomorrow, so you can't necessarily keep this hatred act up."

" WHAT act, man?" he groaned, downing his third glass of wine. " Bad enough I've played second banana to a guy who has fleas for more than one fanfiction for her affection, but WHY in God's name is she marrying THAT sack of stench and not me? What do I lack?"

Silence, clatter and chatter around.

" The capacity to shut up?" Tia asked annoyed.

" There's a word for that, oh what is it, oh yeah . . . BURN!" Tal laughed, then drank soda. " Want some ice for it?"

" Shut up . . ."

Nukid downed more wine as a slight blush worked over his face.

" I-I'm gonna give him a piece of m-my mind tomorroah . . . "

" You're drunk," the others said.

" You're all my friends . . ." he started crying.

" Dear God . . ." TSS sighed.

DJ was getting ready to drink from his glass when the liquid suddenly poured from an odd place on it, right onto his crotch. He gasped and blinked surprised, a few people laughing.

" What the- RAMON!"

" I do it again with a dribble glass!"

TSS rubbed his head.

" Heaven help us."

XXX

Kitten sighed, as she poked her salad gently, Phoenix sighing with her.

" Ah come on, Kitty, girls want guys to fight over them!" she smiled. " This just means you appeal to more than one guy!"

" This girl doesn't enjoy it . . . I'm only into one of the two guys . . ."

Her eyes even said so, but she was already unwavering to the fights between the two previous boys. Kamalia peeked over to her, far left, and nodded, seeing only a mirror.

It was almost as if history was repeating itself.

" Marcus and Tem fighting over you may seem odd, but just follow your heart," she said, smiling.

Kitten peeked up at her.

" What would you know considering this type of thing? This is just, no, this is _similar _to when King and Scorpion fought over me, and after Lunatic, I-I'm not sure if a second shot at love will work . . ." Kitten said bluntly.

" How do you know it's love?"

She blushed deeply and said," I felt as if there was a musical moment in my head, my heart stopped momentarily when I looked at him, and I knew . . . he was the one . . ."

Kam whistled as she said," Took me a while to warm up to Jiro."

" Who are you trying to kid?" he laughed at her. " You loved me when we first met."

Kitten smiled as she asked," So, back . . ."

" Right," she said," Nukid and Jiro have been fighting over me for years, and soon it'll be resolved. I love Jiro, you love one of them, so go for it. Tell him and make him your man."

Kitten bowed her head over the table gently as Phoenix laughed.

" Thanks, Dawn," she smiled.

" You're like a little sister to me, Kitty, don't forget it," she smirked, " BUT if either one of those jerks does anything to you, purpose or otherwise, I'll wring their necks until they have their lives drained completely."

XXX

Marcus and Temhota suddenly shivered.

" Why do I have a feeling someone wants to kill me?" Marcus shivered up his spine, fork in hand with a meatball attached.

" Likewise, eh?"

XXX

The conversation died, giving way to mini ones. Kam smiled, then frowned slowly, peering over to Nukid, then back at DP and Hikari and the others, then all around, feeling rushed and slightly overwhelmed.

Here she was, already in college, an FAF member, and getting married . . . was all of this happening too fast? Would things go wrong? Would the insanity of everyone else just . . . finally make her crack like Rook?

" Kam?"

She turned with a jerk to Jiro, shaking a bit, saying," Huh?"

" Anything wrong?"

" N-No . . . I'm fine . . ."

" Kam . . ."

She sighed, glancing down. Jiro smiled at Kamalia, placing a hand on hers.

" I assure you, Kam, tomorrow will be one of the best days of your life, and do not forget it."

She smiled at him, then shoved him playfully.

" Jiro, you dog," she laughed. " You're great, but I can't help but feel there's gonna be insanity in the midst . . ."

She glanced out, seeing friends and family from all sides and areas. Everyone was enjoying themselves, and having a wonderful and engaging time.

" I can't help but feel it . . . "

_ To be continued through the B-story and Part II!_


	10. Valentine's Day Dating Woes

_Here's a sweet Valentine's day chapter that serves as a B-Story to Dawn and Jiro's wedding two-shot. Remember, this is just an AU, so no one please get mad at this . . . Anyways, I only own Kitten, please read, review and no flames. Thank you!_

The wonderful scent of pollen and flowers flowed throughed the air with a sweet wave of a new feeling, which flew through the streets of LA, leading up to a familiar building on the scapes. Hearts were hanging in store windows, people were laughing heardily and bells were ringing in the distance.

It was only one day to Valentine's Day, and the special event of the Authoress Kamalia and her fiance, Jiro.

Their wedding day.

But, the day beforehand, plans were being made for dates and other such things, thus, no one would miss the event.

Author HQ was already appearing new and bright, hearts and small Valentine's trinkets being hung delicately from precious perches. Banners and streamers were being hung already.

" Man, I can't believe Dawn and Jiro are tying the knot!" TL said as he hung a heart. He then murmured," Now if only I could work up that kind of nerve to ask Hanabi . . ."

Wildrook was beside him, looking at the decor.

" Yeah," he said," but don't turn your wedding into an insanity fest, like mine and Trisha's turned out."

TL blinked.

" Huh?"

" Do not ask . . ."

Ranger walked into the room, carrying his gun. He blinked as he glanced left and right, then sighed, still wary and on the look out. He sighed once more as he walked along, right past TL and Rook.

" What's with him?" Rook asked.

" He doesn't go for love," TL said plainly.

Ranger nodded as he double took, and said," Shut up TL we all can't have love in our lives . . . or in Rook's case MORE than one love . . ."

" YOU HAVE NO PROOF!"

" Sure, but then why did you respond that way?" Ranger smirked.

Rook blinked and slapped his face as Tal's laughter echoed, a trololol echoing after. TL snickered and walked off, mumbling something about meeting up with Hanabi before the wedding.

" You have just been trolled, good sir," Ranger laughed, then coughed and added," But in all seriousness, NO, I do NOT go for girls on Valentine's Day. Who needs love when you have a kickass team, a more kickass ship and a sweet ass gun?"

Rook rolled his eyes, saying," The same guy who's beaten dozens of girls into a pulp?"

" Those were yaoi fangirls and that was different, Mister Snippy," Ranger growled.

" Look, can we NOT do this before Dawn's wedding?" Rook sighed," Last thing I wanna do is, if anything, cause another incident. I was looking forward to giving her away at her wedding."

Rok fixed up a Cupid figurem and left Ranger in one spot as he spat out a laughter fit, choking out in the nidst of it," Oh-o-oh man dude! ROSS will be doing that! ROSS will."

" Fudge a DUCK . . ."

Ranger breathed a sigh as the other Authors were moving about, talking and already preparing for the ensuing day and wedding. They stood in silence before leaning against the wall in a romance-less agony.

" So . . . who's single beside you again?" Rook asked.

" OH good sweet God not again . . ."

Ranger slapped his face as Ranger thought.

" DP and Hikari," Rook counted off on his fingers, " Trisha and I, Jose and Shelby, TL and Hanabi, ErinBubble and Tails, X and Tia, TSS and . . . what was that girl's name?"

" Hell if I remember," Ranger said, yawning.

Rook yawned from the plague and continued on," Edge and Yuffie have slight attractions even IF the poor sap can't even sense it, Marcus and Kitten . . . and D-Dude and Meredith."

" HELL NO . . ."

Ranger was aghast. Rook's serious eyes were making his sanity crack as well, demonstrating well enough how much insanity one man could take before being broken.

That was what the Metagang did to you.

" So, are there ANY single members?" Ranger asked," Aside from myself and Quill?"

" Hey!" Quill steamed, appearing in a doorway. " What's that supposed to mean?"

" Let's face it, Quill, you have the worst luck with women," the two men said at once.

" He- . . . actually you guys may have a point . . . BUT I LOVE LENA LEE!"

He ran off, leaving behind a silence.

" So, back to what I was saying . . ."

XXX

" Alright . . . what do you have?"

" You first, I insist . . ."

DJ smirked as he glanced over to Ramon, who was snickering. The mini-game of Poker was nearly at an end, and they had wager something that neither wanted: ringbearer at Kamalia's Wedding.

" You lose, you have the right of being kicked by Jiro for losing the ring," Ramon sniped. " Trust me . . . I do NOT wanna be under the boot of a werewolf . . ."

" Fat chance, gill breath . . . I'll have you know, I have a good winning streak!"

DJ smirked as he threw the cards down.

His blatant bluff and blatant lie. It was all he had . . . and with his luck, he needed another chance of it.

" Two pair!"

" Royal flush!"

DJ gasped, gagging on his face being owned. Ramon laughed as he handed a silken purple throw-pillow into his face.

" Nice try, Reaper," he walked off.

DJ blinked, then glared.

" Wait a sec- YOU CHEATER! GET BACK HERE!"

DJ grabbed his scythe and ran after Ramon, yelling, " I'M GONNA GET YOU!"

XXX

Marcus shivered as he peeked from the side of the wall, seeing Kitten smiling and talking to Phoenix about the bridesmaids outfits. His knees twitched as he sighed.

" Okay, you can do this, Marcus . . . "

He glanced to his hands, where a bouquet of blue roses lay. He smiled as he sprung them up, then then shrugged the pose off. He posed once again as he shoved them forward, a smug look on his face, but sniffed and groaned it off.

" Ah to the heck with that, I'll wing it . . . alright, checklist . . . breath?"

He huffed and sniffed, smirking.

" Good," he said," flowers?"

He glanced to the roses.

" Check . . . self-confidence?"

Silence.

" OH hell no I cannot do this!" he stepped back and forth, gulping twice. " I-I can't . . . what if she rejects me? What if she just flat out laughs at me? I heard what Rook said beforehand and I do NOT wanna end up like LOONY!"

Lunatic passed by him, saying," She's all yours, man . . . everyone knows about how you like her, dude . . ."

Marcus turned bright red as he hid the roses behind his back, glancing left and right.

" Ah fack . . . that obvious?"

" DUH."

Lunatic laughed as he turned the corner. Marcus gulped a third time, and sighed.

" Ah man . . . "

He peeked back at Kitten, who sparkled to him. His eyes were hearts as he stepped out, still shaking.

" Here goes nothing . . ."

XXX

In the shadows, parallel to where Marcus was having a mini-breakdown, Temhota Tech was watching and waiting, also holding onto a small bouquet of chrysantemums. He gulped as he glanced over to Kitten, who was laughing heartedly with Phoenix.

He wiped the sweat from his brow as his head was abuzz with his rampant and overwhelming thoughts.

" I can do this . . . I can do this . . . if I can get through with what happened earlier with Dawn and I, I can tell her how I feel . . ."

He glanced back at her as she pulled her braid over her shoulder.

" The one person who stayed friends with me when I needed one . . . the one person who I see as another like me . . . "

He glanced to the bouquet and gritted his teeth.

" She will be mine . . . "

" WHAT was that, TT?"

He jumped, panting against the wall, as Phantos appeared, crossing his arms. Tem gulped and calmed down, then hand pulling away from his back pocket. He placed his arms to his sides, face in a moaning look.

" OH, Phantos, nice that it's you instead of someone else, no offense . . ."

" None taken," Phantos waved a hand. " But, what was the comment you made before? About Kitty-kat?"

Tem was bright red.

" Nothing!" he squeaked.

Silence.

" Really, now?" Phantos smirked.

Tem glared lightly, asking," How much?"

" 20 bucks."

" Highway robbery, eh!"

" Then tell her man, or else I will," he laughed, walking off.

Tem glared after the hedgehog, then sighed, turning back to Kitten. As his grip tightened, he started forward, eyes solely on his prize. The flowers were nearly broken in half, straight with the stem.

" Alright, eh, here I go . . ."

XXX

Kitten laughed with Phoenix, who continued her jokes. They were already getting ready to leave for the dress fitting for the wedding the next day. Kitten wiped a tear away and sighed as Phoenix snickered more.

" And it's that bad! It's just stinky!"

" I know, right?" Kitten laughed, then suddenly stopped," What are we talking about again?"

" Not sure . . . was it the fact that Lunatic always stinks after he eats burritos, or was it that fact that Advent always stinks after a sacrifice?"

" I think we were talking about the garbage dump downtown . . . can we change the subject?"

" Yes . . . you read the new Reborn?" Phoenix asked.

The two boys walked over, bowed, and presented the flowers to Kitten on both sides, inhaling and asking at once.

" WILL YOU BE MY DATE?"

Kitten blinked, blue rosed to her left and chrysanthemums to her right. She sniffled and sneezed twice, blinking between them. Phoenix was laughing them, seeing the two boys peek up over her head, and over the flowers.

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" they yelled at each other.

Silence.

" I'M ASKING KITTEN TO DAWN'S WEDDING/EH!" they yelled in unison once more.

Silence.

" STOP THAT!" they yelled in unison.

" This is weird . . ." Kitten said, shaking.

" This is funny," Phoenix grabbed ehr sides, walking off laughing.

Tem and Marcus glared at each other as sparks flew instantly. They whipped out a gun on each side, Kitten ducking with her hands over her head as they backed up, aiming at each other. Anger and desire flew freely in their eyes.

" I'm gonna shoot you in the kneecaps!" Marcus yelled.

" I'm gonna shoot your arms off, eh!" Tem yelled.

" Then I'll use my tongue, and shoot your neck!" Marcus yelled back, finger puling on the safety.

" THEN I'll fire at your forehead!" Tem yelled back, his voice becoming raspy.

" THEN I'LL SHOOT YOUR WANG OFF!"

" ENOUGH!" Kitten roared.

The two clammed up as she got back on her shaky feet, dropping the guns. They were all bright red as Kitten ran off, shaking, nearly crying. Marcus and Temhota leaned in after her, remorse on both faces.

" Ah man . . . " Marcus whimpered. " I hate to see her like that . . ."

" Likewise, reminds me of a sad and lost kid . . . Я не хочу видеть, как она плакала так."

" WHAT?" Marcus freaked.

" Learn Russian, eh!" he yelled back," I said I hate to see her that way . . . "

" That's what I just said!" he yelled, grabbing his gun," SO gonna shoot you in the kneecaps!"

Tem reached for his gun, but when he tried to pull it up, he was stuck to the floor. Marcus suddenly dropped his own gun as Tem's eyes darted up to the ceiling, which now seemed . . . dimmer. As his eyes scrolled up, he saw a familiar Author blocking the light.

" WHAT the hell are you two doing?" Rook asked, raising a white brow.

They were silent.

" I overheard it from Phoenix."

" AH frag . . ." Marcus groaned.

" You know then?" Tem asked him flatly.

He nodded.

" Fighting over a woman isn't the best way to solve this . . . especially when the said woman has a predisposed fear of guns and locks herself up in her room next to a bear and MLP poster at the mere mention of the words 'MK 62'," Rook, tossing the guns aside, continued.

" Neither is having a curse on you from Bastet, Twinkle Toes," Marcus rolled his eyes, snickering.

" SHUT up about that," Rook growled.

" Neither is catching coitus more than once in twenty four hours!"

" What?" Tem asked, confused.

Rook then coughed, bright red on his cheek tips, and he said," Why not just ask her yourselves at Dawn's wedding?"

Silence.

" I-I was planning to ask her TO the wedding," Marcus said.

" Likewise, eh, or I could have used Blopside."

" NO," the other two growled low.

" Fair enough . . ."

Rook sighed and pinched his nerve, saying, " Decide it with her opinion in mind, otherwise, the Big Brother Brigade will have to go Kamina on your asses."

" Huh?" the two asked confused.

" Quill, Deej and I."

" Oh . . ."

There was a sudden death chill as he left, leaving behind a stready threat. Marcus shivered, then coughed, extending his hand to Tem.

" So, we'll see tomorrow who has her heart and hand?" he smirked. " If I win, I promise to not shoot you in the kneecaps."

Silence.

" May the best man win, eh," Tem said, firmly grasping his hand.

They had their fingers crossed behind their backs.

XXX

Dawn was laying down in bed, starting up at the ceiling.

" Let tomorrow go as well as it can . . . and I hope to GOD that Nukid doesn't cause something with Jiro . . ."

She turned onto her side, then smiled lightly before falling asleep. Her heart was beating slower with her thoughts.

" Yeah, tomorrow will go great. What do I have to worry about?"

XXX

Jiro was laying on his own bed, staring up at the ceiling as well. He sighed and glanced towards his tuxedo nearby, starched and pressed for tomorrow. He smiled as he glanced to his nightstand, where the rings lay on a pillow.

" Tomorrow will be the best day of our lives . . . I just know it, Kamalia . . . I just know it . . ."

_Continued in Part II of Dawn and Jiro's wedding! XD_


	11. The Marriage of Kamalia and Jiro Part II

_Here's the part II to Dawn and Jiro's virtual wedding! This will be fantastic, so to all you lovebirds out there who want me to write more wedding fics I'd be more than happy to, considering I'm also doing one for DP/Hikari, Jose/Shelby and Marcus/Myself~! I only own Kitten and the Metagang so please read, review and no flames. Thank you! XD_

Bells were ringing in the distance as the sun was rising, sending beautiful beams of light into the stain glass windows of the church. Banners were brightly lit, the columns were shining brightly, and the brightest thing was yet to come.

Birds flew past, cars were coming and few were leaving, and a few askew news crews were placed all around, already prepping cameras and buzzing microphones. Chatter and idle platter were scattered, with the same statements on everyone's lips . . .

" How much longer until the cake?" Lion's Edge groaned, dressed in a stiff tuxedo. " I can already taste it . . . "

He and a few other Authors had arrived at the church early to help prepare the festivities, and to get the reception ready for when the wedding march had ended.

He tugged as his bowtie, wiped up his drool, and gagged out," Man this thing is harsh - I was looking forward to that cake!"

" Cake, cake, cake . . . that's all you've been talking about, Cub," Lunatic said, also gagging from his dickey collar. " I'd agree but right now, this is all about Jiro and Da- DANG it you were right! This thing has WAY too much starch or SOMETHING!"

The other Authors were preparing as everyone arrived at the church, some in limos, some by flying, some by other methods.

" Outta the way!" Ranger said, skidding to a halt on his motorcycle, jumping off as it powered down, and just as the news crews descended upon him like kill. " Outta the way you vukltures! N-No comment!"

He ran inside, panting and wiping sweat from his forehead.

" JESUS Christ . . ."

Rikki and Ramon were standing together, talking with Ross, as other guests began to arrive. People walked in, sat down, were chatting eagerly, and awaiting the wedding and the daring words that would be stated.

" Never been to a wedding before," Ramon smiled wide. " This si gonna be great!"

" Jiro getting hitched . . . never thought I'd see the day . . . " he laughed lightly.

" Yeah, me being the best man . . . I feel excited, at the same time, I feel like I'm gonna pass out," Ross sniffled, then laughed. He glanced left and right, before he noticed something off. " Where's Jiro?"

" I think he's somewhere . . ." Riki said.

Ross sighed and walked off to find Jiro as half of the peus were being filled. He never noticed a blonde shadow following.

XXX

Jiro was pacing back and forth, biting his bottom lip. His tux was already riding up as he was still pacing, a minor panic already escalating in his mind and heart. He stopped occasionally, only to return to his pedantic pacing habit.

" Oh man oh man oh man . . ."

His mantra echoed as he kept pacing and glancing to the door. His tuxedo was stiffening up with the starch and iron marks as he kept up the nervous pacing.

" Oh damn it all . . . what am I gonna do now?"

The doorknob twisted as he paled and jumped into a chair, placing a cool facade of James Bond over the nervous exterior of Simon the Digger. He spun over to the door, seeing the figure of Ross entering.

" Jiro?" he asked, concern stretched over the Pokemorph's face. " You alright? The ceremony's about to start, and no one's seen you since we first arrived."

" Oh, I'm more than fine, Ross," he smirked. " Just working some nerves from my system before I stand in front of Kam and the others today . . ." He turned around, feet up, saying, " I can easily go through with this . . . No one will judge and no one will say otherwise . . . all a matter of doing this thing . . . "

Ross blinked twice.

" Cold feet?"

" SHUT UP!"

Jiro then sighed as he spun back, tuxedo finally loosening up. Ross walked over as the blonde shadow slid into the room with a silent thud.

" Jiro, this is a norma-"

" I do not wanna abandon her at the altar, Ross . . ." he growled, adding," I can't! THat wouldn't just be cruel! But . . . I just . . . I can't . . . "

Silence.

" I wanna marry her, I know I love her, I knew beforehand when I started to train her with her lycan powers . . . but . . . I just can't go . . ."

" Through with this?" Ross smirked.

" DAMN that is annoying," Jirro said, eyes aimed up.

" You learn a thing or two from TSS," he said, then sat down in another chair. " Everyone gets jitters, Aang got them before he married Katara."

" And look how that fic turned out . . . " the shadow whispered.

" Nukid?" the two men asked.

" DAMN IT ALL!"

Nukid came out from underneath another chair, dusting his tuxedo off. He sighed as he sat down, leg crossed as he glared at Jiro. Jiro glared right back at him.

" Alright, why the look now?"

" Why are YOU stressed, of all people?" he yelped.

" Because, I don't think I can do this!" Jiro yelled, slapping his face. He jumped up, face covered by hands, continuing," I know I wanna marry Dawn, but I'm got cold feet about this! It's what happened before all over again!"

Nukid blinked, seeing him pace back and forth, now a nervous wreck. Ross was trying to aim him to the chair, to get him to calm down, and felt a small arrow pierce his heart. He sighed and stood up. He knew what he had to do, but he wasn't gonna like it.

" Jiro . . ."

" What?" he asked the narcoleptic.

He placed a hand on his shoulder, turned away.

" Go mer mit."

" What?"

He was mumbling it out.

" GO mer phet . . ."

" I'm sorry," Jiro smirked, snickering," what now?"

" I SAID GO FOR IT DAMN YOU!"

Jiro and Ross were nearly laughing.

" W-What?" Jiro asked, nearly dying of laughter.

" YOU heard me," Nukid was bright red, his ego already feeling a crush. " You can go on and go to Dawn . . . it's obvious you love her, so go ahead and just marry her already . . . ignore the damn cold feet and just run down that aisle, marry her and have a great life."

Jiro was laughing, as Nukid glared at him. The key was in the door and it was opened.

" Why are you laughing?"

" B-Because . . ." Jiro wiped an eye, standing up. " That's the first time you've never beaten me up over Kamalia before . . ."

Nukid slowly stood as still and flat as a plank, comprehending what had just come out of his mouth. Kam was his sister, in a sense, and Jiro was gonna be his brother-in-law, in a sense.

He smirked.

" At the next wedding, your head's goin' in the punchbowl."

" And at the next bachelor party, I'm gonna kick you in a balls in a drunk stupor," Jiro gave a salute and left the room.

Nukid smiled and laughed as he also left, Ross following. There was a new air of laughter and love.

" Well, this was interesting . . . wonder where Kammie is . . ."

XXX

A rose petal haze had decorated the bridal chambers, pearls and make-up clouds all over the place surrounded by layer upon layer of satin and silk. Kamalia was sitting on a small chair, sighing as she kept staring into the mirror.

" Alright, Kam, just go out there, and marry him . . ."

Silence.

" Oh man I don't think I can do this . . ."

She powered her nose for what seemed like the seventeenth time, placed the puff back, and hooked her pearl earring in her left ear. She was already lifting the right up like it were a worm as Hikari stepped in.

" Kamalia-chan?"

" Hikari . . . "

" Are you ready?" she asked, smiling.

" I-I don't think so . . ."

Hikari walked in and sat down beside her, a hand gently on hers.

" Dawn-chan, I know you love Jiro with all of your heart," she smiled. " And I-"

" And you think I should go ahead and do this despite anything . . ."

HIkari blinked and laughed lightly.

" Yes, yes I do," she smiled. " Why are you so anxious?"

" Because . . . " she blushed over. " Th-there's gonna be . . . a crowd this time . . ."

There was an akward silence. There was no wind.

" Huh?"

" There will be a bunch of people out there I know and don't know as well, all sitting behind us, as we exchange vows and kiss in public . . . " she sighed. " Geez, it's like . . . having sex in public!"

Hikari gasped," THAT is going too far, Dawn-chan . . . who would have sex in public?"

XXX

Rook suddenly sneezed, as he shivered.

Inside his mind, only one thought was going.

_' Odd . . . Wait a sec, did that have something to do with what happened between Trisha and I in the movies?'_

XXX

" Anyways," Dawn sighed," What do I do?"

Hikari smiled, saying," You are going to follow your heart, Dawn-chan."

Kam looked at her.

" Do nothing else but follow what you believe in your HEART you should do . . . Kamalia-chan."

Kamalia was stunned, then slowly smiled. She hugged Hikari, nearly crying. She knew what she had to do and what Hikari said to her was just what she needed to hear.

" Thanks . . ."

" Don't mention it," she smiled.

" Kam!"

Jill was at the door, already shaking with anticipation.

" It's almost time to start!"

" Oh Dang! Hikari, you go find DP," Kam smirked. " I've got a man to marry."

Hikari's silver rays of happiness beamed as she nodded, and the girls left the room.

XXX

People who had been pouring in only seconds before were now seated and silent. Minor whispers were still echoing as the preacher, bible in hand and wearing beautiful cream-colored robes, entered and emitted a smile worth gold and silver. People sat down, a good wave of energy passing over.

" Oh I love weddings!" Hikari whispered, now sitting next to DP.

" So do I," DP smiled at her.

DJ steamed as he walked in, Mora following him. Each was wearing their tuxes and were going into a peu.

" And he made you wet the bed with the warm water trick?" Mora whispered," I thought that never worked . . ."

" TURNS out it does!" DJ growled in a near silence. " I'm gonna kill Ramon if he plays even one more prank on me!"

DJ sat down, growling, still facing forward, when a sudden sound echoed through the church. It enticed laughter from every viewer as Ramon was laughing his head off. Riki sighed and pinched a nerve on his head as DJ turned a bright shade. He reached underneath himself, pulling out a whoopie cushion.

" Well, I'll get my gun once we're out of the House of God . . ." Mora murmured, smirking and stifling laughter.

" Shut up!" DJ whispered loudly. " Bad enough I have to be the ring bearer . . ."

" Then where are the rings?"

Silence.

" CRAP!"

Deej ran out of the room, and then got into thew main foyer, seeing both rings sparkling on the lavished silken pillow.

" Sweet Grim Reaper, my hide is safe . . ."

The Metagang was sitting in the back, their assorted dresses and tuxedos of color a sight for sore eyes. Kiva was already setting up his camera.

" Hello biggest hit on the web!" he laughed.

" Hello big business for ice scultpures," King smirked writing down phone numbers.

" Hello - shut up!" OOkami and the girls said at once, but she alone said," This is a wedding, not something to be made fun of!"

" I know that," King said, smiling. " It'll be like something off of 'Alone in Love'. "

Silence.

" Korean drama."

" Oh . . ." the gang said at once.

Silence was slowly echoing as a man got behind the organ, and began to play. He filled the church with the warmth and goosebumps of the Heavens, making everyone gasp or turn mute at the sound.

Jiro came down the aisle, face forward, head held high, suit shining in the light. Some people took pictures as he walked, others were already flashing their cameras of him as he got to the altar.

" So handsome," someone whispered.

Ross then came down the aisle, dressed in his tux, and came down quicker than Jiro did. He winked at Marissa, then stood beside Jiro, hands to his sides. Jiro was sweating furiously as he turned lightly to where Ross was.

" You alright?" Ross whispered.

" Peachy . . ."

" Take this in strides . . ."

Everyone then saw the bridesmaids walk down the aisle, each wearing the dazzling dresses of Greccian style and purple silk. Jill came first, smiling as she walked along, smiling into each camera. Hotaru came next, shy little thing, and followed Jill like a scared little puppy. Phoenix came after, smirking as she walked along, searching for Shikamaru. Kitten was last, who was smiling, and blushing deeply, as she hurried after Phoenix.

Once the four bridesmaids reached the altar, Mia was running down the aisle, gigglikng and throwing flowers in a small version of their dresses. She giggled as her mother grabbed her in the front peu, still tossing a few flowers here and there.

" Cute," Jiro whispered.

DJ walked along after Mia, carefully carrying the rings on the pillow. He made sure that the rings stayed still as he painstakingly walked to the altar, showing the rings to Jiro. He nodded as DJ stood up and got to the other side of Jiro, still carrying the rings.

" Ready?" he whispered.

" Yeah."

Everyones heads cocked to the end of the aisle as two figures casted shadows. Once was a familiar gummy once, yet the other one was radiant in form and in dress. The two walked down the aisle, as everyone either gasped once more, began crying, or took more and more pictures.

It was Nukid holding onto the arm of an embarrassed yet eager Kamalia, carrying a white rose bouquet.

Jiro felt his heart soar and his face turn bright red as he saw her in her dress with the Greek style ablaze. It was beautiful, she was beautiful to him, there was no one else anymore.

To Kamalia, she only saw Jiro in that wide room, no one else was there. It was peaceful and she was smiling.

The two reached the altar as Nukid slowly separated himself from Kamalia, who nodded to him. In a sudden change of tune, Nukid smiled and kissed her cheek, then quickly shoved Jiro to her, claiming his spot.

" Jiro . . ." Kam whispered angrily.

Nukid laughed lightly as hearted l;aughter spread through the church. Camera were still rolling as the bride and groom noted, then smiled, at one another. The preacher adjusted his glasses once more, then coughed.

" Welcome, everyone."

The music stopped. His voice was music enough.

" We are gathered here to day to join in holy matrimony . . ." he said, turning to Jiro," Jiro of the Wolfen Race . . ." then to Kam," and Kamalia of the Author Fighters . . ."

There was an impecable silence.

" Now, let us begin."

XXX

" How much longer before the cake?" Edge whispered to Rook.

The wedding had already gone past the point where Kamalia and Jiro had said their vows, and were nearing the part where the rings were added in. People were teary-eyed in the audience, and even Rook wasn't spared.

" Wait just a bit longer, Edge," he whispered.

" Dang it, I'm starving . . . I skipped breakfast this morning because of this, and I want some cake, dammit."

He slapped Edge upside the head, creating a quiet echo.

" I owe the gang for teaching me this, and secondly, this is the House of God, not a brothel."

" Your place?"

" ONE more strike, I mean it . . ." he whispered, aiming for his Keyblade.

Edge was in silence as the entire church turned to the altar.

" Now, ShadowDJ, present the rings to me," the preacher said, smiling.

DJ walked over, got on one knee, and held the two contracts up on the silk. Jiro took one while Kam took the other. Deej sighed and got up quickly, running back into the peu. Everyone was laughing lightly.

" Wow, wonder why his tail's on fire . . ." Kam whispered.

There was shrieking as Ramon ran out fo the church, DJ following with his scythe.

" I'M GONNA GET YOU BACK FOR LAST NIGHT YOU JERKED FISH!"

Everyone laughed as the priest coughed, getting their attention back. He then tapped twice and began once more.

" Jiro, you must slip the ring onto Kamalia's finger, saying 'With this ring, I wed thee.'"

Jiro took the ring slid it gently onto Kam's ring finger, smiling.

" With this ring," he nodded," I wed thee, Kamalia."

Kamalia was nearly crying as she slipped the other ring onto his hand.

" With this ring, I wed thee, Jiro."

Another wave of clapping echoed through the church along with whistles, as Edge leaned over to Rook.

" How much longer before the cake?"

" You ask me one more time, and I will be forced to go Cupcakes on you," he whispered back, annoyed.

The way he was gripping the Keyblade was enough to verify his threat.

" Shutting up," Edge shivered.

" Before moving along, is there anyone here who believes that these two should not be wed?"

Nukid felt his rubbery arm ease its way up, but X grabbed it and yanked it back down.

" You had your chance, Nukes," he whispered.

A steady silence was brought about as a cough came from the holy man.

" If there are no further impedments . . ."The elderly preacher adjusted his glasses, smiling. He turned to Jiro, a small gleam in his eye, and said," Face the bride, please."

Jiro did so, taking Kamalia's hands.

" Do you, Jiro," he stated piece by piece," take Kamalia, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, rich or poor, in sickness and in health, until Death do you part?"

Jiro smiled warmly.

" I do."

The preacher then turned to Kamalia, who was facing Jiro beneath her veil. Her smile was barely seen. Bright light and sparkling tears were seen in the guests and family, and also on Kam's face.

" And do you Kamalia, take Jiro, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, rich or poor, in sickness and in health, until Death do you part?"

Kamalia felt her heart fly out of her chest.

" I do."

The man smiled and closed his Bible, holding it close to his heart. The cross in his other hand was firmly grasped to the cover, as if he would die right there and the wedding was his last act of kindness.

" Then by the power invested in me by the soul and mind of God, body included, I now pronounce you man and wife," he said. " You may kiss the bride."

There was a slow and steady clapping as a few people stood, and then a wave of applause followed after as Jiro flipped Kamalia's veil up, revealing her crying eyes and wide smile.

They kissed as the church grew bright as the applause grew louder.

" I just love weddings," Hikari sniffled, blowing into a tissue.

King sat by her, blowing his nose as well, Scorpion rolling his eyes in embarrassment.

People stood up as a few whistled, news crews were filming still, and the couple separated with the brightest smiles. They ran together, hand in hand, down the aisle, Kamalia still carrying the white rose bouquet. Others followed them as the newlyweds kept running towards a white limosine, laughing.

" Man, I never expected weddings to be this much fun!" Phoenix laughed, running after.

" Me neither!" Goddes, now Kadia, laughed along with her.

Kamalia tossed the bouquet with a wide grin, as the women screamed and frantically reached out for the chance to be married. A few cries of excitement were heard from there to the beach as someone grabbed it . . . or part of it . . .

" I got it!" Hikari jumped and landed in DP's arms. " I caught it sempai!"

" That's great!" he laughed, kissing her.

" I . . . got it?" Shelby blushed her wings furling out. " How?"

Jose gulped as she then smiled and slunk closer, making them both laugh.

" Look's like we're next," she smirked at him.

Jose's knees were buckling.

" I think I got it!"

Kitten jumped up, and grabbed the last part of it, shrieking in newfound happiness. Marcus grabbed her as she fell back to earth. She hugged him tightly, making him get crushed as she blushed.

" Three part bouquet, everyone wins," Kamalia said to Jiro.

" Clever," he kissed her, then added," So, to the reception?"

" To the reception . . . then the honeymoon," she smirked.

Jiro laughed as the couple loaded into the limo and drove off. The sun glinted off of the bumper and the rims of the wheels as everyone waved off to them.

" Do you think there'll be a reception?" Rook asked.

Silence.

" Wow . . ." Ranger groaned.

XXX

The reception was soon in full swing. Chatter and the eminating aura of a Gatsby party was everywhere, even where Jiro and Kamalia were cutting the cake. Edge was eating a full piece in one bite while DJ was still hunting down Ramon for putting hotsauce in his punch.

The good times were here again.

In the back, TSS, Ranger, Rook, and Nukid were standing, all holding glasses of punch.

" Yep," Ranger said.

" Yep," TSS said.

" Mm-hm," Nukid said.

" Yep," Rook nodded.

They all sipped at once.

" So, Nukes, you gave her away?" Rook asked Nukid.

He sighed, and said, smiling," Yep. Felt pretty good . . . AND, I think I learned a good lesson from all of this."

" That you should stop fighting over the ones you love and accept them as they come?" TSS asked.

" Nope."

Ranger drank then asked," You should just accept people for who and what they love, and not try anything funny in the meantime?"

" Nope."

" You should not have fought Jiro from the beginning, and should have just been his friend in the first palce?" Rook asked him.

" Nope."

" Then what?"

A hot woman walked past, as he whistled at her.

" THAT, my gentlemen, is the answer: I learned that there's more fish in the sea, and my sis being gone has now allowed me to get a woman! "

As he ran off, the three were caught in a wave of pity and indigestion. Kam and Jiro sighed seeing the scene.

" Well, as least we formed a truce," Jiro said, his arm around Kamalia.

She looked up at the ceiling.

" Heaven help us . . ."

She turned her head to where Kitten was sitting, and saw a familiar sight: two boys fighting over one girl. One insane, one perpetually lost in his mind, the girl just trying to move ahead.

" Not another one . . ." she sighed, smiling.

" Huh?" Jiro glanced as well.

Marcus and Tem were glaring at each other as Kitten was glancing back and forth. She saw one seat, then another.

" Why not sit beside me, Kitty-chan?"

Kitten blushed lightly and said," S-Sure . . ."

" W-Why not beside me, eh?" Tem asked," I'll be sitting by myself . . ."

People began to look at the trio as the boys each had a hand in hers, her face fogged over with bright red.

" She said she would like to sit with me, Canadian syrup breath," Marcus hissed.

" Ah, but she's sitting with me!"

Rook shook his head walking over, saying," Oh good Lord . . ."

" SHE'S MINE!"

" NO, MINE, EH!"

" I'LL SHOOT YOU IN THE KNEE-CAPS!"

" I'LL SHOT OFF THE LOWER HORN!"

" STOP THIS NOW!"

The two blinked.

" Wha-?"

" I know you two have been fighting over me, so stop this at once!" Kitten said, pulling herself free. " You two are acting like Inuyasha and Koga . . ."

A sudden silence gripped the area, as the rest of the reception was still a-buzz with everyone's conversations and fun.

" Wait, you knew we were fighting over you, eh?" Temhota asked, shaking. " Then why the innocent act?"

" It's how I am," Kitten said," I was waiting and acting in accordance with how you both were acting, and after Phoenix told me and Kamalia explained it to me, I decided to play a Batman Gambit."

Silence, music and chatter in the background with dancing and eating. Edge was blinking.

" I'm expecting her to take out a rubber cleaver . . . "

" Actually, Xanatos Gambit," Rook murmured.

" Then . . . why not say anything?" Marcus asked her, drawing closer.

" B-Because . . . " she gulped, then said slowly," I . . . was sc-a-ared . . ."

" Huh?" Marcus raised a brow, confused.

" It's hard . . . for me to . . . ex-p-plain fee-elings verbally, so . . ." Kitten said slowly, then sped it out in one sentence," do you wanna go out with me?"

Marcus blinked as he felt a blush work its way over his face. The others were speechless.

" Holy crap," Rook said stunned, then flatly said," Well, someone tell the doc that her new meds work well."'

He was hit with a book.

" Boo!" Haru yelled nearby.

" Dick!" he yelled back.

" Yeah, I-I was gonna ask you out, too! . . . well, you know what I mean by that because you just did, so well, I just wanted to because I love you, and I knew I did when I first saw you . . . WAIT NOT LOVE-love, I mean like-love, but . . . " he smiled, getting exstatic and breathless. " You mean - "

Kitten nodded, blushing bright red. " I love you, Marcus . . . and I knew it as soon as I saw you, when you first joined the FAF."

Marcus hugged her then, making her stiffen up like Larvitar. Kitten slowing wrapped her arms around him, smiling wide with an embarrassing tint. She loosened her body up, as she closed her eyes.

" About time," Rook nodded, smiling.

" Thank GOD they finally got that outta their systems . . . now things can get a bit normal around here . . . who wants a drink?" Ranger laughed, pouring wine.

Tem stood there, mouth agape.

" Ah man . . . no one loves me eh . . . that was just harsh . . ."

Kitten turned and smiled at him. She walked over and hugged him, saying," You're like my big brother, Tem. Never forget that."

She giggled and ran back, as Tem smiled back at her. He could feel his heart melt as the others in the room were resuming their original positions before the events turned.

Back near Kamalia and Jiro, they were open-jawed and stunned. They turned to each other, then laughed heart-filled as a new revelation hit them. As for everyone else, the festivities were overwelming.

It was a wonderful event and a wonderful wedding.

XXX

DP and Hikari were seated side by side, Hikari blushing at him. He smiled back at her, lightly sipping punch.

" So, Sempai?"

" Hm?"

" When are we getting married?"

DP smiled and touched her nose lightly.

" Spring Break," he smiled.

" Really?"

" Yes," he smiled.

" After what happened last year on the beach?"

Silence.

" Y-Yeah . . . " he smiled, a small sweat-drop falling.

" Oh I can't wait, Sempai!" Hikari said.

They kissed as she hugged him. DP hugged her as well, smiling, although an egging feeling of impending insanity was sinking into his mind . . .

_And that's all she wrote~! XD_


	12. Fanfiction Insanity Fighters

_Now this will be fun! This is a great chapter with Yandere and Insanity, so please do laugh, or look up stuff on TVTropes. Anyways, please read, review, and no flaming. Thank you!_

" SHUT UP!"

" I AM MORE INSANE!"

" YOU BITE ME!"

" I WILL CRUSH YOU!"

A vein in Phoenix' forehead was pulsing as she was reading the book before her. Before her, Advent was keeping Lunatic in a strangle hold, Lunatic was trying to kick Advent where it hurt, and they were just wrestling over the Most Insane Author title.

" Shut up . . ." she murmured, switching attention to A Game of Thrones. " Trying to reread more of Bron's story here . . ."

" I AM FAR MORE INSANE THAN YOU, YOU SOCRATES SPEWING FICTOR!" Advent screeched, pulling Lunatic's arm far back. " You haven't done anything insane in MONTHS!"

" OH really, well, at least I KNOW LIMITS YOU JASHIN SEX LOVER!" Lunatic yelled, pulling out his chakram. " And do NOT pull that crap with me about denial!"

She was closing the book, her eyes now closed, clenching her teeth.

" HELL NO IS IT LIKE THAT!" Advent yelled pulling his scythe out from his back. He aimed it at Lunatic's face. " ADMIT IT BASTARD!"

" NO!"

Lion's Edge walked in, whistling, as he noticed the two fighting and Phoenix' near aneurism. He moved to the couch and tapped her shoulder, making her jump and pull out her Keyblade. Edge in turn yelped and backed up.

" Hey, hey, hey!" he yelped.

" Heh . . . sorry, Edge . . ." she sighed, putting her Keyblade down.

" So," Edge asked," I miss something about them?"

Phoenix blinked as the two had turned their small disagreement into a dust cloud fight. She sighed and pinched the nerves above her eyes.

" Welcome to the FAF," she narrarated," where it seems the evolutionary clock of insanity ticks backwards in almost all occupants . . ."

Edge laughed lightly as he kept watching their fight.

" Fifty on Advent."

" Twenty says someone comes in here and stops them," Phoenix said, reopening her book.

The two kept at the fighting as Nukid came in talking with DIBRAVE, aka Marcus, barely noticing the two's fight in front of the TV and coffee table. They kept walking around the couch as Phoenix' headache grew worse. Edge inched out of the room, as she saw the fight escalate.

" So there I was, just spring cleaning, when I - what the?" Nukid freaked.

The two cocked their heads to see the fight as Phoenix closed her book once more.

" AND the two notice the fight . . . "

" Then why don't you help stop this?" Nukid freaked.

" Because, Advent has his scythe," she deadpanned.

" Oh dang it . . ."

" Well, this is weird," Marcus said, then started laughing out," but I LIKE IT! DOG PILE!"

Marcus piled in, as Advent and Lunatic were still fighting, but Marcus soon found himself swearing and swinging punches on each of the insane Authors. Nukid growled as he jumped in as well, trying to pull the three apart. However, one the punches of 'pervert' and 'reverse crabwalk' were thrown at Nukid, he threw one back at Advent, and the fighting progressed.

Phoenix groaned out, still watching," If this wasn't so distracting, or more sad to watch, I would have stopped this an hour ago . . ."

Wildrook stepped into the living room from the kitchen entrance, just as Advent's scythe was swung an inch away from his head, getting slung into the wall nearby.

" Whoa, whoa, whoa! WHAT THE HOLY HELL?"

His yell stopped the boys in theri tracks as Phoenix sighed happily from her front row seat.

" THANK God you came . . . these four bonzos were duking it out like Axel and Demyx do in a single weekend at Castle Doran!" she yelped," Mind getting these guys to stop for five seconds so I can read in peace?"

Rook groaned as Advent pulled his scythe from the laugh, slinking away with a nervous laugh.

" Why are you guys fighting to begin with?"

Marcus and Nukid were slinking back, leaving Lunatic and Advent wearing guilty masks. Phoenix was sticking her nose back into her book.

" Alright, I'll be the bigger man . . ." Advent started, then quickly shrieked," LUNATIC DID IT ALL!"

" WHAT?"

" He was jealous of me for being more insane, then we started to," he waved his hands," 'duke it out', as Phoenix so put it . . . go ahead and cuff him and - Hey! What the hell?"

Rook was grabbing Advent's wrists and pulling him along, straight faced. He was gritting his teeth and they were nearing a grind and pulling motion.

" I've dealt with more insane in Japan, Advent . . . you're gonna have to try better than that . . ." Rook said, slicing his teeth back and forth.

Advent froze and, placing his hands up, turned around to face Rook. His look was one to certainly be feared.

" Who. The hell. Have you seen. IN Japan . . . who is FAR MORE INSANE THAN ME?" Advent roared.

Rook glared.

" You would slice your own head off if I told you . . ."

He suddenly started laughing as he slipped a hand from Rook's, then slapped him on the back. He kept laughing, still sputtering inbetween laughing fits, much to the horror of the others, falling on the couch with a peach to red-stained face.

" Oh-o-oh, oh man!" Advent laughed, wiping his eyes. " THAT'S THE BEST JOKE EVER!"

Rook had a flat face.

" No, no it was not . . ."

" Huh?" he asked, looking back.

Silence.

" You . . . you were serious?"

Silence.

" What do you think?"

A longer silence occured as Marcus and Nukid were still in a scuffle, before Advent shrugged and jumped back into their fight, swearing and cursing. Rook piled right into it, carrying cuffs, saying something about disturbing the peace.

Phoenix growled as she slammed her book tightly. " YOU GUYS ARE GONNA PAY FOR DENYING ME MY READING TIME!"

Yandere Phoenix emerged with a vengance from Phoenix, as she jumped into the cloud fight, making Nukid screech with fear and Rook yelp with contempt. The fighting continued as Advent swang his scythe, Lunatic swung his chakram, Nukid was trying to run, Phoenix was hitting Nukes, and Rook wsa trying to maintain peace.

" Hey guys, what's with the commotion?"

The group turned to the doorway, seeing a girl dressed in a purple goth-loli dress, white stripe around the rim with frills, a white flower on the hip, long white hair scouring her head and spanning past her feet, black shoes on her feet, and mascara opening her eyes wider. In her arms was a Hello Kitty doll.

It was Kitten.

Needless to say, the reactions were mixed.

" HOLY CRAP!" Advent freaked, falling from his forced headlock. " You're not wearing a mini-skirt!"

Kitten blinked then.

" Huh?"

" You're wearing a dress?" Phoenix freaked, her leg about to strike Nukid where it hurt.

Rook was speechless, as was Lunatic.

" . . . It's Christmas all over again . . ." NUkid blinked.

Kitten hugged the cat toy as she walked over, smiling. She obviously had issues putting eyeliner on, because there were smudges on her fingertips and on her upper cheekbone.

Marcus had hearts in his eyes, as a small amount of blood came from his broken nose.

" So nice . . ."

" You like?" Kitten blushed.

" Boy and howdy . . ."

" OH brother . . . " Advent gagged, his scythe on his tongue. He turned to Kitten, who turned to him from Marcus. " WHY are you wearing that?"

" I always wanted to cosplay as Stocking! Ever since Rook showed me the series, of course," she smiled.

Rook suddenly started to back out from the room, then ran out, yelling to Trisha about his hard drive needing to be wiped clean. Marcus glanced to him, then smiled back at Kitten. She smiled back as she hooked her arm in Marcus's.

Advent sneered," You look SO ridiculous right now, you know that right?"

" Says the Hidan look-alike?" Marcus snarked.

Kitten glanced back at Advent as Nukid and Phoenix sat down on the couch, Phoenix grabbing her book once more, and opening it to the page that had been marked. The two were soon in an innocent-evil eye lockdown. Lunatic sighed and tucked his hands into his pocket, leaving the room.

" More ridiculous than how you looked on Halloween?" Kitten smiled.

Advent was stunned.

" WHAT?" he growled. " I am NOT believeing this! YOU Put me IN that dress!"

Silence.

" What now?" the other three asked.

Nukid was about ready to bust a gutt, and Advent's face was red as a cherry. Marcus was already laughing. Advent glared back at Kitten, his scythe aimed at her throat.

" You can try all you want, Advent, but the memory remains . . ." Kitten smiled, slowly losing the blue in her eyes. " I know what you are thinking . . . how can you take me out so I won't tell the others? How can I prevent THAT little secret from being leaked onto the Web?"

Advent kept his dark gaze as her voice grew into a nearly inaudible whisper. She was growing darker and more shadowed, her hair now a dark gray and near black.

Psycho Kitten.

" I can leak it anytime, and I still have the pics Ross took . . . alongside a few other things . . . "

" What do you want from me you psycho-bitch?" Advent whispered to her.

" Simple . . . no more Jashin sacrifices, help with the homeless, and be nicer," she smirked.

Silence.

" You. Are. Evil."

She smirked.

" I don't even think you're innocent, are you?"

" I have read Cupcakes, but nothing much after that . . . aside from horror junk," she said, getting louder.

" Well, that figures . . . EVERYONE knows you're a horror buff," Advent said in a normal voice.

Kitten blinked as she tucked the cat doll tigher into her arm crook. The others were nodding.

" Wait, really? Everyone does?" she asked confused.

" Yep, even me," Marcus kissed her.

Kitten was bright red then.

" H-Heh . . . I'm off of it forever now . . . nightmares, and junk . . ."

" HA!" Advent said, then turned his back. " WELL, fat chance I'm doing that for one lousy pic file, so if anyone needs me, I'll be removing decaying bones and human feces from my floor from my last sacrifice. Stupid guy had a gag on and STILL made a mess of my room, humiliating me and Jashin . . . Peace out!"

He walked out, leaving the others behind in pure shock, and/or terror. Nukid ran out after him, covering his mouth, as Kitten and Marcus slowly left the room in the opposite direction.

Phoenix sighed as she stuck her nose back into the book.

" NOW I can get some reading done."

As she began reading a line, Edge skidded in, laughing. He was covered in icing, as he licked all over.

" CAKE IN THE KITCHEN!"

" THAT'S IT!"

Yandere Phoenix leapt onto Edge, book now in her left and right hands clamped tightly, as a Leonine roar echoed from all around.

XXX

Phantos yawned as he walked down a hallway, stretching an arm back. He stepped silently from one direction to the next, looking lazily ahead.

" Man, last time I nap in the middle of the day . . ."

CRASH!

" NO!"

SLAM!

" That son of a- ! WHERE IS IT?"

Phantos yelped as he jumped back, looking around frantically. He saw no commotion in the halls, yet the fear in his eyes was dancing like the party from a few months back. He stumbled and walked to a nearby door.

" Where the he-"

" DAMN! THEY'RE GONE!"

He was slammed behind the door within seconds, waves of dissecting pain flowing over him. He squeaked quietly as the person whoi emerged from the door had literal steam blowing from her nose.

" I'm going to wring his neck . . ."

Dawn.

" Once I find that narcoleptic bastard, I'm going to wring his neck for stealing my pills again!"

She growled and took off down the hallway as the door to her now trashed room was slowly closing. Phantos was slammed against the wall like a pancake. His eye twitched as he peeled from the cold concrete slowly and excrutiatingly.

" D-Dang it . . . I poity the fool who gets in her way . . . ouch . . . "

XXX

Advent sighed as he glanced at his Most Insane Author trophy. He huffed on it twice and wiped it clean using his robe.

He had won the award, literaly swiped it from the hands of that Fictor brother insanity impersonator, finally a chance that he had overcome him . . . yet now, there was no one else he could have been more insane than . . . he had taken his prized place, but for what? A piece of gold that would never take the place of true friendshi -

" OH who am I kidding?" he laughed, standing tall," I beat his *ss! I f*cking beat his f*cking insane faking *ss!"

Advent laughed louder and ran out of his room, his scythe now in the crook of his arm and sighed as he kept walking.

" As if there's someone who can be FAR more insane than I can! Im-f*cking-possible!"

" Shut up you jerkwad!"

Advent blinked.

He turned his head to another section of the hallway, seeing the Metagang passing by. As if on que, they were all dressed as characters from Excel Saga. Janera was being a red-headed version of Excel.

" NO, man, you are NOT swapping," she said to King, who was dressed as Lord Ilzallaporo. She narrowed in on his face as she continued," You keep in your costume an d keep in your character, or else . . ."

King sighed and glared, " I hate you so much right now . . ."

" Why do I have to be Hyatt, again?" Tanuki asked.

" Because, the costume fits you best," Janera said, tapping her fingers," AND, you look a lot like her."

" So does Mira but you don't see her complaining," Tanuki pointed out, her gothic style growing darker as she notioned to Mira, who was dressed as Kagami.

" WHAT?" she growled.

" It's a compliment, sweetie," Haru told her, wearing a Puchuu male costume.

She slapped him upside the head, him now having a familiar Puchuu look.

" You idiot!"

" YEOUWCH!"

Scorpion laughed, dressed as the afro guy, and fell backwards. The rest of the members were talking nonsense of the anime Excel Saga as Advent was blinking without thought. He turned around, and then walked back to his bedroom.

He went into his room, closed the door, took a sheet of paper out, and began writing something on it.

" Why must the sun set on my insanity levels?" he was silently crying. " By Jashin they're worse off to cause more riots of insanity than I am! I bet they even operate on a hive mind and have military dyslexia in their families!"

XXX

Edge sighed as he sat on the couch, covered in casts.

" I cannot believe Phoenix went Yandere on me . . . "

Beside him was Advent, who was staring up at the ceiling.

" I cannot believe the METAGANG is far superior to me in the art of insanity . . ."

Lunatic stepped in hearing it, blinked with wide eyes.

" I can't believe you just SAID that!"

Rook stuck his head in eating a piece of bread.

" I can't believe it's not butter!"

He started laughing, as the other three looked right at him with such contempt. He laughed less and less before he coughed and left the room.

Silence.

" I could go for some more cake."

_There you have it!_


	13. Truth or Dare: Author Style!

_I remember doing one of these with the Metagang, so I figured I could go ahead and do a Truth and Dare version for the FAF! XD I apologize for anything said and revealed, I only own my character Kitten, so please read, review and no flames! Thank you!_

" GOD I am bored to death . . . "

" Agreed . . . for once . . . "

" Taken as a compliment . . . "

Advent tipped his head over the edge of the couch, groaning. His scythe moved with each breath beside his body. He blew hair from his face as he stared blankly at the TV from his peculiar placement. Beside him was the Leonine Lion's Edge, who was upside down as well, blowing his mane from his face. He covered his eyes and rubbed his face with agony.

" How long have we been like this?" Edge monotonously asked.

" About an hour . . . "

Edge sighed.

" Bloody hell I'm bored . . . if Kam wasn't gone, I'd hang with her and Jiro . . . Rook's an arsehole . . . "

" No arguments here," Advent said, changing the channel.

Edge released a loud growl with a yell of " DEAR GOD! SOMEONE KILL ME FROM THIS INFERNAL BOREDOM!"

CLICK!

" I can arrange that," Ranger said, aiming a gun to his head from a nearby easy chair.

" CRAP!"

Edge fell from the couch in his startle, landing flat on his face.

" FIGURE OF SPEECH!"

Ranger smirked and replaced his gun in the holster, then reclined back with a sigh. He folded his hands behind his head as he glanced at the TV.

" Be glad you said that," he said," Safety was off."

Edge gulped and placed himself right side up on the couch. He leaned back, then sighed once more. Advent followed his lead as he cracked his neck, still flipping channels.

" God dammit are there any good shows on?"

Edge blinked with a blank stare.

" Nope."

" Damn it all . . ."

DJ stepped in, seeing the two British Authors and the Twilight. He turned to them as he cleared his throat.

" Oh, hey Deej," Edge said over the couch. Even when talking, the boredom was obvious. " What's new with you?"

" Well . . ." he said, confused," I was headed to play Truth or Dare with Kitty . . . her idea with Phoenix, Loony and Mora since there's nada to do . . ."

Silence.

Advent peered over the couch at DJ with an infamous death glare. Dj took two steps back with his own glare.

" WHY the fucking hell are you playing Truth or Dare, the King of all Childish and most Ignorant of games?" Advent asked, annoyed. " And with the fakers no less?"

DJ sighed and said," I repeat, because there's nothing else to do . . . literally . . . everyone else is gone on missions and junk."

Edge turned him and asked," You mean Lunatic and Mora?"

" NO, Lunatic and that innocence faker."

" Figures . . . "

Ranger growled and scowled over at the two on the couch. He cocked his head to the TV, already steaming. Bored or not, he was not in the mood to be ticked off at the second.

DJ rolled his eyes and said," You've never played it before have you?"

Silence.

" What does that matter?" Advent growled.

" Ha ha ha," Edge faked before jumping over the couch back. " Mind if I come with? I'm bored outta my mind over here! It's like being stuck in a never-ending loop of mana!"

DJ nodded, as he turned to Advent.

" You coming with, Ad?"

" HELL NO."

Silence.

" Go with them or else I'll slice you open with a single bullet," Ranger growled, already aiming his gun. " Safety's still off bastard . . ."

Advent paled as white as his hair before he got up off the couch and scooted to the door. DJ and Edge stepped out swiftly after him, running as the reached the hallway.

Ranger smirked as he placed the gun back.

" Maybe now I can get some peace and quiet . . ."

XXX

Phoenix yawned as he sat cross-legged on the soft floor beside a lethargic Lunatic. Book tucked under her arm, she glanced over to her right where Kitten was sitting with a large smile on her face, braid slightly frizzed. Compared to her own flat look, it seemed unorthodox. DJ was sitting across from her with his scythe behind him. He glanced to Mora on his right, who was on his side, arm proppig his head up. Advent was to his left and was glaring at Lunatic with much anger. Edge sat beside him with a toothy grin.

" So, everyone," Kitten smiled," You all ever played Truth or Dare before?"

Silence.

" Guess that's a no?"

Silence.

" I have," DJ said.

" Likewise," Mora said.

" Then why the lag in answering?" Kitten asked.

" Here's a question," Mora leered, shaking a fist, " How can you be so upbeat in a boredom storm?"

She shrugged.

" Natural energies, I guess . . . "

" Then why the frizzed hair?" Phoenix tugged on her braid lightly.

" I took a nap and woke up with messy hair . . . "

Edge snickered as she glanced back with slight anger. Kitten coughed twice before continuing, as the others began to sit up normally to play better. It was obvious that nothing else was going to occupy them . . .

" The key to this game is to answer a solid truth, or do a dare anyone asks," she smiled," and that DOES mean anything goes . . . well, almost anything . . . "

Advent's eyes widened as he sat up directly.

" Wait, ANYTHING goes?"

" As in, ANYTHING anything?" Edge asked as well, jittery.

" A-Almost anything but - " Kitten shivered.

" CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" Edge and Advent yelled.

With a high five, the damage was done. Kitten, Phoenix and Mora blinked as DJ stared blankly. Lunatic yawned and turned to Kitten.

" Hard to believe a while ago he said it was childish . . ." DJ murmured. " Hypocrite."

" So, who's first?" Lunatic asked.

" Um . . ."

She twirled her finger in the floor as the thought, the others flatlining. Phoenix tapped her shoulder and nodded to her, as she nodded back. Phoenix faced the group and continued on with a brave face.

" I think we should go with Alphabetical order of names," she said," that was it's always fair, no orders are messed up, and everyone can go before we all end up going nuts!"

Silence. The others looked on in an all-too familiar smart alleck look.

" That means you go last," Edge snickered.

Her eyes narrowed.

" Ah fuck me . . ."

Advent snickered as he started with," And that means I'm first! YES! Let's see . . . "

His gaze swapped between the other six Authors until it landed nearby on -

" LUNATIC!"

He snapped his fingers.

" Truth or dare?"

" Dare me!"

He laughed as he bit his bottom lip, shaking his head.

" You-you so sure about that psycho-hair?" he laughed, rollong over on his sides. " OH-o-oh God! Someone please get the camera!"

Lunatic stood up and yelled," BRING IT ON!"

XXX

" I'm gonna get him back for this . . ." he whispered loudly.

Lunatic had his back flat against a corner hallway, as a gentle humming echoed down the other hall. He gulped as he turned, seeing Hikari taking more adn more steps in his direction.

Beside him was Advent, who was holding a camera. The other five were beside him, snickering lightly.

" I dared you, man, you gotta go it, or tell the truth of how you became sane," Advent smirked.

He glared at the white haired Jashinist as he took a lean out of the shadows.

" You are true evil . . . and this better not go online . . ."

" Learned that lesson with Nukes . . ." he sighed.

Lunatic moved his limbs like a robot as he stepped ever so slowly to Hikari, who walked to him with her princess paces. His teeth chattered as he kept circling the dare in his mind. She smiled at him and stopped as he froze a foot from her.

" Hello Loony-san!" she tilted her head with a smile. " How are you today?"

" F-Fine . . ."

" Good," she said with a sweet smile. " Nice to kno - "

" FORGIVE ME!"

The next few seconds passed as if they were on a NASCAR track: Lunatic tipped Hikari and kissed her, dark overtones on both their faces. As Advent snapped his picture, a door opened nearby with a loud scream. Lunatic broke away from the twitching traumatized girl.

" LUNATIC!"

DP was red faced and weilding his staff from the door, snorting like a bull who saw red. The sheer anger was enough to make a group of bikers pale and turn tail.

" WHAT THE HELL?"

" Whoops, got caught!" he yelped, then turned abck to Hikari. " See ya later, baby!"

He zoomed off and spun her back up, the others following behind. DP trailed after, trying to aim at them through a cloud of fury.

" GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A - "

XXX

" Alright, who's next?" Lunatic asked, now sporting a black eye and holding an ic epack on his lower. He sighed and added," Just glad DP didn't maim me too badly . . ."

" Be glad he didn't totally destroy every bone in your body . . ." DJ shivered," And I'm up."

" Advent, that was a cold dare!" Kitten said, steaming lightly at him. " Apologize now!"

He tsked and turned to her with a smirk," Almost anything goes, remember?"

She glared.

" ALMOST anything . . ."

" And your point is?"

" Focus, Yin-yangs," Phoenix rolled her eyes, then turned to Deej. " Alright, you're next . . . choose your vic-tim . . . why are you looking at me that way?"

Silence.

" DJ no . . ."

" Phoenix, truth or dare?"

His impish smirk was back.

" Ah crap . . . truth . . . after Loony's dare, no chances am I taking any risks . . ."

He rubbed his chin and said," Smart move . . . now, for your truth . . . . since you dumped Shikamaru recently, who the hell ARE you seeing now?"

The others gasped and turned to the now red as a beet Phoenix. She gulped as she tugged on her collar, the others leaning in for the answer.

" uh, well, heheyeah . . . y-you see I . . . "

DJ bit his lip in anxious anticipation. The others were opening theri ears wide.

Phoenix gulped and shook heavily.

" Yamamoto Takeshi!"

She covered her mouth in a deadbeat as the others gasped. Mora started laughing as DJ sighed.

" I was sure it was someone else . . . "

He turned to Lunatic with an all-too familiar look. Loony looked both ways before asking," Who? Me? I don't get it . . ."

Kitten whistled as she said," Well, that's a bit surprising . . . "

" Amen, and I'm next!" Edge laughed, standing up. " Eeny, meeny, miny revenge for the bucket of water, Kitten!"

Kitten gulped.

" W-wha?"

" No way," Phoenix snickered," 'bout time."

" Truth or dare?" he smirked.

" Dare me," she smiled. " what's the worst you can possibly do?"

XXX

" Why is it always me who gets the harshest stuff?"

She shook in her kitchen chair as Edge dug through the fridge. Advent sat at the table, camera in hand while Lunatic, beside him, was smirking. DJ, Mora and Phoenix looked on in worry as Edge plopped a gallon of milk on the table.

" The Milk Chug Challenge. Chuck this milk in one hour and I'll forget all about that bucket of water . . . otherwise you could go moon senior citizens."

Kitten gulped and said,"C-Can't I do something else?"

He shook his head.

" Nope," he said. " Just do it."

" B-But I read that this is physically - "

" I gotta go with Kitty here," Phoenix said.

" Likewise," DJ said.

" DO it!"

" But - " Kitten whimpered.

" Just do it you wimp."

She sighed and upcapped the gallon, before glaring at Edge . . . or at least trying to glare at him.

" FINE."

She picked it up.

" But when I throw up, you're gonna be the one I throw up ON."

She started to drink the gallon of milk from the top, gulping quickly. The others' eyes went wide as she continued.

" No way . . ." Advent gaped.

" That's impossible . . ." Lunatic said.

She continued to drink it, as DJ started gagging.

" Holy crap, Kitty . . . " Phoenix said, then smirked," I guess eating gelato every day paid off! You go girl!"

" Fuck me that is awesome!" Edge laughed, slamming his hand on the table three times. " GO! Go! GO!"

Kitten was already three-fouths of the way there as she tipped the gallon more and more to her face. She was already shaking as she finished, now with the others laughing and cheering her on. She slammed the empty jug on the table, then lowered her head with pants of air to their cheers.

" HOLY JESUS CRAP!" Advent snapped a picture. " I have never seen someone chug milk before!"

" Oh man that was awesome!" Edge laughed, about top slap her back.

" Do . . . not . . . touch me . . ." she panted, looking pale. " I . . . have never done that before . . . feeling . . . nauseous . . ."

Edge stepped to the side and out of her way.

Phoenix laughed and ran to a cabinet, taking a Lactaid out. " Good thing we've got these . . . take one and the lactose won't come back up the hard way."

" G-Grazi . . . "

Kitten swiped the pill from her place and swallowed it with ease. She then narrowed her gaze at Edge and said between breaths," N-Now . . it's my turn . . . Edge, truth or dare?"

" Oh that figures . . . truth, so?"

" Worst pairing ever?"

" OH DEAR GOD LIGHT AND RYUUK! NOW i WANNA THORW UP! BRAIN BLEACH!"

Kitten snickered and raised her head an inch.

" I win . . ."

Lunatic and Advent steered clear of Kitten as Phoenix helped her up. She smiled at her and whispered something.

" No, you look fine . . . and yeah, the lactaid will totally help . . . just lay down when we get back upstairs and no messes will be made," she said," Deal?"

" Deal . . ."

XXX

" Worst movie ever, huh?"

Advent scratched the top of his head with the tip of his scythe, staring at Lunatic with unease. The others looked on in curiocity.

" Well?"

Silence.

" You REALLY wanna know?"

" Yes."

" Batman and Robin."

" No problems there, pal . . ."

XXX

` Phoenix gulped as she faced Kamalia's bedroom door. Beside her was a faltering and pale Kitten, a snickering Mora and Advent wearing a death grin with his camera around his neck. She shook heavily as she reached for the doorknob.

" I-I don't think I should do this . . . Kam and I are cool!"

" Tsk tsk tsk," Mora ticked his finger back and forth, before snapping to her with an added," I dared you. This, or reveal your tennis camp experience."

She gulped.

" Fine . . . "

She opened the door and rushed in, slamming the door behind her. After a few seconds of crashes, smashes, and slams, she reemerged without a breath. Advent snapped his photo in seconds as she death glared at him.

" You BETTER not post that on the internet . . ."

" L-Like I said . . . I learned my lesson with Nukes."

XXX

Lunatic was standing on his head, trying to button his lips. Facing him was Edge, who was laughing his head off. A simple dare, a simple torture.

Most embarrassing moment.

" SPEAK INSANO!"

" ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I WAS WRITING AN AUTOGRAPH FOR A KID WHO WANTED TO KNOW WHAT MY FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE WAS! IT TURNED OUT I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE OUT "AND LO THERE IS A BURNING PAIN IN MY LOINS" TO A NINE YEAR OLD!"

He fell over with a face redder than a cherry lollipop. The others were laughing their heads off.

" OH sure, laugh at the guy who made a mistake!"

" Y-Yeah . . . I-I can't breath!" Phoenix

" SHUT UP!"

XXX

" You gotta do it Deej!"

" Why can't Kitty do this?"

" Because if she stands, she'll heave . . ."

" Right . . . DP would be more ticked off."

Phoenix snickered as she looked back at him holding a microphone. Kitten was laying down still nearby, while Advent stood nearby, holding the same camera.

" I am so glad I got more film in here . . . " he covered his mouth.

Edge was panting on the floor from lack of breath. Laughing all day was becoming exausting to him. Lunatic sat beside him, wearing a grossed out face and ear-plugs.

" I am NOT doing this . . . Mora stop her!"

He waved his arms frantically, but the Demonyz turned away.

" Can I say this is revenge?"

" DANG IT ALL!"

Phoenix smiled and sat down, ushering him with her hand.

" Sing, little impish songbird . . ."

" Clever . . ."

DJ sucked in air as the music started, with his face turning redder and redder with each beat.

_**DJ: It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday . . . **_

XXX

Advent glared deep in Kitten's eyes, those blue pools of kindness. He slowly scowled at her, as she stared blankly at him. She blinked slowly, arms folded over her aching gutt. He gripped his scythe in his building of rage.

" Well, I said truth . . ."

She glanced at him, almost about to fall over.

" What's the question?"

He stood up and aimed his scythe as the others geared up to stopp him from saying -

" Are you really evil as everyone and I think so?"

" Heck no dude . . . the only thing evil about me is my bowels after I eat fatty foods . . . "

Silence.

" Huh . . . straight from the horse's mouth . . . . FAIR THEN!"

He sat down with a smile as the others gazed on with gaping maws.

" Who's next?"

XXX

" I have to do WHAT now?"

Mora's jaw dropped as he peered into Ross' room.

Clean and crystal clear of his presence, his bed was made and the floors seemed desolate of anything. Maying beside his bed was his intrument of literal battle, his pride and joy of the arts: Blood Rose.

His violin.

" There's no way he can do this . . . Ross will murder ANYONE who touches his violin, let alone make off with it like a bandit!" Phoenix whispered loudly.

" No argument there . . . Ranger puts up a fight with guns, Ross murders over his violin," Kitten whispered.

Mora gulped and tugged out his shirt, saying," I am not doing this, forget it!"

" Steal his violin," DJ snickered. " Go on, bro, I dared you! It's this, or you could kiss one of your harem."

" I'm going in, no contest . . ."

Mora gulped and tip-toed inside. He looked around the room: windows, floor, under the bed, dresser, under the dresser, beside the door, everywhere for cameras, or lasers or something. Mission Impossible or not, this was a literal suicide mission . . .

He wiped sweat from his forehead and gently picked up the violin by the neck. He gently loaded it onto the crook of his arm and gingerly grabbed the bow. He stepped out as fast as he came, shut the door, then turned to the others with a face that had seen death.

" Let's cheese it before Ross finds out . . . "

XXX

Far off, the Pokemorph turned back to where home was with narrowing eyes.

" Ross?"

Kam glanced to him.

" I sense something amiss with my violin . . . . but what?"

XXX

" I am going to kill you for this . . . screw what I said before, you ARE evil in the sense that you act like a small girl!"

Advent hissed as the others laughed, along with Kitten, who was adjusting something on his head. The normally dark and decrepid Advent was now dressed in a fuzzy white bunny suit with adjustable paws, a built-in leg warmer set, and in his hand was a pacifier. What Kitten was adjusting on his head was a familiar bonnet.

" Cuter than last Halloween!" she giggled," I knew it!"

" Aren't you supposed to be sick or something from the milk chug challenge?"

" Not anymore I'm not," she smiled. " Guess seeing you humiliated was uplifting!"

" Amen!" Phoenix laughed, high fiving her.

He hissed out," You both are gonna be slayed for Jashin . . . "

Lunatic, Edge, DJ and Mora were laughing and rolling all over the place from the scene. DJ snapped a few photos using Advent's camera, which he reached at desperately. Lunatic coughed out a few more laughs before sitting up, wiping his eyes.

" O-oh man . . . that was great!"

" DIE FAKER!"

Loony sighed once before turning to Mora. " Alright, my go, and Mora, truth or dare?"

" Truth."

" Favorite song?"

" Uh . . . I don't really keep tracks of favorites."

" Ah shoot . . ."

Mora smirked as he said," My turn now, mother-f*ckers . . . and, EDGE!"

Edge gulped as he looked at him. After the previous rounds had come and gone with numerous pictures of humiliations and truths, it was almost low as to the chances of any other dares they could perform without getting in trouble.

" Dare me sucker."

Silence.

" Boy do I have the dare for you . . ."

XXX

Edge gulped as he looked over at Trisha, who was sitting down in the kitchen. She softly sipped from a coffee mug, as she talked to Rook. He was straightening his hair and talking lightly about a voice in his head while Trisha was calming him down.

Edge peered at her chest, while Mora smirked at him. The others were lightly peering from the door. He pulled back as Mora pushed his lightly out.

" Alright, go," he whispered.

" I think this crosses the line . . ." Lunatic whispered.

" A-Agreed . . ." Kitten gulped with a light green complexion.

Advent nodded, still in the bunny suit, saying" First time I agree with the fakers . . ."

" Bad idea all around and - are you alright Kitty?" Phoenix asked her.

She gulped and whispered back," I-I think the stress of this is making me sick . . ."

Silence.

" We'll stand back just in case," Phoenix murmured.

" Cool as ice."

" Just do what I dared you to do," Mora smirked at Edge.

Edge sucked in and fellto the floor without a sound, slithering to Trisha's chair. Advent snapped silent pictures as the Leonine perspired with fear. The others were holding their breath with fear and anticipation.

" Hey Rook, you hear something?" Trisha turned her head opposite to the door.

" Nope," he said," Just Stupid Sexy Flanders . . . weird, 'cause there's no sign of danger . . ." he said, placing his Pepsi can down. " I've been hearing him all day . . ."

Trisha tsked and placed her hand on his, with a gentle," Rook, calm down. Maybe it's been on edge all day as much as you have."

He sighed and said with closed eyes, " Well, it never acts up unless danger abounds, and I know when danger is nearby . . . speaking of nearby, I haven't seen much of the younger Authors today either. Cannot be goo - "

" GAHCK!"

Trisha yelped as she tried to move, as Rook gawked. A set of hands were on his girl's chest, riding out of the chair. He rubbed his eyes twice before he growled.

" WHO THE HELL?"

She screamed and jumped from the chair, landing literally in Rook's arms. Edge fell flat on his back on the floor, turning to face the two.

Needless to say, he was more than angry . . . pissed off and furious were less than the words to use.

" Oh fuck me . . ."

The others dashed in as Advent snapped a few more pictures. Rook's eye-brow was twitching up a storm as Trisha was shaking and grabbing her chest. Advent and the others paled at the sight of the Keyblader now wielding his own blade.

" What the holy hell is going ON here?"

" Brooklyn rage anyone?" Phoenix gulped.

" We're busted and SO dead . . ." Lunatic shivered.

" Worth it though," Edge murmured.

Advent slipped him a bunny high five before Kitten started shaking.

" This cannot get worse, can it?"

" WHERE ARE YOU BRATS?"

Ross.

" Oh fuck me . . ." Mora whimpered.

Storming into the kitchen with his Blood Rose in his arm, the Deoxys Pokemorph growled at the ever-paling younger seven.

" Which one of you stole my violin and placed it in the loo?"

" Don't wail on them just yet, Ross . . ." Kam came in, baring fangs and claws. " Which one of you laid waste to my room?"

Phoenix gulped.

" Just got worse . . ."

DP stepped in with a shaking Hikari behind him. TL and D-Dude were glaring at the red head.

" Lunatic, you have some explaining to do!" TL growled.

Lunatic tugged on his shirt.

" Y-Yeah . . . about tha - "

" Advent, why the hell are you wearing a bunny suit?" X asked walking in, the Jashinist now turning red as a beet.

" IT WAS KITTEN!"

" Ri-ight . . . "

Kitten was now leaning on the breakfast nook counter as the others were now shaking with fear. The elder Authors were seething with fury.

" You kids have some explaining to do alright!" Rook yelled.

" Ah fuck us . . ." DJ gulped.

Kitten quivered as she sat down in a stool, now feeling a cold chill all over her body. Rook and a few other Authors noticed.

" Uh, Kitty?" he asked, stepping back warily. " You uh . . . alright over there?"

" I-I don't think that milk's setting well now . . ."

" Wait, I thought you were lactose intolerant . . ." Kam asked with a small quake.

" Ah crap . . ." Edge gulped.

Her eyes went wide as she said," S-Something's c-coming up . . ."

" HIT THE DECK!"

The next few seconds passed with a single stream of discolored milk infused vomit with the remains of chocolate, tea, and water. The mess covered half of the kitchen floor, along with parts of the counter. The white haired dragon whimpered and sunk her head on the counter, still lightly heaving.

" C-Calm down, Kitty, alright?" Kam said, shaken up. " Let's see if we can clean this up and get you into a sterile area."

" OH GROSS IT'S ON MY SHOE!" TL gagged, trying to wipe slime off. " OH I THINKI'M gONNA BE SICK!"

" I-I'm so s-sorry . . ."

Kitten whimpered as the others were paling.

" Oh that was so sick and so gross . . ." Edge cut his throat off. " I-I will not throw up . . ."

" No one else BETTER . . . punishments still need to be dealt with . . ."

" HOLY HELL?"

Marcus ran in, looking at the scene. " What the hell just happened?"

" Kitty's made a . . . a bit of a mess . . ." Hikari said, grabbing a squeegee mop.

" Reminds me a bit of Animal House . . ." he said. He gulped and paled as he ran to Kitten. " You alright?"

" I-I will be . . . although you may wanna move outta the way . . ."

She pursed her lips as he skidded out of the way, leaving another barf stream to shoot out and land. The other Authors began to leave the kitchen, as others began to dry heave.

" Can we label this as a fail day?" Lunatic gagged.

" OH yeah . . ." Edge shivered.

" Big time . . ." Kitten coughed.

XXX

The young seven Authors sat around in the living room, rain pounding on the windowpanes. Advent, Edge and Mora sat upside down watching TV while Kitten was laying on the other couch in the room, nearly asleep. Lunatic and DJ were sitting on the other two easy chairs while Phoenix was looking out the window.

The air?

Dank and miserable.

" The game was fun and all, but the punishments are unbearable . . ." she sighed. " Man, I can't even read! What akm I gonna do with my hands when I can't play KH or read a good book?"

" Want me to answer that?" Advent tried to snicker, but Phoenix shot a glare back at him. He sighed and said, " Hey, at least you're not stuck without appeasing your God . . . X took my scythe and told me any other sacrifices will be made after Valentine's Day of next year . . ."

" Harsh," Edge said.

" And Fuzzmane here was slapped with a lawsuit for sexual harassment in a workplace," he said.

" How is groping a woman on a dare in an FAF kitchen sexual harassment?" she asked.

Edge shrugged and said with a small sigh," I still gotta report to court ordered community service for a few more weeks."

" In this heat? Good luck," Lunatic sighed. " TL, D, Air and DP are still on my case. I can't be near Hikari anymore, not to mention Air's training to me just got doubled."

Advent flipped the channels as Kitten yawned, turning to her side.

Mora sighed as he said," DP took my guns away."

" Harsh, bro," DJ said. " Rook's got his eyes on me now as well, so now I guess I know how the Metagang feels . . ."

Kitten nodded, sitting up and rubbing an eye.

" I can't do anything without him being with me . . ."

" What about Princess there?" Advent hissed.

" No sweets, candies, or gelato . . ." Kitten whimpered out, suddenly. " I-I have a natural sweet tooth that needs to be saturated in sugar! Without sugar and sweets . . . I-I . . ."

She fell back as the others sheeshed.

" Well, that doesn't su - wait, no sodas?"

" NONE."

" Damn."

The group sighed as they said in unison," We also have a curfew of 8 PM sharp from here until two years from now . . ."

Silence.

TV blared with an old rerun of VH1's Best of I love the 80's.

" But it was worth it, right?" DJ asked.

" HELL YEAH!" the others yelled.

_With apologies to everyone!_


	14. Fanfiction Blooper Fighers!

_Let the random blooper funs begin! XD I only own Kitten and the Metagang, so please read, review and no flames! Thank you! _

_ *static*_

" It's so hot . . . not used . . . to . . . the heat . . ." he dragged along the floor. " Shooooot . . . meeeeee . . . ."

Ranger cocked a pistol.

" NOT LITERALLY!" Nukid shrieked.

Ranger gasped as his gun went off, shoot in him the knee.

" OH GOD! . . . OH MY GOD! OUCH! OH dear LORD! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH?"

" Hey, it was an accident!" he yelled.

" Crap!" Phoenix jumped as the others were running out for help.

" WHAT THE HELL MAN?" Nukid yelled. " I'M CRASHING YOUR SHIP FOR THAT!"

" HELL NO!"

" ONLY FAIR YOU JERKASS!"

Dawn groaned as she said," Can we cut now?"

_*static*_

" I'm up for people watching from a bench, BEST way to get a laugh from some of these people dressed like geeks," Lunatic laughed.

The others glared nearby as they heard him.

" Um . . ."

Silence.

" Look!" Kitten yelled and pointed towards another area." It's . . . oh dang it, what was the line again?"

The other groaned.

" It's about Vic Mignogna singing the theme to DNAngel," Quill pressed his nerves, then laughed adding," OR you could improv what Brian said in to Live and Die in Dixie."

" HECK NO!" D-Dude yelled offscreen.

_*__static*_

" Your leader's down . . ." they said.

" OH man we've been captured," Ross said, getting a Chaos Orb.

" Not without a FIGHT!" Jose said.

Ross suddenly burst out laughing as he fell over, holding his sides. Jose stood back up from his pose and shook his head.

" Okay, this is like the third time you've done this . . . can we go one scene without you laughing?"

" S-Sorry-y-y!" he laughed. " You look s-so crazy! S-so does everyone else!"

Hikari laughed as well, saying," Y-Yeah, let's cut and move on with another scene . . . I can't contain my laughte anymore, and neither can Ross-san."

Jose snickered and turned as the people behind the camera laughed as well. He shoved his hand over the lense.

" C-Cut!" he laughed.

_*__static*_

Scorpion, dressed as Ulquiorra, Haru, dressed as Szayel Aporro, and Nukid, dressed as Edward Elric, were standing in the FAF kitchen, all talking as a camera cleared up the lense and focused in on them.

Nukid was blinking awkwardly.

" So . . . THAT was what happened to get you two online?"

" Yeah, sadly," Haru turned bright red, then groaned," LAST tiem I touch sake."

" Likewise . . ." Scorpion groaned.

Nukid then slammed his hand on the counter, darkness overcasting his eyes.

" I also have one other question . . . "

He brightened up and laughed, asking," Where can I get some of THAT potion? Think of all the women I'd get!"

" Dude, don't you _have _a girl? Maria something?" Scorpion glared.

Nukid glared back.

" THAT is strike two," Nukid said.

Haru sighed drinking a soda.

" It was worse off another time," he said, placing the can down. " Because, one time, at band camp-"

He turned around, seeing the camera.

" Is that thing on?"

Scorpion and Nukid were gaping as they spoke, one at a time.

" Fuck -"

" Me."

_*static*_

Rook was shaking. Kitten was smiling as she leaned in with Haru, who was still drooling. She smiled and said," Poor Rook, you're like my big brother, and now you're gonna be like this? Too bad . . . at least there's a good side to this, Big Bro-ther!"

Rook tried to break free, too scared to do anything, shock taking over. Here he was, helpless and about to be killed, by the same teen he had tortured, who mocked him back, and by the girl who declared him his older brother, who was now going to eat him. What a way to go . . . he gulped as he saw the cleaver go up in Haru's hand.

" Wanna become one?" they asked at once.

Silence.

Rook glared and kicked Haru in the face, his tied now undone.

" Hell, this was abad idea from the start . . . Can SOMEONE please send someone other than Haru to do this?"

" H-How was I?" Kitten shivered, placing the knife down. " I didn't overdo it?"

" Fine and dandy, but you're also like Rika Furude," Rook rolled his eyes untying himself. " You need to tone it _down."_

A clicking sound was heard as DP peeked into the room. He groaned as he saw what was going down. There was a cameraman yelling in the background.

" Rook, we've gone over this, you HAVE to scream, or end up starting to . . . I mean, come on dude, what take is this?" he said.

" I'd rather not, and quite frankly, this IS scary, but I'm sorry," he stood up, dusting himself off. " It's about ten at night, I'm overtired, and having Haru's pizza breath over me for ten minutes at a time to get those scenes right is the limit . . ."

He walked off the set, other people walking around. Kitten sighed as Haru sniffed his breath.

" I-Is it . . . is it really that bad?"

" I'll be with Trisha is anyone needs me!"

_*__static*_

A moving camera was sneaking up behind Airnaturo, the music from Jaws playing in the background. He was talking to Ross and Loony near a stage-prop, a few lights also shining on them.

A large razor was in a hand as the other was holding up the camera.

Air was still talking as the music got louder, the razor buzzed, and then it skidded itself across the back of his head in one swoop, taking off a large portion of hair.

" WHAT THE FUCK?"

The others laughed, as the man behind the camera was laughing harder.

" Holy crap, man," Air laughed, now punching the cameraman," You are SO dead, Tal!"

" Haters gonna hate!" he laughed and ran off.

_*static*_

He coughed and spat, as everything went in slow motion. She was suspended, still kicking, slowly separating, as Advent was slowly being driven into the back wall where a hill of plushies from carious animes was lying. He landed in them, being coated in practically poofy plushies and contagiously cute characters. Kitten slowly landed on the ground, ice dragon wings outstretched and hands now clenched in fists.

He jerked upward in annoyance.

" Who keeps piles of plushies in their room like this? HONESTLY!"

" Oh don't you talk about my plushies! I like plushies!" Kitten said cowardly now, returning to normal.

Silence.

" That is the f*ckest thing I have ever heard, Ice-beard the Dragon."

" Ice hearted Jashin!"

" Dragon humping monkey!"

" Giving you my wings up . . ." she spun around, and jerked them upwards, smirking," at full force!"

" Horror whore!"

" Jashin loving piercer!"

" Innocent of the Devil!"

" Fefifoflip you off!"

" Dragon Wagon creaker!"

" Roddle roddle roddle!"

" ' Oh look at me I'm an innocent little dragon girl who's obsessed with things that are way beyond my comprehension and I like horror but hide that from others who see that fit!"

" DICK!"

" Tail knocker!"

" Jerkwad!"

" That's not the line!"

" So?" Kitten asked, calming down.

" Sure, a fatty like you can also say improv? You don't even look capable of fighting me . . ."

Her eyes went red.

" AGAIN WITH THAT? I AM NOT FAT!"

Advent gulped.

" I should have avoided that . . ."

" Your funeral!" Nukid yelled offscreen," Now just kill him, Kitty, just like I showed you! And move so I can film his comeuppance!"

" DICK!" Advent at him. " HAVE MERCY ON A JASHINIST!"

_*static*_

" Come on, Kitty," DJ said pushing her into the kitchen. " We gotta get some drinks on ass."

The others started laughing as DJ covered his mouth.

" I meant ICE! Oh my God, where did THAT come from?"

Kitten laughed and was bright red walking off, as Mora laughed walking past.

" Oh my God!"

DJ laughed and faced away from the camera.

" C-Cut! Cut already ! Just . . ." he moved as Phantos punched his shoulder playfully," Just cut."

_*static*_

" Meladonna, I found something in the Porche that I believe belongs to you . . . ," she said holding it.

She was holding up pink panties.

Edge was wide-eyed and gaping. " Is that? . . . Oh Good Heavens it is . . . . I am in the presence of PANTIES!"

The panties were suddenly surrounded by a holy light as a background check went " Awwwwww-". Hikari looked at them and blinked, then shook her head as she and Meladonna glared at each other. Meladonna crossed her arms and huffed.

There was a sudden silence as someone coughed.

" So, um . . . who's line was next?" Hikari asked.

Ranger slapped his face.

Edge was still eyeing the panties.

" So, are those real or a prop?"

The others glared at Edge.

" WHAT? Can't blame a guy for trying, right?"

_*static*_

XProdigy was on his bed, reading Bleach volume 24 when he heard swears in another tongue and bangs on the floor, the temperature change, and sighed as he heard Advent's yellings. He flipped a page of the book and shook his head.

" I'm not going to even ask this time . . ."

There was a clap from somewhere offstage as a man yelled," THAT'S A WRAP!"

X smiled and walked off the set, as Advent was being led out by Kitten. He had a black eye and was already groaning.

" Sorry, I was to hard wasn't I?"

" N-No, but really, lay off the gelato!" he laughed, then said," I RULE!"

He ran off, Kitten following red eyed.

" My brother, the one guy you do not wanna tick off . . ." X sighed walking off, still reading.

_*static*_

A loud stomping sound was heard as a red-faced and frustrated Hikari came in, wearing normal clothes and hair down and dried. She was steaming as she revealed red fiery eyes.

" Senpai, Kiva was a pervert to me!" she yelled.

" What?" DP asked standing up.

" Kiva was video-taping me as I was getting undressed!" she yelled, turning bright red all over.

Kiva was shaking, the camera shaking as well as the angry two turned to him.

" Kiva, what do you gave to say?"

He gulped, as Ranger was walking off the set. The others glanced over.

" W-What the hell?" Kiva yelled. " You're supposed to be pummeling me to death in a few minutes! Where are you going?"

" I'm getting a Red Bull and taking five, where the hell do you THINK I'm going?"

Kiva groaned as someone pressed the bell for lunch break.

" Third time people, THIRD TIME!" Kiva yelled, his hair flailing.

" Prima donna," Phoenix said annoyed.

" That's Haru, not me!"

" Don't drag me into this!"

_*static*_

" No chances that time!" Lunatic yelled across the table. " There's no possible way!"

" Tell it to the banker!" Advent yelled back, then pulled out his script, rereading it. " Excuse me, do I REALLY have to say that line? Can't I say something funnier?"

" Like what?" a man asked offscreen.

" I-I don't know, I-I can't . . . " Advent scratched his head," Just something a bit . . . funnier than this crappy banker line? Who writes this crap?"

" Just roll with it, Advent," Lunatic groaned.

" OH hell no, I am not saying that line!" he sighed.

" This could take a while," Goddess moaned.

_*static*_

Meanwhile, Wormtail sneezed, finishing up the mechanics on a newer invention. His lab was clean in several areas, minus a few tables being covered in many scatteredbrained materials and projects of superfluous importance.

On a separate table, which was covered, had a large piece of cardboard which read:

_**" SLAP THE NERDY GUY! HE'S IRISH, BABY!"**_

__BenValor and Wormtail laughed as they read the sign, Wormtail hitting the table.

" Who-who put this here?" he laughed.

IronMantis read it and laughed, falling over.

" OH man, who did that?"

Wormtail walked over to the camera as BenValor took the sign.

" We gotta use this for later on something else . . ."

" No more of the signs, TL!"

_*static*_

_With apologies to everyone._


	15. An Alternate Musical, Part One

_Okay, this is the start of the three-part Alternate Fighter musical set for the one-shots! I own Kitten and the Metamorphosis team, Dany Elfman owns the music from Nightmare Before Christmas, and I hope I got the characters right on the nose. I apologize for any issues, please read and review, and do not flame me. Thank you!_

" So, why call all of us here, Boss Wiz?" TL asked.

DP wrinkled his nose at the utterance of that all-too hated nickname. He sighed before he looked down the long table of the members of the Alternate faces he saw then were all the same as the Fictorian's, painted with confusion and bewilderment.

" I'd like to know too," Ranger grumbled. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he stated," I was sleeping off a hangover . . . "

" Too much cogniac and champaign over another bust?" Advent muttered.

A gun cock echoed.

" That doesn't scare me anymore, Twilight!" he yelled.

" Do NOT call me after that devastating book series!" he yelled.

" Please don't bring that up . . . " TL groaned.

" Hey, calm down!" someone yelled.

A fight was already breaking out, again . . . go figure. DP felt his knuckles turn white with rage as they clentched. He soon heard the sound of someone screaming and then a chair being thrown.

If only they had know why he had suddenly decided to call them into the meeting room. If only they knew what he was about to say. If only they knew what he was feeling, and if only he knew what their reactions would be.

Hatred? Disappointment? NO . . . Sadness? Resigning? Fury-

" THAT'S IT!", someone yelled.

THAT was the line.

" _**ENOUGH**_!"

The group froze immediately.

DP's red face and piercing, furious gaze were enough to cause the group to cease, silence themselves, and sit down within three seconds.

" THIS . . . is what I called everyone in here for today," he started. His voice took over a solemn persona as the others looked on from their shadowing seats. " Over the past year, we have had to eject two separate members, have suffered the near loss of three members, and had to regain one from the forces of darkness.

" Team relations are at an all-time low . . . sad to say. Half of the time, when someone isn't being the butt of the joke, or literally the subject of someone else's selfish pranks, someone is threatening someone else with a scythe, a knife, mana, a magical blast, sabers, claws, fists, a .22 caliber, or, as of recent, a dog leash."

" O-okay, that last one was an accident, and I can explain that," Tal said, forcing himself not to laugh.

" Tal Ordo, now is not the time or place," DP sadly stated.

The Mandalorian felt his head bow in respect.

" I expect more out of everyone . . . if we all live together, we all must get along, or at LEAST make an attempt to," DP stated. There was something quivering in his voice as he spoke. " Because of this, I have paid for over 1,000,000$ in damages and new paneling for my mansion ALONE . . . I do not want to get started on D-Dude's experimental backfire last week . . . "

The dinosaur Fictorian coughed lightly and flicked his tail back and forth.

" Aside from the bad blood, we have recieved several complaints about members of the Alternate Fighters . . . " He opened the binder and pulled out some paperwork. He coughed lightly as he darted his eyes down the table and the paper. " Ranger, you have been arrested for multiple assaults, threatening the police, and as of recent, trying to kill a cosplayer who resembled a Darkside, according to this police report."

Ranger sighed and growled," He never told me, I didn't think he was fake, and I'm already paying off his hospital bill. I also did him a kindness . . . gave him a reason to not go to the darkside."

" Ha ha," DP continued. " Rook, you've got noise complaints . . . " He looked up and glared. " DUDE . . . YOU need a hobby . . . "

The white haired man turned a bright red as the kitsune pulled at her shirt collar a bit. Nearby, Edge snickered and sat up completely.

" You're not out of this either, Edge," DP stated.

" OH crap baskets . . . "

" You've got speeding tickets for your motorcycle, and according to one officer, you . . . flipped him the bird?"

" I swear, my finger went in the wrong direction, and Naruto was on the bike with me!" he growled. " OH for Pete's sake, you're gonna call everyone out, huh?"

He nodded.

" I-I'll bet Hikari's got nothing!" He said and pointed at her.

" O-on the contrary, Edge-san . . ." Hikari faltered her voice. She twiddled her thumbs and said," I-I ended up crashing a few shop windows when we stopped some Darksides . . . I said I would pay for them, and I forgot . . . for a good three years . . ."

Edge puckered his lips and slumped back down, saying," That's a good three thou' right there . . . "

Rook slapped his forehead, still red, and said," With what we deal with, I'm not surprised."

" Exactly," DP sighed. " There's also issues with the public on Kamalia, X, Ross, the Fictorian's Easter celebration that ended with several rotten eggs about town-"

" Hey, I cleaned them up!" Lunatic shouted from the back.

" -Tal's guns, Advent's killing sprees, Nukid's internet video - "

" I SAID I WAS SORRY!"

" Dj and his brother, mostly for public reapings . . . and on-the-side kills . . . "

" I-I try to do my work in secrecy, but hey, Death cannot be hidden in crowds," DJ shivered, then clutched his scythe.

" It also can't be hidden alleyways or drug motels," Mora snickered.

" OH come on, I escort people! YOU kill without mercy!"

" An' for money half the time," Mora murmured.

" What?" DP and DJ asked.

" Nothin'."

DP sighed and added," There have also been ice melting bills for parts of LA, and recent sightings of the Metamorphosis team going completey bonkers on SAKE . . . "

Everyone turned to Kitten, who whimpered and slid further into her chair. DP sighed and placed the papers back into the binder.

" I'm afraid everyone in here, including me, is up to our knees in citywide complaints, addressments, legalities and battles within the United States and-or other countries," he stated matter of factly, then turned towards the open window. " So much so . . . the mayor of Los Angelos has given me an ultimatum."

The group remained silent.

" Pay up or get out."

" BULLCRAP!" Edge yelled, slamming his hands down. " NO way is that gonna happen!"

" They CANNOT kick us out of our home!" Ranger said, cocking his rifle.

" We protect the city, the world . . . " Kamalia said, then growled out," They CAN'T just toss us aside like a tumbleweed!"

" HELL NAH!" Tal yelled.

" I agree with Kam," Ross said, then gripped his fists. " And I am NOT going without a fight!"

" _D-Demo _. . . " Kitten shivered.

Rook smirked and said," Think a Persona-fication might change his mind?"

" Boo," Phoenix growled, then shut her book. " THINK LOGICALLY, people . . . "

A dark silence escalated.

" If it were that simple, the city would have paid for all of this . . . obviously, we've given the city and the mayor MANY a reason to distrust us over the past few years . . . along with good reasons to distrust each other," Phoenix stated bluntly.

Advent blinked as he said," D-Damn . . . you know, when I agree with someone it's odd, but . . . I agree."

Hurricane's Quill and Marcus nodded side by side.

" Exactly . . . " Quill sighed. " I have to agree with Phoenix and DP here. WE caused this mess, WE have to clean it up, WE have to pay the price . . . no matter the cost."

Marcus sighed and whimpered," Although I wish mine didn't involve a couple zeroes . . ."

" Agreed," Edge sighed nearby.

The Fictorian brothers all nodded at once and said," Yep."

" _D-demo . . . " _Kitten whimpered again.

" My question now is how the Jashin are we gonna PAY all that?!" Advent yelled.

" AHEM . . . "

Everyone turned back to DarkPaladinmon, who was giving them another cold stare over his shoulder. They returned to their seats and resumed their silence.

" Thanks," he said. He turned back around, giving a sad smile. " As for payment, the mayor did agree to something: if we can raise the money to pay all of these off, along with the damages, over the course of seven days, he will forget the debt and agree to let the Alternate Fighters stay to fight another day."

There were bright smiles on several faces as he spoke.

" Faith in humanity restored," Phoenix sweetly stated.

" However, he was very adament over HOW the money should be gained," he said. He reopened the binder and traced a finger down a few pages. " It should be gained legally, thorugh fundraising means, and NOT be forced out of anyone."

A few people groaned.

" You all had to see that coming," XProdigy said, then stood up. " Were there any ideas or proposals as to HOW we can get it?"

" Lemonade stand?" Ranger joked.

Dp stayed silent for a moment before he slowly smiled.

" Musical."

The silence before was nothing compared to the silence now: everyone had a sort of gaping expression, Advent was about to slice his own head of, and Ranger's trigger was about to be plucked.

" I-I'm sorry, DP . . . " Quill stumbled over his words. " I thought I heard something insane in my ear . . . wh-what did you say?"

DP smiled and had his hands behind his back.

" Mu-si-cal."

Another silence.

" FUCK my life . . . " Tal growled.

" SECOND," D-Dude sighed.

" THIRD . . . " Kiva groaned. The member who had remained silent during the entire meeting was now speaking up, and standing up. " DP, in all honesty, I do NOT think this is a logical way to solve this problem . . . can't we just - "

" I'm sorry, Kiva, but the mayor gave me strict restrictions this time around . . . " he sighed.

" So what, you're on HIS leash now?!" Kiva yelled back.

" Good one," Tal snickered.

" It's NOT like that . . . " he growled.

Kiva narrowed his eyed as he said," He said something else, didn't he?"

Quill stood up immediately, sword at his side. He growled out," What did he demand?!"

" N-No," DP sighed. " Just that this was the only other option we had . . . "

" No, he said something else," Kiva smirked.

" Spill the beans, DP," Edge said, charging his mana.

Ranger reloaded his rifle and cocked it.

" _Sensei_?" Kitten squeaked.

Rook and Trisha peered up eerily.

" NO!" DP yelled.

" SAY IT!" Lunatic yelled.

" Just spill already!" TL yelled.

" SAY IT!" a few others yelled.

" ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" DP yelled, now red faced. " HE THREATENED TO DEPORT A FEW MEMBERS TO THEIR HOMES OF ORIGIN!"

A final deadly silence loomed over the graveyard of a room. The former steady leader choked and finally cracked his voice. Kiva fell back to his chair, but missed and landed on the floor.

" Wh-wha-"

" He-he threatened to forcefully disband the entire Alternate Fighter team if the debt is not repaid . . ." he sobbed. He covered his face with his hand, feeling tears form and drop. Hikari stood up and patted his shoulder as he continued, escalating to giving him a hug and hiding her own face in his chest. " In those terms . . . it means sending everyone to their own dimensions, realms, and homes away from here."

The silence escalated as more tears fell.

" N-No . . . " Kam started crying. " W-we . . ."

" We-we'll be separated?" TL gasped.

Phoenix kept the book up, hiding the tears that were falling into the pages.

Ranger stood up, pushed his chair in, and stepped out of the room. The slam of the door and cursing in the hall was enough to get the idea of what he felt.

Kitten was already fullblown crying, and took to hugging Rook. He gently patted her head as he felt hiw own stinging tears form. The Persona user looked back up with a face filled with anger and fear.

" He can't . . . "

" S-somehow, he CAN, Wildrook . . . " DP sighed, wiping his tears. " Within seven days, if the money is not collected, it will immediately be reported to the IRS in Washington, DC. The mansion will be torn down by the setting of the sun on the seventh day . . . "

" Fuck . . ." Advent growled.

" Forget that . . ." Edge growled. " NO chances is this guy doing that!"

" He's the mayor, Edge," DP sighed. " And a mayor of one of the most income-driven cities in the United States to boot. He can even take this to the Supreme Court if he wanted . . ."

He turned to a picture on the desk. The man in the photo looked like he was of Hispanic decent, and had a goatee with a mild mustache. His dark hair was greased back, and the combination of looks and suave brown suit gave him an air of sophistication. His eyes, however, remained dead and cold.

" Heaven knows why he hasn't," DP sighed.

" Then, that's where the musical comes in . . . " Quill started in slowly.

" Precisely, Quill," DP stated back. " He said it was the only other option. He allowed sanction and use of a theater in an upscale part of town that we can use for the musical. If we can raise the amount needed, then we will be able to live and fight here without issue."

There were slight whispers abounding as Rook escorted Trisha and the sobbing Kitten out of the meeting room.

" SO," Advent sighed, " now, we have to do this . . . _musical_, or else the mansion, the team, and HQ are comin' down?"

" Sad to say, Advent . . . " DP sighed sadly. He closed the binder and laid his glasses down. " Sad to say . . . "

A deep silence embraced the group.

" One other question," Marcus asked. " How much is needed?"

" From compiling the bills and everything . . . " he sighed," $1,567,495 dollars and 62 cents."

He gave a sad smile to all of them and stood back up with Hikari.

" I hope you all have the state of mind to do this . . . I would hate to have to return to the Digital World for this . . . Let's do this, open in a week, and save the day!"

" YEAH!" Edge jumped up on the table. " We can do this, people!"

" Still sounds like a load of bull," Tal sighed, " But . . . "

" What if we don't PREFER musicals?" D-Dude pointed out.

" Lighting and costuming?" Phoenix suggested.

DP nodded and said," Meeting adjourned. See you all in an hour at the location of the theater."

The group left the room immediately, leaving dust and a few scraps of paper. DP and Hikari were the only two left standing. She let go of him, but froze in place.

" S-sempai . . . " Hikari said looking at his face. " I don't want to leave you . . . or anyone . . . I don't want to leave this plane, this world . . ."

DP saw tears forming in her eyes swiftly as he walked over. He hugged her tightly, then swiftly kissed her.

" I know . . . I don't want to leave either," he sighed. " I would hate to leave this world, and the team . . . and you."

She gripped his hands and said," Promise me . . . "

He tightened his grip and said," Promise."

The Balance let go gently of his hands and slowly left the room. The door shut slowly as the Digital Duel Monster was left standing in a cold and silent meeting room. He felt a slow chill descend as he raised a hand. With a swift aura appearing, the shades of the window shut and the curtains drew back.

He pulled a chair back and sat down.

" If only I could keep that promise . . . "

He sighed and tilted his head back. A slow haunting melody began to play as he felt the cold of the room embrace his body. He sat back in the chair and looked ahead. The song was so close, yet so distant.

" Oh Lord, what do I do . . . ?"

He sighed silently as he started standing up. The melody increased in volume as he felt his lungs swell up with an urge. He braced his hands on the table before him and took a deep breath.

He had to.

The melody was already playing, the moment was right . . .

He opened his mouth, and in with the haunting melody, he began to sing.

" _**I have mastered magic's light, and carried on with the fight**_

_** against Evil and the villains that they breed."**_

__He barred his hands and felt the melody embrace himself again. He gripped his own fist as a light blue fire appeared over each knuckle.

" _**I've seen them run in fear, saying 'Alternates are here!',**_

_** and have aided this world and town with what they need . . . "**_

__He smirked lightly, feeling tears form, as chairs began floating in midair. The table where he once laid his hands and head was floating in the center as he continued.

" _**And the powers I possess are of no pure contest**_

_** when compared to those on the Vegas' street."**_

__He spun his fingers and the table and chairs began to spin and dance along with the Digital Duel Monster. He was right in the center, right in the middle, as they spun and performed pirouettes.

_**" No mere mortal or man can match the feats I can!**_

_** Not even that Criss Angel the Mindfreak!"**_

__He launched his hands over his head, and sent the table and chair into their original position. The light tone from before, the light he had felt while he sung before, was gone now. The darkness had returned.

The imminent disbanding of the Alternate Fighters was looming over his head once more, and the mayor was holding the strings.

Would he even have the gutts to address him man to Digi-man?

For the sake fo everyone he loved?

He sighed as he felt the cold creep back in.

_**" And yet, now . . . in my team's time of need . . . **_

_** I know that most of all, they truly need me . . . "**_

__He walked to the desk and placed his hands on a framed photograph. The photo was of him and the entire team as it was in previous years . . .

_**" My magic is no use, my mind is in unease . . . **_

_** and the family I embraced needs more than a calm-ing bree-eeze . . . "**_

__He placed the memory down and felt himself choke up with tears. He sat down and braced himself.

" _**Oh, the aches and pains in my heart**_

_** are start-ing to rip me apart . . . "**_

__He wiped his eyes and looked down the table, remembering each member's face and expression, their quirks . . . soon it would be nothing but a mountain of rubble.

He bit his lip and slowly sang," _**And soon that state . . . will e-cho the team . . . "**_

__He began to leave the room, giving one last look back.

A single tear was falling.

" _**And all . . . of this . . . will have just been . . . a . . . dre-ee-am . . . "**_

__The meeting room door gently shut.

_With apologizes to everyone, and to be continued in part II!_


	16. Alternate Fairy Tale, Part I

_This will be awesome, I can gurantee it! It's taken FOREVER to write and rewrite it, but I think I have this to a good condition now! At least, just barely . . . anyways, this is a story I had thought up before, wanted to do, I'm doing it now, and this will be awesome! I only own the Metagang and the story idea, references are just references, and the other OCs in the story belong to other members of the Alternate Fighters._

_Please read, review, enjoy and revel in the awesome!_

"Great . . . power's out!" Phoenix groaned. She slammed the controller down as thunder boomed outside. She stood up in the inky darkness and started to stumble about, mumbling something about the dang-gum weather and the dang-gum electricity. "Sucks when this happens . . . I get getting to a good part in Kingdom Hearts, too!"

She reached her door, opened it, and saw more darkness ahead. She was aware of a storm that was on the horizon when she started doing her 'me-time', but she ever thought it would get this bad. Thunder and rain bashed and boomed outside, and combined with the thick darkness, it was almost terrifying. She gulped, sighed, and kept marching onward. Her mutterings became incoherent as she continued her trek, while the wind and rain howled outside.

"Some time to play the game . . . 'play Kingdom Hearts', I thought. ' It'll be fun', I thought. Well, me, you were wrong as usual about that!"

Phoenix stopped in the darkness, then narrowed her eyes.

"Okay, first sign of insanity, talking to yourself. Second sign, having a conversation with yourself . . . don't wanna go down that pathway again . . . "

She turned a few corners of hallways before she felt her foot slip into nothing. The lightning illuminated her placement: she was near the stairs.

"Whoops, that almost ended badly!"

She turned about, then sighed.

"And given the weather, it could have been way worse . . . "

Phoenix marched on in the darkness, letting her cape sway with each step. She had to regroup with the other Alternate Fighters. Last thing they needed was Kitten freaking out again; no one wanted a repeat of last year's snow storm.

She turned another corner before she found herself illuminated in an orangish-bright light. Wait, light? The power was out!

She turned her head, seeing the light coming from an open door about two feet away. The guardian blinked before she peered into the room. A fire was burning in a chimney seat, and several candles were lit inside.

"The others must have regrouped in the library," Phoenix murmured. She smiled and creaked the door open. "Hopefully this means I can find some enlightenment."

Thunder bashed and lightning clashed as she entered the library, which seemed to span upward into two to three stories of books, papers and scrolls. Spells lined the walls and marked books were pulled on their sides for alter readings. A podium nearby held the most candles and hosted a tome of time spells.

Near the fireplace, a coffee table was sitting, covered in books, coffee cups half-full and flat, and papers. Pencils were nowhere, given only way to bookmarks and pens. The couches both in front of and behind the warm glow were empty, save for the occassional pillow and squished seat.

Phoenix took a deep breath and let a long and happy sigh out.

Her cave.

"Man, I never get tired of that smell . . . "

She walked further in, and began to look about the main area of the Alternate Fighters Private Library. She looked up, down, and ultimately found -

"No one is here? Great . . . they must be in the HQ part then."

She sighed as she passed another shelf that was enstilled with large-bound books.

"So much for having a good relaxation time tonight, girl . . . and here I was about to beat Sephiroth on hard mode in KH," she said. She leaned against the shelves and added, "Not to mention this kind of thing would be best dealt with through some company . . . "

Her elbow suddenly tapped a soft cover. She yelped and turned about, but found nothing but the book she tapped.

"Oh, just a leather-bound. Oh man, I'm losing it . . ."

She swiftly pulled the book from the shelf and blew off some dust. Her eyes went wide as she saw the detailed golden-engraving on the cover. It looked like a phoenix, surrounded by smaller auras of magic. The spine was in good condition, and there was a small red-strapped bookmark stitched to the side.

It was gorgeous.

"When did we get this one?"

She flipped the pages, seeing smaller words within. The pages even felt smooth and thin.

"I thought DP didn't have anything like this!" she exclaimed.

Phoenix dashed to the couch, leaped over the side and sat with a poomph. She turned the book back to the front cover and gently felt along the lining. Such a book, such details . . . surely what was written within it was worth the amount of gold on the cover times ten!

"Maybe I can have that relaxation after all," she whispered.

Phoenix carefully opened the cover to the cracking of the fire, and read the title.

" The Phoenix Prince and his Seven Companions, or a Tale of Light and Darkness."

Her tongue tingled.

"I like that . . . reminds me of R. R. Martin."

She slowly turned the page again, and began to read aloud the tale . . .

"Far off and long ago, in the days of magic, might and mystery, there existed a mythical land, hidden from human eye, and each morning, it sang in harmony with nature . . . "

Sprawling hills and mountains came to life as birds chirped to the sounds of nature. Babbling brooks conversed for the first time as the sun's light touched a bright white steeple. It shined brightly at the top, then quickly spread before the lands with the rainbow rays of the sun. Buildings were touched and turned different colors in the morning sun, and good tidings sprang upon the wind. Animals brayed, oxen mewed, and people crowed at the light from the steeples.

The light spread further as the steeple seemingly split into threes, then tenths. The towers had sprouted, almost as if by magic, from the purest of white stone. It shimmered and changed colors within the light, and glimmered with the golden rays about brass and bronze. It looked as if it had been touched by the gods.

The town quickly came to life, as Phoenix's voice carried distantly on the winds.

_ A hamlet, nestled within the center of this land, was always surrounded by the light. Each morning, the bright rays shined on them, illuminating their happiness and freedom._

Passing people waved while a child ran through the streets, laughing. Other children followed while a carriage swiftly drove through the streets. The carriage itself seemed almost out of control, aside from the occassional flipping and yells of pedestrians.

_Within this kingdom, called the Kingdom of Light, a duo of rulers had begun their new lives together. They had already been married for several years, experienced the lights in their hearts, and enjoyed each other thoroughly._

_ Their new lives, as a family, started one fateful morning, when the sun shined atop the highest steeple, and King Raika had returned from another land._

The carriage barreled into gleaming golden gates of the castle. The horses drawing the carriage whinnied loudly as the carriage turned about, then stopped near a large stoop of steps. Out of the carriage, at nearly the same speed, a man with short reddish hair emerged. He wore no cloaks nor rich fabrics, but the dark eyes hid light that shined a thousand times brighter.

He stumbled up the stairs, panting heavily. He slammed open the door, and turned about. Maids and servants greeted him happily.

"Good morning and welcome home, King Raika!"

"WHERE IS SHE?!" he yelled back.

His breathless, frantic expression, and odd demeanor, was enough to make their skins pale. A young servant approached the king and pointed upstairs, then did a turning motion with his finger.

"THANK - " he coughed. "Thank you, young one."

Raika started barreling up the stairs before tripping, got up, then kept running. Another maid, running over, was already breathless.

"Has he heard yet?"

"No, not a soul told him," another maid with long hair giggled. "He'll be so excited!"

"He seemed more worried than excited . . . "

"That does worry me, but when he get excited - !"

On the next floor, Raika kept running against the bright sun and sky from the windows.

_King Raika, after having been gone for a month to another kingdom, had every reason to worry. It all involved his Queen Tomoe, and the moment their lives would change forever._

_ At least, for the time being._

He skidded to a halt in front of a door and panted heavily before running a hand through his hair. He rubbed something on his head before he shakingly grabbed the doorknob. No time like the present, he thought. And she had to be okay . . . she just had to be.

He yanked the doorknob, and ran into the room.

"Tomoe! Tomoe, my darling, are you alright?!"

He was greeted with a pillow being thrown at his face. He blinked and coughed up a feather.

"Well, glad to see you too, honey," he laughed lightly.

" Likewise, and you're late, Raika."

Laying in the bed, looking playfully agitated, was a beautiful woman adorned in sunkissed skin. Her hair was long and golden as the rays of the sun, while her eyes spoke volumes of the sky. She was cradling something within her arms, which seemed to move lightly every now and again.

"Forgive me," he sighed. Raika walked forward to her, then kissed her. "I was caught off-guard yesterday, and the carriage had a flat horse's leg."

"Simple excuses," Tomoe sighed lightly, then added with a smile, "I was already in the tretches of pain when I sent that message. You're lucky you arrived on time."

"As is this little one," Raika said, now staring happily at the bundle.

She uncovered the top of the bundle. Raika's eyes went wide as he bore witness to the child. The skin was peachy, the tuft of hair was yellow as the sun, and the little hands gripped at the blanket.

"Ah, he's perfect!" he whispered. "Have you given him the name we decided?"

"Yes," she smiled happily. "In accordance with the season, and his looks, his name shall be Haru."

He laughed silently as he moved the cloth away from his head. He gave a deep smile as he saw the baby smile.

"It seems he has taken after me."

"Poor lad," Tomoe said with a laugh.

"Oh come now, it just means he will grow up to be like me! What can make a father more proud than that?"

"That is why I am upset," Tomoe snickered. She then whispered, "I'd just glad he has not inherited your awful hair."

He smoothed his hair out nervously before adding, "You know how I am aware of your hatred for this color . . ."

"I told you to dye it," she giggled.

_The king and queen of the Kingdom of Light had welcomed a new line of light into their hearts in the form of their new son, Prince Haru. He followed in physical appearance and magic linesof his father, while he gained the appearance of his mother. _

_ In true essence, he was a gifted child. Both in light magic and blood._

_ However, that same day, there was some wicked ways in the works . . . ones that started to move on the day of the prince's birth . . . _

"Your highness!"

Rapid steps, rapid breaths.

"Your - oh my! Your highness!"

King Raika and Queen Tomoe glanced up as the servant from before now stood, panting heavily, in the doorway. Surprise overtook them both as the infant whimpered. Tomoe cradled him closer as Raika stood firm.

"What goes on, young one?"

"S-s-sire . . . " he groaned.

"Take a breath and speak yourself," Tomoe said calmly. "And quietly if you will."

The boy nodded as he gave the king a look that made him pale. Tomoe bit her lip as the servant finally regained his composure.

"There . . . has been a message . . . from _them._"

The two looked at each other before nodding.

"I'll see what they have to say," Raika said firmly.

Tomoe kissed his cheek and whispered,"Be careful."

"I will be."

He swiftly left the room with the servant, leaving Tomoe behind. She felt her heart sink as she looked back at the sleeping child. How could something so wonderful occur when something so horrible had to follow?

_The kingdom was not without its enemies, and the largest threat to the Kingdom of Light was the Kingdom of Shadows, located in the Northern territories. _

_ Needless to say, their reputation was weighty._

The king and the servant reached the foyer, which was now filled with panicked servants and maids. They all have the same expressions of fear, rage and confusion. Between shoves, he was grumbling.

"Oh today of all days . . . everyone! Dispell your groups! This is of no concern to you all!"

The royal pushed his way between waves of people before he saw the point of their convergence. A suit of Shadow armor was placed in the center, inside of what looked like a makeshift coffin. The hands were folded over the chest with a white rose in the center.

"Oh gods," Raika swore.

The servant boy was sighing.

"Sad to say, your highness. I-I just let someone come in, and the next thing I know, the armor is thrown in with a note."

"Note?" Raika said with shock. "Where is it now?"

The boy pulled out the paper and handed it to the king. The servants and maids, ignoring the previous commands to dispell, looked on in terror. Their faces matched the mood perfectly.

Raika opened the letter.

Silence fell.

" 'To the leader of Light, consider this a gift of war for you and . . . '" Raika started, then paled instantly. " 'For . . . your son . . . '"

He glanced to the armor, face unreadable, and crushed the letter in his hand.

_On this very day, the Kingdom of Shadows had announced their own pattern of assault. Long had the two kingdoms warred, and now was no different. The threat, however, was what fired King Raika to bits._

_ To think his infant son, newly arrived to the world, was now the target of Shadows, made his blood boil. His queen shared the same notion. To imagine a world ruled with darkness, and without their son, was enough to bring the queen to tears. _

_ With this, and the combined 'gift' from The Shadows, they announced a retaliation plan, one the kingdom had no choice but to obey._

Raika, now standing from a balcony of marble and white stone, looked down at the masses of people gathered below. Tomoe, holding the young Haru, nodded to him. He gave a confirmational nod and turned to his kingdom.

"Citizens of the Kingdom of Light . . . "

The noise and bustle stopped.

"We have recieved a message of war from the Kingdom of Shadows . . . "

The silence of death echoed for miles. The joy and light on the people's faces was gone, and fear and anger quickly recolored their eyes. The ground was a tapestry of emotion to the royals.

"They will begin to attack us this year," he said. "I am issuing a proclamation of war against them as well. I require the strongest men from each household, from each force of law, from each smithery, from each reach of the kingdom, to come and follow my strongest generals in battle."

Behind him, Tomoe was looking down in defeat. No use but to fight now. There was no conversing with Shadows, or their warriors.

"I will ensure this threat is neutralized within the year, and I give an extended thanks to those who wish to battle these villains," Raika said, then added," And if so much as one soldier deserts the army, they will be stripped of all honor and rank."

There was some flurries of talking beneath him, and most of the people beneath him began to cheer. Swarms of citizens cheered for their king, young men saluted, men hugged their wives, and wives began to weep. Children grew confused but decided to cheer, and everywhere, the light returned to the people.

Raika sighed heavily before he turned to Tomoe and hugged her. Haru, now cradled in the crook of her arm, slept in peace. He let go as he turned to a man standing in the door, dressed in pure white armor.

"Sir Rose, set forth and begin to gather the men," he sighed. "They must be trained immediately, and we will need all the forces we can gather."

"Yes your highness," he responded, and left immediately.

The royals turned once more to each other before looking into the sky above, which was now turning from bright and clear to clouded and gray.

_A modest war proposal. That was all King Raika could muster at this point. Tomoe, however defiant about his fighting and protesting of beginning any wars, gradually allowed the proclamation. While it twisted both their hearts, they had no choice._

_ War was the only answer, and that was all they'd get from the Shadows. _

Knights of black and white armor clashed over many a dirtied and bloodied battlefield, clanging swords and shields. Horses whinnined, men yelled, and smithers banged away on hot irons.

_ After the proclamation was issued, training and fighting began almost immediately near the kingdom borders. In the first few battles, the kingdom came out on top, never losing one knight._

_ Until the Kingdom of Shadows faced them with an . . . indecent method of battle._

As knights wearing white charged into battle, a man stood in the front of both armies, clad in steel-permitted armor, wielded a chain. On the end of the chain, in front of him, was the scaled neck and massive wings of a darkened dragon, scales shrouded in pure inky black shadow. His roar was massive, and his stance was humanoid.

He flapped twice before he shrank in size and stature. His scales entreated to peach skin, his wings flapped behind him in massive gargoyle folds, and his red, piercing eyes, were enough to terrify any man.

The army of Light scattered as the holder of the chain swiftly let go.

The red eyes gleamed in the decaying sunlight.

_The casters of darkened magic had summoned an unstoppable demon in nature, a dragon, one capable of killing a hundred men in a minute. While the shadows had employed demons and goblins, never before had they bothered to use dragons._

_ Until now._

_ And that had made all the difference._

_ The Kingdom of Light never withstood the dragon's rampages. After three consecutive defeats, the light knights reached out for their own griffins, mermaids and wizards to compat the Kingdom of Shadows._

A large scan of a bloodied battlefield rolled on as armies clashed with both magic and might on each side. Armors blended and magic spells flew between people.

It was mass chaos.

_The fighting raged on longer than the king anticipated._

_ His promise of stopping the war within the year turned into two, then three . . . the people began to lose faith in their king, and his will was faltering because of it. He never let it show, though._

_ As the years passed and the fighting grew, so did the prince, and so did his appetite for adventure and trouble._

A boy, about eight, was laughing and running through a hedge-maze. His golden hair flowed behind him as he took another swift turn. He was dressed in fine clothes, and about his neck was a bright necklace, which held an odd pendant.

He skidded to a halt and turned to another pathway before running down it.

"Oh man," he laughed lightly.

He slowed down and came to a swift stop. he turned around, scanning his back.

"I think I lost - "

"FOUND YOU!"

BLAM!

Prince Haru landed flat on his back, and pinning him down was another boy, who was wearing a smart alleck expression. His hair was dark as shadows itself, and his own clothes looked more worn than Haru's.

"Oh man, you got me!"

"I told you I was faster!"

"Fine, you got me! Now get off!" Haru laughed.

The boys laughed before they sat up. A clanking sound echoed nearby.

"Prince Haru! You know you are not to be running about the maze at this hour!"

"Oh nuts, we'd better run . . . " the dark haired boy yelped.

"Yep," Haru said, then laughed and yelled," RACE YA!"

"You're on!"

The two sprang up before taking off, followed by the clinking of armor. Their smiles and laughter echoed in the castle garden.

_Prince Haru grew up inside the castle, rarely leaving without the watchful eyes of his parents. It was for his own safety, they kept saying. They couldn't stand to see him hurt, they replied to his begs of leaving for meadows._

_ The young boy grew swiftly, and befriended the son of a servant. The two quickly became the best of friends, and were rarely seen apart. They would eat together, laugh and play together, and often ended up taking naps together._

The boys darted into the kitchen, sliding past a cook, who laughed as he watched them run.

Their faces had pure delight on them.

_ They were inseperable._

_ At least, until the servant and his family vanished. _

As the sun set one day, Prince Haru looked outside, gripping the necklace.

_ The moment was sudden for everyone in the kingdom was shocked to hear of their departure, and rumors swirled about, but none touched the prince's ears. _

He sniffled and murmured something before he buried his head in his arms.

Beside him was Tomoe, who stroked his head lightly, tears in her own eyes. King Raika was beside her as well, looking off in the distance.

A storm was brewing.

_In turn, the prince became devastated. His only friend gone, his heart sank into sorrow that seemed almost endless. The King and Queen, in turn, felt their son's pain. _

_ And felt fear for their kingdom as a result . . . _

"Wait, wait, wait - !"

Phoenix turned her head up with a jump and scream. She felt her color drain slowly as she saw a familiar Fictorian ninja before her on the opposite couch. He was staring at her as if she were insane.

She steadied herself as Lunatic snickered and said,"You look like you've seen a ghost . . . "

"HOW DID YOU GET HERE!?"

Lunatic set his fingers apart and said,"Well, my father was a Fictorian Ninja, and my mother was a -"

"No, no, you nutjob; I meant, how'd you get in this room?" Phoenix rubbed her temple with frustration as she said,"I got enough of that gag with Cosmo."

"Oh," Lunatic laughed, then nerovusly said,"Well, I was training when the power went out, so I decided to start working on darkness stalking . . . and, find some light. It's dark in there!"

"No duh."

"So, I started wandering, and next thing I know, I saw the door was open! So, I waltz in when you were talking about a king and queen and their son." He knocked his head twice before he said," OH yeah, Tomoe, Haru and King Raika, right? Nice names, but I think - "

Silence.

Phoenix blinked twice. Lunatic had actually been paying attention to the story? He was retaining the information of the story? And had intellectual opinions about the story on top of it?!

A small smile crossed her lips.

"Say, Loony."

"Yo?"

"How about you sit here with me and listen to more?" she asked lightly. "No catch."

"No catch, eh?" Lunatic raised a brow. "What else is there?"

"You wanna go back to playing Dodge Bus in the dark?"

Silence.

Thunder.

"Continue."

"Gladly.

_To be Continued!_


	17. An Alternate Fairy Tale, Part Two

_OH man, part II! YES! Dream becoming a reality! Let the fun begin, I'm so glad to see you! And let's get this party started! Now, same as before, and I only own the Metagang and Kitten, everyone else is owned by everyone else, and please enjoy and review and no flames__!_

_ Years passed. Leaves changed colors. The Prince Haru too grew and became the splitting image of his father, much to his mother's chagrin. _

_ The war, in turn, had also been swept under the rug for other citizens of the Kingdom of Light. The battles became less and less of an occurance, and everyone was enjoying the time of peace. The royals began to educate their son for rule later in life, and began to choose suitable brides and suitors for his majesty._

_ As for the Prince, he had other matters on his mind . . . _

"YAHOO!"

A thundrous clap of hooves and carriage wheels echoed in the streets as passing pedestrians ducked for cover. Screams echoed as someone yelled out 'DUMB KID!', while an old lady mumbled something about a crazy wagon.

The white carriage barraged forward, straight through several stands and bales of hay, and the horses whinnied in turn.

"YEAH! THIS IS AWESOME!"

At the reigns was a long-haired blond teenage male dressed in silky clothes, light greens and white to be exact. About his neck was a familiar white necklace, which glittered in the sunlight.

Beside him was a shaking male with bright blue hair, and his clothes were blown from the speeding winds. His eyes were wide as plates, not from excitement like the prince, but from the exact opposite.

"THINK YOU CAN SLOW DOWN A BIT?!"

"NO CHANCE! THIS IS AWESOME!"

"YOU'RE GOING OVER THE LIMI - WATCH OUT FOR THE DOG!"

The carriage turned as he pulled the reigns back, turning into the carriageway for the castle. The taller teen was shivering, pale as ivory, and panting heavily in his courtier clothes. The carriage came to a swift stop, and Prince Haru laughed as he turned to him.

He bit his lip as he let go of the reigns.

"So, uh, how'd I do?"

Silence.

The blue haired teen gulped and jumped down before running to a bush. Haru blinked, then looked ahead and said," Maybe I did too well . . . "

"Prince Haru!"

A maid and servant ran over, both looking pleased.

"How did your carriage driving lesson with Page Kokuou go?"

"I think I it went well!" Haru laughed.

From the bush, Page Kokuou was shivering.

"Never . . . again . . . " he murmured.

Haru jumped down and pet the horses in front. "Good job, guys. I'll be sure to give you extra carrots tonight."

"Excellent choice, sire," the duo said at once. The maid then coughed and said,"King Raika also requires your presence right now, your majesty."

"Dad wants me? Weird, why not just come and get me?" he asked.

The page walked by with a grumbled, "I can think of a few reasons . . . "

"Ah well then, thank you both!"

Prince Haru ran along the side, aiming for the door. He waved at the three, who all waved back with trained precision. When he stepped inside, he sighed against the door. All the same, he thought.

Everyday has been the same since he turned 19: Early morning exercises, Practice lessons, listening to the citizens, practice lessons, eavesdropping on the maids and servants' rants about his parents, carriage driving lessons, practice lessons.

He turned up the stairs and started walking into the hallway for the throne room.

"Why can't dad just let me be me?" he sighed.

He crossed his arms as he glanced at the protraits of former kings along the hallways, but quickly looked away. He felt like he was gonna be sick after doing that.

No chance comparing him to former kings. He was himself, the Prince Haruko the First. No one else.

"Man, sometimes I just wanna - "

"You 'wanna' what, my son?"

He gulped. He panned his eyes up.

Before him stood King Raika, who was now garbed in darker colored robes and clothes. While some strands of his hair had retained their natural red finish, white streaks were scattered about his frame and beard. His eyes were less jovial than usual, and his stiff body was enough of a statement.

"Oh man," he mumbled.

"Well? I'm waiting, Haru," he said.

Haru gulped and laughed nervously, then scooted out from between his father and the door. "I-uh, was . . . just remarking on how . . . I . . . "

He glanced into the throne room, seeing the usual thrones, the tapestries, and his eyes fianlly rested on a book nearby.

" - catch up on my reading! Yeah, Be-because I-uh . . . can't help but _do_ it, y'know?"

Silence. Raika's glare pierced.

"Yes, so much so your tutor has recommended that you get stricter lessons . . . ones you don't bother to skip."

Haru gulped and said swiftly,"W-well . . . then I-I guess I also . . . "

He glanced out the window and spotted the carriage.

" Ah, now I - I remember! I wanted to work on my carraige driving with Page Kokuou! I'm already pretty g-good, but I - "

Raika's eyes didn't betray.

" - have recieved complaints about citizens' conerns for their children in the streets, and several complaints about a ruined cabbage stand."

"That was an accident," Haru murmured.

"What now?"

"Nothing!"

Haru was sweating buckets as Raika sighed and rubbed his temple.

"What am I going to do with you, Haruko?"

Haru finally relaxed and let his smile vanished. "Ah man, dad, I'm just having fun . . . is that a crime?"

"It is when you destroy your own kingdom," he said sternly. Raika pointed at the crown on his head and said,"As a member of the Royal Family of Light, it is our sworn duty to protect this kingdom and all those who inhabit it from any kind of danger and damge, even if it may come from the royal family themselves."

Haru glanced away at that with an unreadable look.

"As future king, all I want you to do is dictate yourself with utmost respect, honor and dignity required for a royal of this kingdom. And, given your manners and reckless nature, it seems your mother . . . and I have failed in raising you as such . . . "

Haru's eyes dimmed at the mention of his mother.

_With the years to the royals came substantial losses. _

On the throne for the queen was a bouquette of beautiful red roses.

_ The Queen, Tomoe, suffering with depression and stress over the war between the kingdoms, wavered in both health and stance. She contracted a mysterious disease, one that belittled her, and left her breathless . . ._

_ Her passing was slow and painful for both royals . . . _

"What?! No, no you didn't - I - I don't cause mayhem EVERYWHERE I go!" Haru started to whimper. He laughed nervously and said,"I-I mean, sure I dropped a vase here and there on accident, but . . . accidents can happen . . . right?"

Raika was now facing away from him. Haru sighed.

"Oh just go ahead and punish me . . . I deserve it . . ." He murmured under his breath, "Although the cabbage cart was not my fault exactly . . . "

"Not this time," Raika said.

Haru's eyes grew wider. What was he hearing?

"E-xcuse me?"

Raika turned to him with a faint smile. "Perhaps I have been too lenient on you, Haruko. Your mother and I had always spoilt you, so . . . I will not punish you this time. It's obvious it won't work."

"Oh . . . kay then?"

Raika ushered him over, saying, "I have something else in mind."

Haru paled. "Military school?"

"Far from it, my boy," Raika laughed lightly.

Haru stepped over, and Raika's hand slowly slid to the necklace about his neck. He let the center stone glitter in the light. Several other stones shined brightly in six other colors about the pendant in the center.

"Do you understand this necklace you bear, my son?"

"I, uh, think so . . . "

He coughed and started to recite something.

" '_The land, once divided with chaos and strife,_

_ once deemed unsuitable for human life,_

_ gathered together seven sources of light,_

_ each color blinding in power and sight,_

_ all came together with powerful might,_

_ and banished the darkness within the night."_

Raika nodded. "A little off, but . . . " He ushered the prince to think harder, or continue.

Haru gulped. He bit his lip and let his mind ponder over the poem. So, there were seven colors . . . seven colors, lights . . . was it that there was a single warrior who was important? No, he'd whip him for that answer . . .

_' Wait, I have it!" _he thought.

"I - I think . . . it means," he started, "That . . . when the land was younger, the Darkness overtook it, and magic and humans used light to banish them?"

Raika snickered and said," Close enough." He resat on his throne, still holding the pendant in his fingers as if it were a soul. "Legend has it that in times of the Darkness Kingdom's rule, seven brave warriors fought using seven colors of light. Their power was immense, and their light created a large aurora that could be seen all over the land."

Haru's eyes went wide as he felt his heart sink. _'Of course it was that answer,' _he thought. '_Can't I remember anything?'_

His father turned the stone over and over in his hand before letting go.

"Our kingdom was founded after that, you know," he said. "Right in the center, and in turn, the necklace you wear is, in legend, the same one used by those warriors." The light gleamed off each stone in order as Raika added," And each warrior sported one of those little gemstones about your neck . . . and channeled the power of their light to the center stone.

Haru touched the center stone once more . . . then laughed.

"That's a load of bull, dad! Reminds me of the boogyman stories you told me as a ki-"

THWACK!

Haru was on the ground, groaning, and now sporting a goose-egg. Raika's hand was gripped and he swiftly flung it out.

"I would appreciate it if you respected the legends of your land, Haruko . . . lest terrible fates befall you."

"I'll keep it in mind . . . "

Haru rose slowly, rubbing his head. He hated it when his dad did that to him. It made him feel like a total idiot.

"So, uh, what does this have to do with me?"

"Since then, the necklace has become an heirloom to kings and princes within the Kingdom of Light."

" Cool, but - "

"And, I have an order to give you . . . "

"W-wait . . . or-der?"

Raika shushed him and ushered his dizzy son to the window. He pointed to the horizon, where darkened storm-clouds were brewing, and drawing closer quickly. Haru gasped and leaned out, seeing demonic faces and elven creatures buried within the clouds.

Lightning flashed, thunder boomed, and screams of death and terror seemed to deafly echo.

"Oh man . . . you think I'd notice something like that . . . "

"Well, that ignorance was something your mother and I bred into you, so don't feel so bad . . . no one else in the kingdom seems to have noticed either."

"Wow . . . we're not that smart, are we?"

"Nope."

Haru kept staring out at the clouds, which swirled and scattered, as if they were sentient.

"But . . . all my life . . . and why just now - ?"

_"Good question," another voice echoed. "Why IS it always when the hero gets older? Why not when they're YOUNGER, or something like that?"_

Phoenix felt a vein pulse in her head. Not even a chapter ahead after Lunatic's outburst was she interrupted again by another. But this time, the voice also sounded young.

"Because if they started when they were kids, things would turn bloody . . . fast. And no author wants to push themselves into a corner of immorality." Phoenix murmured. Her eyes peered down from the book, revealing a whistling Lunatic, and a confused and blinking Lion's Edge. "Edge?"

"Yeah, door was open, and I heard something about Haru. Guess it was the wrong one," he sighed with a shrug.

"And so you came in? Did you close the door?" she asked.

He nodded, then added with disdain, "And Harry Potter started HIS journeys as a kid, and look what he got to do for the love of steed!"

Phoenix stopped and blinked. He did have a point, no matter how bad the ending might have been.

"Now that you mention it," Lunatic snickered.

Phoenix groaned and said, "Let me guess: you also want to hear more about this story?"

"Why not? I can't get ahold of the Gladiis in this storm," Edge said as he placed his legs on the table, "so why not see this train crash and burn?"

Silence and thunder.

"You do not like that Haru-guy do you?"

"Not in particular. Why?"

"Just curious."

_The two stood staring out the window, seeing the swirling clouds and incoming waves of demons. Dumbfounded and silent, the Prince Haru gaped more, now feeling his blood boil._

_ King Raika broke the silence._

"Your mother and I wanted to keep you out of harm's way," Raika sighed sadly. He retreated from the window and faced the thrones. His eyes rested on the roses. "Your mother most of all wanted to keep you safe . . . and never wanted you to fight . . . And now, it seems the Darkness Kingdom has gained a headwing into our own lands . . . after so long . . . "

Haru gulped. He kept staring out. It was haunting to watch the clouds swirl and encroach the kingdom. All his life, and he had never known about this . . . The entire time he was studying, working on carriage driving, skipping on lessons . . . his happy life was only a sham.

He glanced to the ground, seeing people entreat into their homes for evening meals and sleep. Ignorant of the Darkness Kingdom's forces . . . and what they could have been capable of.

"How . . . ?"

"Huh?" Raika asked.

"How could you not tell me about this?!" he yelled, "Not until now?! Why not tell me before, when mom was dying!?"

Raika kept silent.

"Because I was afraid you would charge blindly into battle . . . like I had done."

"Oh no sob stories, old man!" Haru yelled, now gripping the necklace. Tears were forming in his eyes. "I-I wouldn't have - well, I would have - why not tell me?!"

"I did it to protect you, Haruko," Raika said firmly. "I will not allow my son to become another statistic to this war!"

"You never even told me about any war!"

"It was for your own good! Now calm down!"

"HOW CAN I WHEN YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME MY WHOLE LIFE?"

"Do NOT raise your voice at me!"

Haru was grabbing the pendant as he yelled, "You say you did this for ME, but I'll bet you did this because you didn't WANT me to fight! You think I'm some coward?!"

"I never said that! Stop speaking nonsense!"

"You order me around like I'M one of your subjects! I'm your SON, not a MOOR! Treat me like one!"

"I DO treat you like my son! Your behavior is just comparable to a hethan's!"

"AND HERE WE GO!"

Haru broke down and hit the floor, crying. He punched the floor twice as he yelled," I'll bet your order is just for me to get lost from the kingdom! Isn't it!? Isn't it!"

A long silence followed, and Haruko's eyes just filled to the brim while the king stood on with a mixed look of sadness and anger.

"Haruko - !"

"UH . . . "

There was a door click as the two froze in place, and a young female maid peeked her head through the crack. She blinked as she saw the tension.

"Uh . . . your - highness?"

"Y-yes, Ophelia?"

"I . . . just wanted to say . . . everything is set . . . "

Silence. Haru sniffled and looked up.

"Am, I . . . is this a bad time?"

"Yes," both said.

"Right, I'll just . . . be . . . going now."

The door shut swiftly and footsteps and worried yelps echoed down the hall. Prince Haru stood back up as Raika hugged him tightly. He stroked his hair and let go, bracing his shoulders.

"My son, my Prince Haruko, remember this . . . you are, and always will be, my ultimate pride and joy." He smiled as he said so, tearing up.

"D-Dad, I . . . "

"I know, my boy, you're sorry . . . " he sighed. "It seems we both have a penchant for excitement and anger."

"No joke."

Both chuckled lightly as Haruko finally let his question loose.

"But, what did Ophelia mean everything is set? And what did you really call me here for?"

Raika smiled and touched the necklace. Bitter tears were falling down his face. Haru blinked and glanced up to his father, who now resembled more of a fallen hero than a mighty king.

He merely tapped the pendant twice.

"Look for Hikari of the North. She will tell you everything you need to know. Now, hurry on. The carriage is waiting for you."

'Wait, carriage?!"

"You must go, my son!"

He started pushing Haru out, who was now getting frantic and ecstatic.

"Wh-what, wait! Where am I going?! What does this have to do with the necklace?! Why am I asking all of these questions? Why now tell me this?! Why not before?! Father!"

He was slammed out of the room, and the door swiftly shut behind him. Haruko started banging on the gold. A thunderous clamor was growing in the throne room, and he started hearing shattering sounds. The sunlight from before was vanishing from the windows, and with it, sank the He banged louder.

"Father! Father! Answer me! Father! Father? . . . Father . . . "

He glanced up the door, and lightly tapped his head against the door.

"What the hell is going on?"

A set of gentle hands grabbed his shoulders as he started to sink to the ground. Ophelia, nodding to him, whispered one thing.

'Run.'

_The next few moments of Prince Haru's life were filled with dread and adrenaline. He bolted from his spot after the maid whispered that fateful word, and he dared not look back. Down the steps, further down hallways, never once looking back._

_ He could feel the presence of the Darkness, and all about him, he felt it flow; he could hear screams from the outside, and the shattering of glass as demons turned from smoke to beast. And still he dared not to look._

_ The whirlwind of running and carriage racing about the city lasted for what seemed like forever for the prince, and for his horses. Demons carrying vast amounts of poisoned knives, spears, bombs and daggers charged after him, along with fang-bearing bats and dragons._

_ All intent was to kill._

"And all this is just action and dialogue meant to enthrall the reader?" Edge asked.

"You wanna stick around for the next chapter?" Phoenix groaned.

"Mind if I get some popcorn or something?" Lunatic asked.

_ Prince Haru raced forward, barely reaching the edge of town before his eyes were opened with the falling of one of his steeds._

_ He dared to not yell at the fall, lest he attract more attention to himself from the incoming demonic hoards. The collapse of the carriage thereafter forced him not to, especially when it involved his body being layered with the wood and metal. The second horse screamed as it fell onto the stones and cobbles, the scent of blood and sweat mixing with its mangled cries. _

_ The prince lay hidden under the splintered wood, biting his lip in terror and ecstasy, as the horse he once trained with was dragged off by disgusting demons and diabolically hungered dragons._

_ Only a few tears fell._

_ Within an hour, the coast was cleared for Haruko to break his cover. He kept himself hidden, barely breathing from shock and terror. He kept low to the ground, never once looking back at his home._

_ At least, until he reached a far enough place._

_ The hills outside of town._

Haruko stood shaking, fighting his tears, as he veered his gaze towards his home. Or, what was once his home. The steeples of the city, once the brightest for miles around, were smoked and dark black. Screams were deaf to him at this distance. The pain, the suffering . . . all unimaginable.

Had he the courage or ability, he'd charge blindly into the city, wielding a demonic axe . . .

"But how can I?"

He gripped the necklace harder and sniffled before leaned against an oak that was growing at a slant. He ignored his pains as he gripped the necklace. His closed and teary eyes never caught the glimmers of light before him.

"H - how c-can I g-go back . . . ? Everything . . . my home, my mother, my father . . . " He sunk low, sitting at the roots of the tree. "What do I do? Where do I go from . . . here?"

The wind blew into his face, making him cough.

"Oh-blergh-gah!-geez!" he spat out sand and dirt, as sparkling dust blew onto his face. "AH IT BURNS! What IS this?!" Haru wiped his face as he moved from the tree, rubbing his eyes. He blinked back towards the tree, now seeing a faint lining of a person. "Oh man, I think I've having an allergic reaction or something . . . "

"Wrong again, Prince Haru!" the person said.

"Wait wha?!" he yelped.

He jumped back, hitting the tree, as he blinked a few more times. He gasped as he regained full vision.

Standing before him was a beautiful woman wearing a golden dress and wielding a star dusted wand. Her wings beat swiftly as she smiled behind her silvery-white hair. She blinked and landed on the ground before curtsieing.

"Wh-what?! Creepy dudette in the house!" he yelped.

Her smile fell into a frown as she glared right through him. Haru paled as he moved closer.

"S-so, uh . . . who are you, chicka?"

"I am the Golden Fairy," she smiled. She giggled and said," Of course, others know me more as Hikari of the North."

Those words made Haru's eyes gleam.

"D-Did you say Hikari of the North?" He gripped the necklace and rocketed to her, holding her hands tightly. His eyes shined brightly as he started with "My father told me to find you! Who knew you'd find me? But - but still! You can help me!"

"Indeed, and my aren't you the cheeky boy?" she giggled. She thrusted her hands from him, leaving Haru wide eyed and gaping. "However, I am afraid I have gotten here too late to provide much help . . ."

Haru blinked before he turned to her, dumb-founded. "B-but . . . my kingdom? My father? You can't just - there has to be - ?!"

Hikari sighed and dusted her gown off before nudging to the shrouded kingdom. Haru, wobbling on his right leg, looked with her. Her wand glimmered and dimmed as she pointed at the kingdom. A sigh of regret escaped her lips as a sob escaped Haruko's.

"It would appear the Dark Kingdom has already staked their claim in the Kingdom of Light . . . and I have come too late to stop them."

Haruko asked, almost afraid, "W-were you busy with other feats of magic, o-oh wonderful fairy?"

"No, I was with my boyfriend and lost track of time."

The prince could not have made a deeper indentation in the ground.

"THAT'S _**REALLY**_ WHAT IT SAYS?!"

Lunatic was on the floor, breathless, while Phoenix was stiffling her laughter at a fuming Edge.

"That's what it flipping says!"

"But," she said, "we did agree that we can aid you on your journey."

"If it's a journey I have to go on, then I'll do it." Haruko, having regained his composure, was now standing straight and almost saluting the fairy as she floated. "Just tell me what to do . . . Anything to get my kindgom and home back."

Hikari tsked and said, "That much determination for that kind of goal will get you hurt later on."

"You think?"

"Positive. Lose the idea," she said in a surprisingly dark tone.

"Yes ma'am."

"Now then . . . " she said and waved her wand. The tip of it touched the necklace about Haruko's neck, which made it glimmer bright once more. "You are aware of the Legend of the Seven Lights, correct? And how it pertains to the necklace you now wear about your neck, young Prince?"

Haruko nodded. He gripped the necklace, and felt immense power race into his body. His hair flew up lightly and fell back as the necklace glow dimmed once more.

"The time has come again for these seven lights to be relit, and for new heroes to be chosen."

Haruko nodded, and said, "And to make the aurora, ju-just . . . just like . . . "

Hikari gently pressed her hand on his, and said softly, "Your father did what he had to do to protect you."

"How do you know?"

"All will be revealed in due time, young Prince Haruko. But for now - "

Her gentle finger laid on a pure white stone.

"You must find the seven heroes, all of whom will help you save your kingdom." She moved her finger back and swirled it above her head, displaying seven colorful auras. "Each of them will have different aspects, different ways of life, and overall . . . " she sighed then said flatly,"will not kill each other before you get back here."

"I can see why they'd have to not, " Haru snickered. He turned to her and pleaded," But how will I know them from others?"

"They will be identified when the necklace you wear glows," she said. The gemstones lit up in a row from the left to the right, creating a rainbow of sorts. "Once the stones glows, you will know."

Haru stared in a gaping silence before laughing,"I don't quite get that, but that's bananas."

"Yes, now pay attention." He nodded. "I will also give you a map to follow around this kingdom and country," she said. Hikari of the North waved her wand and a scroll appeared in a flash of pure white light. The scroll looked almost new, and as it landed in Haru's hands, it spread open automatically. "Every line, every tree, every river is marked. The heroes you find will help you, so long as you comply with them, and -"

Haru was already scanning the map and looking back, barely listening to her. Hikari tapped her foot and coughed loudly, getting his attention back.

"Huh? What was that? Sorry, babe, I was reading this map . . . " he said. "Can't figure out what 'no-ruth' is."

"Good thing brains isn't part of your quest . . . " she sighed silently.

"What now?"

"Nothing, nothing . . . "

Haru looked up and stared off at the decaying kingdom of light; it looked as if someone had shattered a mirror then painted it black. Just looking at it pierced his heart and shattered his soul.

"I'll do it," he said under his breath.

"Good," she said," but you must get going, young prince." She made a pack appear in white light and handed it to him gently before pushing him in the back with her wand. "The sun is setting, and the dark forces grow stronger with shadows. And once they are ready, the darkness will move eastward on their conquest."

"R-roger . . ." he said, rubbing his head. He rolled the map up and " Man there's too much information to absorb . . . what do I do when I get all of them together?"

"Come back to the kingdom, and kick the Dark Kingdom leader in his teeth!"

"THAT I do understand!"

Haruko tightened his grip on the pack and started running down the hill. "I won't let you down, Hikari, nor will I let anyone else down! I'll find those heroes, and I'll help save my kingdom!"

He slipped a few times on the hill on his right knee, but he kept running. Hikari, watching him, started to fly off. She sighed sadly.

"If he's the best they could do, then maybe this IS for the best . . . "

"Dude's dumber than the real Haru," Edge snickered.

"No argument there, but can I PLEASE read this without issue or criticism?"

"But that's what makes it fun!" Lunatic said, now holding a soda.

"Where'd you get that?!"

"I have a stash."

"No getting it on the books! And . . . I'd like one. All this talking is making me thirsty . . . "

"I'll take one," Edge said nonchalantly.

_To be continued!_


End file.
